Just when you thought it was safe to go back to work… well, honestly, these days, it’s NEVER safe to go back to work, these days, but we all have to earn our shekels somehow, I suppose. So here we are, on a Monday, wearily waiting for it all to be over. Actually, for me, it was a damned busy day, and a fairly productive one at that. But for many, today is just a bone-chilling horror that we simply have to get through

Of course, that is why the Great Mondaydact Browser Mulcher exists, so that we can all eat our spinach and punch out this day.

Speaking of mulching spinach… this week’s theme comes via our good friend over in Israel, Dawn Pine, who suggested Popeye the Sailor. Take it away, bro:

Popeye the Sailor is a comic strip character, later featured in popular animated cartoons. He was created by Elzie Crisler Segar, and first appeared in the daily King Features comic strip Thimble Theatre on January 17, 1929.

Segar’s first Thimble Theatre strip was published on December 19, 1919. Shortly after Popeye’s introduction the sailor quickly became the main focus of the strip and Thimble Theatre became one of King Features’ most popular strips during the 1930s. Thimble Theatre was carried on after Segar’s death in 1938 by several writers and artists, including Segar’s assistant Bud Sagendorf. The strip, now titled Popeye, continues to appear in first-run installments in Sunday papers, written and drawn by Hy Eisman.

In 1933, Max and Dave Fleischer’s Fleischer Studios adapted the Thimble Theatre characters into a series of Popeye the Sailor theatrical cartoon shorts for Paramount Pictures. These cartoons proved to be among the most popular of the 1930s, and the Fleischers – and later Paramount’s own Famous Studios – continued production through 1957.

Since then, Popeye has appeared in comic books, television cartoons, a 1980 live-action film (Popeye, directed by Robert Altman), arcade and video games, and hundreds of advertisements and peripheral products.

Fictional character biography
In most appearances to date (except during the World War II era), Popeye is a middle-aged independent sailor (or “sailor man,” as he puts it) with a unique way of speaking, muscular forearms with two (sometimes one) anchor tattoos, thinning red hair, and an ever-present corncob pipe (which he toots like a steamship’s whistle at times). Despite some mistaken characterizations over the years, Popeye is generally depicted as having only one blue eye, his left. It has never been revealed specifically how Popeye lost his right eye, though he claims it was in “the mos’ arful battle” of his life. (Later versions of the character would have both eyes, with one of them merely being squinty, or “squinky” as he put it).

Popeye’s strange, comedic, and often supernatural adventures take him all over the world, and place him in conflict with enemies such as the Sea Hag and Bluto. His main base of operations is the fictional town of Sweet Haven. Popeye’s father is the degenerate Poopdeck Pappy, who does not share his son’s moral righteousness and is represented as having abandoned Popeye in some sources. Popeye’s sweetheart (and in some sources, wife) for over 77 years has been Olive Oyl, although the two characters often bickered, especially at the beginning of Popeye’s appearances. Popeye is the adoptive father of Swee’Pea, an infant foundling left on his doorstep. (Sweet Pea is a term of affection used by Popeye; in the cartoon We Aim to Please, he addressed Olive Oyl as “Sweet Pea” at one point.)

In addition to a gravelly voice and a casual attitude toward grammar, Popeye is known for having an apparent speech impediment (a common character-distinguishing device in early cartoons), which either comes naturally or is caused by the ever-present pipe in his mouth. Among other things, he has problems enunciating a trailing “t”. Thus, “fist” becomes “fisk” (as sung in his song, which makes it conveniently rhyme with “risk”) and “infant” becomes “infink”. This speech impediment even found its way into some of the titles of the cartoons.

Popeye is depicted as having superhuman strength, though the nature of his strength changes depending on which medium he is represented in. Originally, the comic-strip Popeye revealed that he had gained his strength by rubbing the head of the rare Whiffle Hen. He later said he was strong because he ate spinach. The animated shorts attributed Popeye’s strength to what condition he was in. Even in his most normal everyday condition he was ridiculously strong, but if he became worn out or beaten, he would eat spinach which would restore and amplify his strength to an even greater level (at normal strength Popeye appears capable of lifting or pressing approximately 4000 lbs; when amplified by spinach he can lift or press about 36 tons). Other differences in Popeye’s story and characterization show up depending upon which medium he is presented in. While Swee’Pea is definitively the adopted child of Popeye in the comic strips, he is often depicted as being related to Olive Oyl in cartoons. The cartoons also occasionally feature family members of Popeye that have never appeared in the strip, notably Peepeye, Pupeye, Pipeye, and Poopeye, his look-alike nephews.

I actually grew up watching reruns of this cartoon. Here are some videos to remind us of the cartoon and its legacy:

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For your Cultural Enrichment segment of the week:

NEVER let anyone tell you that Russians are dour and humourless – they actually have a riotously funny sense of humour, it’s just not one that everyone “gets”. But, when they want to let loose and make you laugh, they do it better than almost anyone else. The caption of this video says, “How Men Dance”:

For those whose Russian isn’t as good as mine (i.e. about at the 3rd-grade level), here is a (loose) translation of the captions:

I am observant

And counted 27 types of male dancing.

Well, how do you dance?

1. Seducer
2. Disco dancer
3. Nerd
4. Macho
5. Redneck (literally, cattle)
6. Positive
7. Guy searching for a girl
8. Caucasian – this is much funnier than it sounds, especially to Russians, because men from the Caucasus dance like this
9. I can’t figure this one out, but it has something to do with some Russian stoner-rap song
10. Not into the theme (the literal translation is “off-topic”, but that’s not accurate)
11. Drunk – and, by the way, calling someone “alkash” in Russian is quite an insult
12. Incognito
13. No sense of rhythm
14. Tectonic
15. Prime Minister
16. Gangnam Style (self-explanatory, really)
17. Druggie
18. SInger (and that doesn’t really convey the full meaning of the word – this is the guy who is REALLY into it)
19. Striptease guy
20. Cowboy
21. Maniacal (literally, “rushing”, but in this context, “maniacal” is a better fit)
22. Killed
23. Gay
24. Fitness Instructor
25. Show-off
26. Boxer
27. Moscow Olympic Stadium, I can’t hear you!!!

Y’all realise, this is a public service I provide here, y’know.

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Before we get to the serious stuff, let’s just take a moment to laugh our asses off at one of the funniest stories that I’ve ever seen – told in inimitable fashion by Greg Gutfeld:

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#BasedTucker is based:

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The Male Brain has been busy at work assembling some great stuff for us this week. We start with a video from Cracked about how that “extended warranty” of yours actually works:

FreedomToons explains how Biden’s actual, uh, “recovery plan” really works:

KnowledgeHub looks back at what we all thought TEH INNARWEBZ would look like, back in the 1990s:

You know what’s really depressing to me?

Some of my readers are so young, they don’t have any clue what “the 1990s” actually were.

Lord, I HATE getting old…

Anyway – Key & Peele explain what would happen if you applied the logic of pro football drafts to Really Important Stuff, like teachers:

For the record – most teachers are useless and overpaid. And I say that even though one of my closest relatives is an actual teacher.

Wisecrack breaks down a major problem with modrenity:

In the words of Dawn Pine:

What is “Because people are idiots?”
Also from Jeremiah 10:2″ Thus says the Lord:

“Do not learn the way of the Gentiles;
Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven,
For the Gentiles are dismayed at them.“

Also also:

Classic astrology is not about your sign, but about the specific date and time you were born. You chart a map accordingly, not just fluff you read in the paper or online.

Also also also – straight from the Bible:

¹⁴ And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons,^[f] and for days and years, ¹⁵ and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth.” And it was so.

— Genesis 1:14-15, English Standard Version

There you go. The stars are not in the heavens to divine your future. They are there to mark the passage of the seasons and mark “appointed times”.

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Mark Dice cannot contain his glee at the collapse of the latest Hollyweird mutual masturbation session:

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Dave from Blue Collar Logic takes up the challenge of explaining that concept introduced by Dr. Robert Malone in the Toe Rogan interview – Mass Formation Psychosis:

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Jason Siler can’t quite believe his eyes – Jake Tapeworm from the Clown News Network ALMOST did his job for once!:

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Bill Whittle is back from vacation, and looks at the Branch Covidians pretending that we purebloods are the problem:

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Paul Ramsey asks whether Hollyweird is finally getting its much-deserved comeuppance:

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PJW notes that the Russians – who have been through Hell and back – now have an objectively stronger and more robust culture than the evil, diseased, rotten carcass of the American Empire:

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The lovely and charming Dr. Sam Bailey discusses one of the most useful and important essential nutrients in our diet:

The interesting thing about Vitamin C is that asorbic acid has fairly limited impact when consumed orally – but it is an absolute wonder drug when consumed intravenously. It is also dangerous when injected, for various reasons. Funny how that works.

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Lord Razor of the Fist Clan cannot contain his glee when watching Sen. Rand Paul tear apart Fraudci:

Read through The Real Anthony Fauci by Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. It is a genuinely shocking, yet extremely well-documented, book. Then, watch the Fraudci take the stand, and you will very quickly see that his tactics of obfuscation, misdirection, digression, and outright nonsense, have not changed in 40 years.

That man is directly responsible for TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DEATHS, and that’s BEFORE the Coof. He is likely culpable for over HALF A MILLION preventable deaths from the Coof itself.

We used to try and hang Nazi war criminals for far less than that. Evidently, we don’t seem to remember the lessons of the Nuremberg Trials.

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The Dizzle rips apart the False Prophet of the Great Heresy with effortless ease:

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Related – our warrior brother Christian Prince has immense patience and fortitude, taking on Abdools by the boatful and absolutely schooling them with their idiotic fake religion:

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Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms continues to unpack the mysterious origins of Islam:

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Al-Fadi from CIRA International and his good friend, Apostate Prophet, thoroughly dismantle the entire nonsensical Izzlamic narrative surrounding the Ka’aba:

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Dr. Frank Turek from Cross Examined has some harsh, but fair, words about the unrepentant sinners who attempt to justify their sins:

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China Uncensored notes the futility of the ChiCom anti-Coof strategy:

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America Uncovered explains who and what globalists really are:

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Jared Taylor from American Renaissance is unimpressed by corporate and government diversity mandates:

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Terrence Popp talks about crazy ex-girlfriends – and he has a LOT of such stories to share:

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Midnight’s Edge continues its excellent series unpacking the spectacular rise, and even more spectacular fall, of one of the greatest marketing phenomena of all time:

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Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock goes full QAnon in examining how Queen Karen Kennedy has completely lost power at Lucasfilm – but, I have to admit, his logic is very solid:

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Gary from Nerdrotic notes that the M-She-U has failed so badly that their “flagship” film, Ms Marvel, has to go through massive and very expensive reshoots:

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The Drinker explains the phenomenon of, and problem with, the “soft reboot”:

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Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week is from The Male Brain, and concerns how creatures can survive and adapt outside of their natural environment:

Navigation is a critical ability for animal survival and is important for food foraging, finding shelter, seeking mates and a variety of other behaviors. Given their fundamental role and universal function in the animal kingdom, it makes sense to explore whether space representation and navigation mechanisms are dependent on the species, ecological system, brain structures, or whether they share general and universal properties. One way to explore this issue behaviorally is by domain transfer methodology, where one species is embedded in another species’ environment and must cope with an otherwise familiar (in our case, navigation) task. Here we push this idea to the limit by studying the navigation ability of a fish in a terrestrial environment. For this purpose, we trained goldfish to use a Fish Operated Vehicle (FOV), a wheeled terrestrial platform that reacts to the fish’s movement characteristics, location and orientation in its water tank to change the vehicle’s; i.e., the water tank’s, position in the arena. The fish were tasked to “drive” the FOV towards a visual target in the terrestrial environment, which was observable through the walls of the tank, and indeed were able to operate the vehicle, explore the new environment, and reach the target regardless of the starting point, all while avoiding dead-ends and correcting location inaccuracies. These results demonstrate how a fish was able to transfer its space representation and navigation skills to a wholly different terrestrial environment, thus supporting the hypothesis that the former possess a universal quality that is species-independent.

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Your long read of the week is also from The Male Brain, and examines whether Israel is really an apartheid state, as so many of its critics believe:

The lie of “Israeli apartheid” was dreamt up in Moscow during the Cold War and driven home by a relentless Soviet propaganda campaign until it took hold in the UN and across the Middle East and the West. This included the repeated comparison of Israel with South Africa in the Soviet media and in books such as “Zionism and Apartheid”, an official state publication of Ukraine, then part of the Soviet Union.

The sometimes naive, sometimes malign students who will again be holding their poisonous “Israel apartheid week” at universities across the globe this year will be parroting the same Soviet propaganda as their predecessors have done for decades. They, and many other Israel-haters use the apartheid slogan regardless of the reality that under no rational measure can Israel be considered an apartheid state. They do so because its meaning is easily understood, it disgusts people and rallies them to the anti-Israel cause. That is why it was invented by Moscow.

The apartheid smear is just one part of the greatest slur campaign in history, organized over many years against Israel by the Kremlin with the KGB in the lead, utilising the formidable resources of intelligence services of the USSR. It was perhaps the most successful disinformation campaign — of many — in Soviet history. It endures and gains strength even today, more than 50 years after it was first conceived and 30 years after the USSR collapsed.

It is worth understanding how this malevolent project originated and evolved, not only to help defend against the continuing political warfare waged on Israel and Jews, but also as a case study for the ongoing disinformation campaigns against the West by authoritarian states such as Russia, China and Iran. To gain even a superficial insight into this carefully contrived scheme we must take a trip back into history.

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Linkage is good for you – I’ll fix the links later:

• The Turks are none too happy about being stuck with the bill for Turducken Planes that they will now never use, and want their money back, somehow;
• Not content with blowing VAST quantities of money on Joint Strike Flying Pianos, the US Navy now wants to crash-develop a SOOPER SEEKRIT NEW AMAZEBALLS DESTROYER!!! that will SHOOT LASERS AND HYPERSONICS AND SHIT!!!;
• On the other hand, the decidedly non-useless F-22 Raptor is getting a radar upgrade that will, hopefully, make it even more deadly;
• Scott Ritter points out that war with Russia would a colossal fustercluck for the USA, and I think he’s absolutely right;
• Here’s your “Don’t Stick Your Dick In Crazy” moment of the week – seriously, women like that are genuinely hazardous to your health and wealth;
• Let’s follow up on that with your “Grifters Gonna Grift” moment of the week – if you give people incentives to pretend to be underprivileged, then don’t be surprised when A LOT MORE people claim to be underprivileged;
• This may come as a shock to some of you, but those Ukrainian mail-order bride websites are actually kind of full of scammers;
• Now this is news to make a grown man weep – DriveTribe is shutting down due to the Scamdemic’s impact on revenues;
• A lot of people my age and younger are quitting because we’re so sick and tired of being treated like shit under our boss’s shoes, and people are finally beginning to notice;
• On the other hand, some CEOs have come up with very sensible ways of dealing with that problem, by offering the unserious some real incentives to get out before the hard work starts;
• Working for someone else is generally pretty unbearable, but most of us are able to find ways to make the burden a little less awful through pranks and passive-aggressive notes;
• The 2010s were a truly Lost Decade for those of my age bracket – I know, I went through three layoffs in 10 years – and only NOW are we finally beginning to get a bit of our own back;
• Hollyweird and Clownipornia are finally, at long last, beginning to realise that Wokeism is a death-trap, though it has taken many a bloody beating with a clue-bat to get to this point;
• You’ll never believe how good LIndsay Lohan actually looks these days without makeup – and this is a chick who is the literal walking EPITOME of the Train-Smash Woman, she’s younger than me but looks 20 years older most of the time;

And some more from Dawn Pine:

• Nuclear non-proliferation treaties haven’t really worked since the halcyon days of St. Reagan of the Right, and they probably never will again, let’s be honest about that;
• Remember what I said about dick bosses up above? If you’re a boss and you give a quitting employee a thousand dollars in severance pay IN ONE-CENT COINS, then you’re both a genius AND a rectal thermometer;
• Classic piece from Cappy about how to make universal free adolt edjumuhcayshun a reality;
• With all the hoo-roo about Jan 6 being TEH WURSTEST THING EVARRRRR!!!!, it might be worth taking a moment to look back at the shitbaggery that the Leftoids get up to in the same vein;
• It’s hard to figure out whether this story about McDonald’s cutting medium and large servings of fries from its menus in Japan is due to brilliant marketing, epic stupidity, or just a lack of preparation;
• I’m generally against defunding the police, but you kind of see the point when some of them end up playing Pokemon Go to the point where they don’t actually DO THEIR DAMN JOBS;
• So some chick in China went on a blind date with a random dude, caught the Lung Pao Sicken, and ended up stuck IN HIS HOUSE for days on end – at least he was willing to cook, though apparently he was just boring otherwise;
• Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, about Silvio Berlusconi says ALPHA CHAD, including his taste in girlfriends;
• The Limeys are useless at a lot of things, but they are at least taking the lead in getting rid of some of the dumber failed anti-Coof measures;
• Here’s your “coolest Good Samaritan of the week” moment – it involves a guitar, PANTERA, and just general awesomeness;
• Everyone grieves at different speeds, but if your woman stops having sex with you after a bereavement, you might just need to give her all the space she needs – by moving on yourself;
• Remember that Great Polar Vortex some years ago when people chucked boiling water in the air and it came back down as snow? Some nutjobs did the same thing with spaghetti, and the results are pretty cool;
• Apparently, dope-smoking prevents damage from the Kung Flu – which means that all the potheads are laughing their asses off at us, or at least, they would be, if they weren’t stoned out of their minds and listening to Dark Side of the Moon on loop;

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The Neo-Tsar reacted with admirable speed, and an iron fist, against the suspected “colour revolution” in Kazakhstan:

That “revolution” came out of nowhere. Nobody really saw it coming. And the Russians noted, rightly, that there was something seriously fishy about it. So they sent in Collective Security Treaty Organisation (CSTO) peacekeepers to bang heads together and arrest the rioters.

Were they right to do so?

It’s hard to say. I’m genuinely not sure. But, given the way that the neoclowns are agitating so transparently, and so stupidly, for war with Russia over an indefensible outpost of their empire, it makes sense that they would attempt to open up a second front against the Russian Bear to distract them.

Kazakhstan is right there on Russia’s southern border. Kazakhs, like Azeris and Uzbeks and Dagestanis and Chechens, are quite common among the working class labourers found in blue-collar professions throughout Russia, particularly in the bigger cities. The two nations have strong economic and political ties. A destabilised Kazakh state is intolerable to Russia, and so they intervened swiftly to prevent that possibility.

They appear to have succeeded.

The neoclowns need to pay attention to that fact. If they continue to provoke the Russians and insist on war, THEY WILL GET IT, AND THEY WILL LOSE.

The Russians are not joking when they say that they will not tolerate NATO expansion to the east, up to their borders. NATO itself is an outdated construct designed for a purpose that no longer makes sense. The Russia of today is not an evil empire that wants to take over the world – it is a flourishing Christian moderate conservative nation that simply wants to be left in peace, while making money from its abundant natural and human resources.

The “evil empire” today is, in fact, NATO – led by the decaying zombified corpse of the Globohomo-led American government. And if they go up against Russia, they are likely to discover in a very big hurry the real difference between bluster and strength.

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History lessons of the week – this was one of the most momentous and consequential battles in all of history, actually:

Think about it. If Harald Hardraada hadn’t invaded England and fought Harold Godwinson at Stamford Bridge, would William the Conqueror have been able to capture England? That ONE single variable would have changed THE ENTIRE COURSE OF HUMAN HISTORY.

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Your Great Man of the Week comes via Dawn Pine, and concerns one of the greatest of the Founders – the guy whose mugshot is on the $100 bill:

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The Act Man offers an extremely long and comprehensive review of the HALO Infinite campaign:

And now let’s watch Mint Blitz do his thing:

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Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

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Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:

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Comedy hour:

Because they are sanctimonious fatass twats, that’s why.

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Pics, guns, girls, starting with some theme-relevant funnies:

DAMN RIGHT I AM!!!

Onward:

What exactly is this “10 Year Challenge” business? See, I’m really old and creaky, so I have no idea what the kiddies do these days for kicks. In my day, we would play “Snake” on our Nokia brick-phones, so I’m a bit behind the times.

Headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man is armed and dangerou:

Floriduh Woman, on the other hand, is clearly disarmed:

Your “Shit You Learned in Sunday School” moment of the week:

Your “Duck Dynasty” moment of the week:

Your “Eggstra Special” moment of the week:

Your… y’know what, I’m not even gonna try with this one:

Your “Tilting at Windmills” moment of the week:

Your “Entirely Justified Punishment” moment of the week:

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I forget who it was that made the comment, but he LRFotS MrUNIVAC was right – you can always tell the experienced gun-bunnies from the ditzes based on their trigger discipline. And ALL of those girls are proper gun-bunnies.

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Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

Cuteness overload, right there.

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

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Gym beast props go once again to John Haack:

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Wise Uncle Chael the American Gangster examines whether one former LHW UFC champion is right about another:

I do think that Jonny “Bones” Jones will come back. And I do think that DC is right – Ngannou or Gane are just MONSTERS, and that kind of power isn’t something that Bones can handle.

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Jesus loves knockouts:

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Shufflin’ keeps things groovin’:

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#SoldiersOfMetal

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And finally, after much messing about, here’s your Instathot to lower the tone of an already stupid day. This week’s offering is Yael Cohen Aris, age 25, from Tel Aviv, Israel. She says that she is a veteran of the IDF (which I believe), a programmer, (uh huh, SURE), and some sort of MediaTech entrepreneur. Her chief claim to fame is the fact that a sex toy company stole her identity and used it to craft a doll that looks exactly like her.

You know how a lot of you feel like your employer really screws you over? Well, that story puts a whole new GROSS spin on that idea.

Right, lads, that’s the show for today. Get back to work, whatever is left of it, and carry on wearily pushing that stupid boulder up the slope.

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