May the 4th came and went, and like most of you, I honestly could not be arsed to bother with it. There was a time, between the ages of 12 and about 27, when I was a rabid STAR WARS fan – I particularly loved the novels, and would read through them voraciously. The amount of nonsensical lore I have rattling around in my head on all things STAR WARS, even to this day, is really not funny – right down to the supremely important question of whether the Executor-class Super Star Destroyer is 8Km long or 19Km long:

But, starting all the way back around 2006 or so, when Del Rey started publishing the Legacy of the Force series, I began to go really sour on the whole franchise. It had just gotten too big, too stupid, and too ridiculous at that point.

And then… the House of the Devil Mouse took over the whole show in 2012, and began shitting out awful, canon-raping products that made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

They ended up completely destroying the franchise’s value in under 10 years – an impressive hatchet job that turned a US$4B acquisition into something Disney probably couldn’t even offload for a TENTH of that price now, because the brand has become so utterly toxic.

Things like this sort of nonsense really don’t help matters, either:

Beyond that, we have the problem of the upcoming Rey Palpatine film, and you can just imagine how that is going to go down among an already furious and thoroughly fed-up fanbase:

About the only thing left to say about STAR WARS is: let it BURN!!!

Seriously, the Galaxy’s Edge series – the novels, not the awful theme park – had a better ending than the entire STAR WARS saga, and that series completely lost the plot like halfway through Season 2, where you had absolutely no idea who the hell was doing what and why. (I suspect this is because Jason Anspach did most of the writing for those middle books, whereas Nick Cole stepped in to rescue things in the final two books – the sharp differences in writing quality are simply too stark to offer any other realistic explanation.)

Honestly, when two DOGS do a better job of amusing and entertaining people than anything from the entire Lucasfilm division of Disney from the past TEN YEARS, you know there is something very seriously wrong: