“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The Empire was right

The Empire was right

I first started watching STAR WARS seriously as a teenager, and got to be an avid fan of the series, for many years. Throughout the 1990s and 2000s, I consumed vast amounts of the Expanded Universe lore – right up until the point where LucasArts released the...
The Didact converts to the Religion of Peace

The Didact converts to the Religion of Peace

My friends, after many years of disparaging the real revelation of the true god, I came to the conclusion last night that I have been following entirely the wrong course. You see, it so happened that I went to sleep in something one might best describe as a cave last...
Royal flushed

Royal flushed

There has been quite a lot of hoopla about Princess Catherine of Wales in PommieBastardLande, who has apparently gone missing and been replaced by a not-very-convincing series of body doubles. The whole fracas started when the future Queen went in for abdominal...
Hot pi

Hot pi

This stretch of the year, from very roughly March to April 5th, is perhaps the most momentous of any when it comes to making up excuses to celebrate things. We have International Women’s Day on March 8th; Pi Day on March 14th; Caesar Stabbification Day on March...
Happy HELLOWEEN 2023

Happy HELLOWEEN 2023

It is that time of year again, when the rest of the (Western) world celebrates October 31st with people dressing up like idiots and going to wild parties, while I celebrate by playing the music of the true granddaddies of European power metal: They did rather more...
This is your brain on MAFF

This is your brain on MAFF

As Grandpa Grumpuss pointed out in a recent poast of his, MAFF can get PRETTY DAMN WEIRD at times. He went out there on TEH INNARWEBZ and found a video of a maths professor talking about the hardest class in the subject he had ever taken. And, if you watch the video...
How to take the hobbits past Minas Morgul

How to take the hobbits past Minas Morgul

I realise I am rather stretching the LoTR metaphors to, and probably past, the breaking point, with respect to visiting Russia, but I think it is worth taking some time to sit down and write about what it now takes to visit Mordor. Things have changed dramatically in...
“Didact is unavailable at the moment…”

“Didact is unavailable at the moment…”

A number of my readers – well, OK, ONE of you – contacted me recently to ask why the hell all of the meme bombs and Didactic goodness had suddenly dried up. The short answer is, I am actually on holiday (!!!) in Russia (!!!!!!), and just got back from a...
Happy MAFF NERD day

Happy MAFF NERD day

March 14th of every year is, in theory, “Pi Day”. For the persnickety among us – yours truly VERY much included – it really should be celebrated at about 03:23:53 every March 14th, but I don’t think anyone is particularly interested in...
You know you’ve arrived when…

You know you’ve arrived when…

Most scammers are not exactly known for subtlety when sending out their fairly naked attempts to get you to fork over your hard-earned money to them. The most hilarious ones always involve some Nigerian who apparently stopped studying English at about the 5th Grade...