When news broke the other day that “Harry and the Half-Blood Princess”, as Our Beloved and Dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) Voxemort the Most Malevolent and Terrible once so memorably branded the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, are returning to PommieBastardLande, feelings on either side of the Pond were rather mixed. Americans were, I suspect, rather glad to see the backs of the Ginger Whinger and his entitled, annoying wife, who has done so much to damage both his and his broader family’s reputations. The Brits, on the other hand, are not exactly enthused about having yet more welfare-scroungers coming back while whining about how hard done by they were by everyone around them.

More than anything, though, the return of these two is not a sign of some sort of grand reconciliation with their family back in Ingerlund. It is instead a sign of their profound failure to make their own way in America:

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to move their family back to Britain six years after fleeing royal life is likely to be seen as the most dramatic admission yet that their grand plans to conquer America have failed.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex swept into California in 2020 with Hollywood seemingly at their feet, armed with their royal titles, global fame and blockbuster deals worth tens of millions of dollars.

There was a reported $100 million Netflix agreement and a $20 million Spotify contract – while podcasts, documentaries and television shows were promised.

Archewell Productions was supposed to turn the Sussexes into serious Hollywood power players, while Meghan later attempted to reinvent herself as a lifestyle entrepreneur.

They settled into a $15 million mansion in sun-kissed Montecito, surrounded by billionaires and A-list celebrities, as they embarked on what was supposed to be an extraordinarily lucrative second act.

But six turbulent years later, the couple are heading back across the Atlantic.

News that Harry and Meghan plan to return to Britain for an extended period and enroll Archie, seven, and Lilibet, five, in an English school suggests the couple have accepted that their American adventure has not delivered the glittering commercial empire once envisaged.

The Spotify deal is long gone. Their original Netflix contract has ended. The duchess’s series With Love, Meghan lasted two seasons.

A string of heavily promoted projects either struggled to find audiences or never materialized at all.

Even the couple’s first jointly produced feature documentary, Cookie Queens, endured a humiliating opening weekend this month when it was beaten at the US box office by a compilation of internet cat videos.

And their difficulties have stretched far beyond television.

Meghan’s lifestyle business endured an embarrassing start when American Riviera Orchard, a name unveiled with enormous fanfare in 2024, was eventually abandoned and replaced with the considerably shorter As Ever.

These two wore our their welcome a long time ago. They have repeated the ominous historical example of Harry’s grand-uncle, Edward VIII, who abdicated the throne over the refusal of Parliament, the Church of England, and the entire nation, to countenance his marriage to an American divorcee.

(Believe it or not, there WAS, in fact, a time when the Church of England stood FOR something, and was actually capable of defending the Christian faith. That was ever so long ago…)

The problem with Harry marrying Meghan Markle was nowhere near as severe, of course – he was a LONG way off from taking the throne, and it is probably safe to say that he would never have gotten anywhere near it.

No, the problem is that he and his wife simply bring yet more scandal, friction, and problems to a country that has far too much of all three.

More generally, though, the very fact that these two are being allowed anywhere near the Royal Family, is a strong indicator of just how far the core institutions of PommieBastardLande have fallen and failed.

When Harry’s grandfather, Prince Phillip, and then his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, died, I initially defended their legacies. I felt strongly back then – and still feel now – that a monarchy is an important connecting factor between a country’s past and present. Monarchy is still, in my view, the only really workable system of government that genuinely takes the interests of the people into account. Certainly, compared to modern dumbocracy and freedumb, monarchy is a far superior and preferable system.

But the fatal flaw in that logic is that the monarchy has to intervene in the interests of both the state and the people – which are not necessarily the same thing – to protect and preserve the nation.

And the plain, hard, FACT is that Queen Elizabeth II failed utterly to do precisely that.

She presided over the dissolution of the British Empire and its transition into the Commonwealth. That was almost surely a Good Thing – the Empire was an unbearable burden for a bankrupt and exhausted Britain after WWII. But then, the Queen ALSO presided over the vast hordes of migrants that came from those very same Commonwealth countries, and invaded Britain itself. The problem of mass migration became especially rampant during the Blair, Brown, Cameron, and Johnson years.

She had plenty of opportunities to put a stop to it by dissolving Parliament and demanding that the Prime Minister – which is, by British law and tradition, the Monarch’s First Minister, quite literally – take steps to protect her people.

She never did.

And she also should have taken steps to keep her younger grandson well in line. Her own children were, by and large failures. Her favourite son, Andrew, has been an utter failure and disgrace; her eldest son, Charles, is weak and clearly in over his head as her successor; her daughter, Anne, is an incredibly hard-working and strong-willed, but can make no impact whatsoever on the policies of her country; and her other son is the only one that nobody knows about, but is, not coincidentally, the only one who seems to have a normal and happy marriage.

That legacy of failure and decay has very clearly reached her younger grandson. Harry is nothing better than a situational Alpha with serious Gamma strains, and is very clearly dominated by his overbearing, socially ambitious (yet not actually terribly talented) wife.

The result is that Harry has become an emasculated man, who carries a great deal of resentment and anger toward his own people and family, and whose only outlet for it is woketardery and politically correct nonsense.

You can see it in the way the man talks about his past traumas. Instead of facing up to them and moving on, he carries them with him – even after years and years of therapy:

This, incidentally, is why I hold a fairly low opinion of psychotherapy as a profession. It does work, make no mistake, but far too many people use therapy as a crutch, not a tool. And far too many therapists end up making a lot of money through prolonging the suffering and misery of their clients, without ever actually solving any of their problems. In the end, with therapy, you pay someone to listen to your problems. When done correctly, this is useful and has a point. When done incorrectly – which is most of the time – it results in a gigantic waste of money and effort.

Harry and Meghan are coming back to a country mired in its own problems. Nobody wants anything to do with them here, yet they bring a legacy of resentment and grievance back with them. Given how utterly tone-deaf both of them are, they will undoubtedly spend their time whining about how bad everything is, and how horridly out of touch the British people are.

There was a time when the British might have tolerated such things – they had a very great deal of goodwill toward the Queen and her family. That time is long gone. The goodwill has transferred to the future King William and his young family, but the rest of the Royal Family (other than Anne and Edward) are largely disgraced in the public eye.

The White British Boomercucks still look at the Royals as an important institution. But the younger generations regard them as an anachronism – and, increasingly, an unnecessary burden on the public.

Given the way Harry turned out… they may well be right.