“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

They all knew it was fake

They all knew it was fake

Five years ago – five long, awful, TERRIBLE years ago, and somehow it seems like an even greater span than that – most of us who supported the God-Emperor watched, aghast, as what we considered to be a fake and illegitimate “President”, take his oath of office. This...
All the President’s mental blocks

All the President’s mental blocks

That image from the DURRbate between His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him,...
We found the Whore of Babylon

We found the Whore of Babylon

Hot off the heels of the antics of one Lily Phillips – remember her? – who managed to cry herself into headlines around the Western world, we now have the exploits of her one-time bestest buddy, Bonnie Blue. This involves yet another case of yet another British lass...
When REKTallica had a real drummer

When REKTallica had a real drummer

For years, I have been VERY harsh about one Larzzzz Ulrich, founder, drummer, and leader of Metallica – a band that I consider to be hugely overhyped and overrated. That being said, there was a time, back in my teens, when I did listen quite a bit to their...
Repoast: The Ten Commandments of the Iron God

Repoast: The Ten Commandments of the Iron God

As we have successfully killed off another year, and we are now all struggling to return to normal after the Christmas season of traditional overeating and overindulgence, it is time for us to greet the New Year by returning to that most sacred and hallowed temple of...
Deep-fake deepthots

Deep-fake deepthots

No, this is not Friday arriving early. There is actually a serious point to this poast. The picture you see up top is from an Instathot who goes by the name of “Floriana Hazel”. She is, by all appearances, in that picture, at least, a lovely, radiant young woman. She...
Breaking a proper garden tool

Breaking a proper garden tool

Most of us have better things to do than wonder what OnlyFools slags get up to, and that is a healthy and sensible attitude. Occasionally, though, one of them breaks into the mainstream consciousness, usually by doing something unspeakably stupid and disgusting. We...
The five-sided Syrian fustercluck

The five-sided Syrian fustercluck

The situation in the Middle East has taken a dramatic turn for the worse over the past week, with the “surprise” incursion by Radical Izzlamist F***bags from the northern Syrian province of Idlib. The city of Aleppo, once a stronghold of the Assad government in Syria,...
Without lies, Izzlam dies

Without lies, Izzlam dies

Most of you are old enough to remember the 9/11 attacks. I certainly am, and remember exactly what happened on the Tuesday morning (well, evening, given where I was living at that time), when the planes flew into the Twin Towers. That one event completely altered my...
The 2024 Post-Election Shitlord Schadenboner

The 2024 Post-Election Shitlord Schadenboner

As we saw last night, the world appears to be returning – kind-of-sort-of-really-slowly-in-a-chaotic-way – to normal. We can say this, because His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus...