“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

White is all right

White is all right

The picture you see above, comes from an advertisement campaign launched by the American Eagle clothing brand. I cannot say I have any experience whatsoever with that brand, but they seem to have dumped half a hundredweight of wasabi straight into the tremendously...
Extra-crispy Turducken++

Extra-crispy Turducken++

The God-Emperor revealed yesterday that Boeing – yes, THAT Boeing, the one that cannot help but make a colossal mess out of literally everything it does nowadays – is going to be the producer of America’s future “sixth-generation” combat jet: As His Most Illustrious,...
The God-Emperor flays a man alive

The God-Emperor flays a man alive

As I said in my poast from last night, the major news lighting up the airwaves at the moment is the very public, extraordinarily brutal humiliation – and that is the correct term for it – of the Narcofuehrer of 404 – Country Not Found, by His Most Illustrious, Noble,...
Heir to the throne

Heir to the throne

God-Emperor 2.0 has certainly been a serious shift in tone, direction, and speed from the previous iteration. The sheer pace and force of the WINNING!!! has been dizzying, to say the least. The God-Emperor has moved against the Derp State with a level of...
They all knew it was fake

They all knew it was fake

Five years ago – five long, awful, TERRIBLE years ago, and somehow it seems like an even greater span than that – most of us who supported the God-Emperor watched, aghast, as what we considered to be a fake and illegitimate “President”, take his oath of office. This...
Winning, winning, and (mostly) MORE WINNING!!!

Winning, winning, and (mostly) MORE WINNING!!!

The first week of the blessed renewed reign of His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and...
The God-Emperor and the end of the Banderastan War

The God-Emperor and the end of the Banderastan War

As we all come off the emotional high of the God-Emperor’s epic victory – and WHAT a high it is!!! – we now find ourselves faced with the much more pedestrian realities of what he will do, given a second shot at the Cherry Blossom Throne and the Imperial Purple....
The 2024 Post-Election Shitlord Schadenboner

The 2024 Post-Election Shitlord Schadenboner

As we saw last night, the world appears to be returning – kind-of-sort-of-really-slowly-in-a-chaotic-way – to normal. We can say this, because His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus...
Make razors great again

Make razors great again

Jeremy Boreing is apparently the co-founder and, uh, “god-king” of the Littlest Chickenhawk’s media company, The Daily Wire. Recently, Harry’s Shaving Co. decided that they didn’t like the fact that the folks over at DW believe that there...
Big lizard and big monkey go BOOM

Big lizard and big monkey go BOOM

Back when Warner Bros. dropped the Godzilla vs Kong film trailer on YooToobz, I reacted with a snort of derision. It seemed to be too stupid for words – a really big dumb loud monster flick that made even Godzilla: King of the Monsters look sensible and sane by...