“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning break a leg

by | Apr 26, 2021 | Mondays | 4 comments

Buckle up, boys, it’s time to put on your Monday faces again. Fortunately, the Great Mondaydact Browser Mulcher is here to make life at least bearable on this most awful of days. And, honestly, y’all don’t have that much reason to complain, because as you’re about to see, life could be literally a Hell of a lot worse.

First, the good news. UFC 261 took place over the weekend, and apparently it was one hell of a great card stacked with tremendous fights and terrific moments:

Thug Rose is back, boys. And, while I generally dislike WMMA, I do think that Rose Namajunas will be a great champion. (Oddly enough, for a woman who is so good at planting leather on faces, she is also an excellent pianist.)

You have to watch Valentina Shevchenko’s post-fight interview as well. She’s pure class. The woman speaks THREE very different languages quite fluently – English, Russian, and Spanish. (I speak the first two – though my Russian is more for comedic effect than anything else – and I know how hard it is to speak properly.) And that’s ON TOP OF all of her other accomplishments.

RESPECT for her.

And now for the bad news: as good as the UFC 261 card was, it also saw one of the worst injuries you will ever see the Octagon – Chris Weidman snapped his tibia and fibula against Uriah Hall’s leg:

It’s just horrifying to watch. There is a certain grim irony in it, as well, given that it was Weidman who broke Anderson “The Spider” Silva (aka the GOAT) in exactly the same way, back in 2013.

I really feel awful for Chris. I thought he was a great champion and a real man of the people, but he has never been the same after Luke Rockhold took the belt from him. (Neither has Rockhold been the same, by the way – that fight took a tremendous toll on both men.) Weidman deserved far better than this, and it’s really hard to see how he can come back from this to fight again. He’s older than me, and there are days when I can barely move after a hard powerlifting workout.

Pray for Chris Weidman’s speedy recovery, brothers. That is one man who truly deserves your prayers.

And, just remember, as bad as your Monday is, Chris Weidman had to endure surgery last night and his career almost certainly is over – so there’s always someone out there suffering worse than you.

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, still has not figured out whether he will run in 2024 or not, but if he does, he will almost certainly win at least the Republicuck nomination:

I maintain my opinion: IT DOES NOT MATTER if he wins the Republican nomination. The Daemoncrats will do EVERYTHING they can to fix the election. They already know how to do it, and they know that the country’s major institutions will not stop them if they try.

The presstitues and whorenalists are firmly in their pocket. The courts won’t stand in their way. The State legislatures won’t stand up against them. The military won’t stop them.

America is an effective one-party state, at the Federal level, at least. Any dreams that my American friends have of their democracy are dead and gone. All you can do now is to await the inevitable Fall of the American Empire – and that will happen in our lifetimes.

#BasedTucker is based:

Mark Dice has some harsh words of realtalk for all of the Republicucks who think that “Caitlyn” Jenner would make a good “female” governor of Clownipornia:

The fact that “conservatives” all over the USA are cheering on a mentally-ill man attempting to run as a woman for the governorship of the most dysfunctional state in the Union, should tell you everything you need to know about “conservatism”.

Dave from Blue Collar Logic explains the Fake President’s true goal for his Maladministration:

And Jason points out what we’ve all known for some time now:

Bill Whittle offers up some cogent thoughts about the nature of the opposition that we face:

Good stuff from The Male Brain this week to get us all off to the right start. We begin with some great videos from JP Sears:

Good old John Stossel is here to explain ecoloon hypocrisy to us:

JoBlo Videos looks at the utter disaster that was John Carter:

As the video points out, there were multiple culprits – bad marketing, lousy actor unsuited to the part, and a total lack of understanding of what made the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novel so brilliant. I read and loved the book – no way in Hell that I will ever watch that movie on purpose.

ScreenRant unpacks the, uh, “thinking” behind Pirates 2 – or was it 3? I forget now:

Paul Ramsey compares and contrasts the outcomes of the “mostly peaceful” protests in Minneapolis, following the death of St. George of Fentanyl, and the actually mostly peaceful protests at the Capitol on Jan 6:

PJW doesn’t think much of the new style fashion tips of Harry, uh, “Styles”:

The lovely and charming Dr. Sam Bailey examines and explains how the flu transmits between people:

Lord Razor of the Fist Clan was on something of a ranting tear this week – first taking on the wrinkly old prune that is TWISTED SISTER’s Dee Snider:

And next decimating major league sportzball:

The Apostate Prophet posted up a 1hr45min (seriously) comprehensive takedown of the Islamic dawahgandist Gamma, Mimi Hijab, and it’s actually worth listening to in the background just for sheer comedy value:

Just remember, my friends – THAT IS THE BEST THAT THE MOHAMMEDANS HAVE IN THEIR ROSTER. And he’s an utter Gamma clown. Dude stands 6’5″ and has pretensions to be a philosopher, yet

Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms and Al-Fadi from CIRA International have a new series unpacking the latest evidence – well, as of December 2020 – that Muhammad was not the man that Islam would lik eyou to believe:

Dr. Frank Turek from Cross Examined explains why the Bible can be trusted:

Rev. Paul Washer has an extraordinarily powerful message for young Christian men everywhere:

China Uncensored looks at how the Commies in China wreck the fishing trade around the world:

America Uncovered asks whether the Forever War in Afghanistan will finally be coming to an end under the Fake President:

Jared Taylor from American Renaissance takes absolutely no prisoners in dissecting how Derek Chauvin could never have gotten a fair trial, and examines the aftermath of the Rodney King riots that created this climate of repression and oppression in the first place:

Terrence Popp has some SHTF tips for all of us:

Mat Best, on the other hand, has a rather different way of looking at the world:

Think Before You Sleep does not have a single kind word to say about entitled OnlyFans basic bitches who think that they’re running businesses, but then get really pissy when actual BUSINESSMEN try to set them straight about the realities of their fame-whoring:

A lot of us might be tempted to hate OnlyFans for what it represents. But it is merely a symptom, not a cause, of disgraceful female entitlement. The reality is that women are setting themselves up for severe disappointment, due to their own bad choices. And we should absolutely stay out of their way and let them make those choices.

Here’s an intriguing video from Joker over at Better Bachelor about Lolo Jones, the Olympian athlete who is saving herself for marriage – while comprehensively ruling out ALL of the men who might want to wife her up, and is now a virgin at 38:

You know the old adage about how “any woman can get laid, and any man can get married”? It’s quite true, and applies perfectly in this case. If, as a woman, you are entitled, bitchy, overbearing, difficult, unpleasant, and demanding, then you’ll turn off (almost) every man who might want to wife you up and put babies in you. It’s really just that simple.

A 40-year-old male virgin is, indeed, a sad and terrible thing. However, some – not all – of that problem is due to factors outside of his control. He could easily fix it, though, if he is willing to make some simple changes to his life.

But a 40-year-old female virgin, who isn’t a nun, can blame no one but herself. And she CANNOT fix the problem, because her currency is her youth and beauty – and it’s GONE.

Midnight’s Edge digs into the latest set of rumours about whether Queen Karen Kennedy is really out at Lucasfilm:

Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock is even less impressed by the latest woke wankery behind the next Indiana Jones film than we are:

The Drinker dissects one of those movies that we all love to hate:

Here’s the thing:

As an adaptation of the greatest military sci-fi novel of all time, Paul Verhoeven’s movie is an utter ABOMINATION. I hate the way that it took the powerful and brilliant core message of Robert A. Heinlein’s book, and totally corrupted and twisted it. And I hate that Dutch asshat for ruining the reputation of the original novel. I think so highly of that book that I can quote from it from memory, and re-read it once ever 3-4 months or so, just to remind myself how great it is and how powerful its lessons are.

But… if you stop thinking of the movie as an adaptation of the book, and instead start thinking of it as a sledgehammer-subtle satire on fascism and militarism… THEN it turns out to be actually rather good.

This video from TFCon, in which voice-acting legend Peter Cullen explains the origins of the voice for Optimus Prime, is guaranteed to please anyone who grew up in the 1980s:

When he speaks in the voice of Optimus Prime, it really sends a frisson down your spine of nostalgia and happiness. He channelled his brother’s voice through the character, and he absolutely nailed the essence of who and what Prime really is.

Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week concerns NASA’s planned space station, Lunar Gateway, due to launch in 2024:

NASA has shared a number of images showing what its upcoming Lunar Gateway space station will look like when it launches for the moon in 2024.

The agency said the orbiting laboratory would provide astronauts with a ‘home away from home’ during trips to the moon, and a staging post for lunar landings.  

The orbiting lab will have a four person capacity and will see NASA work with some existing International Space Station partners including Europe, Japan and Canada

Large parts of the station will be built by commercial partners and will have a docking port for the SpaceX Starship lunar lander that will ferry astronauts between the orbiting base and the surface of the moon. 

NASA also confirmed that the platform will help address one of the biggest concerns for space travel beyond Earth’s orbit by measuring radiation levels.

The radiation-detecting suite of research instruments is planned to launch inside the first module of the multipurpose international outpost, which will be in a highly elliptical seven-day orbit around the Moon. 

This, of course, presumes that the USA will still be a functioning country in 2024. At the current rate of decline, that is highly questionable.

The orbiting lab will have a four person capacity and will see NASA work with some existing International Space Station partners including Europe, Japan and Canada

Your long read of the week is from The Male Brain, and consists of the classic two-part series from our friend Cappy, concerning the ways in which governments have outsourced socialism.

From Part 1:

In looking at the horrifically appalling performance of countries where the state did take over the means of production, or even looking at the lackluster performance where democratically elected governments did, somebody must have realized that the government should get out of the business of business.  And instead of running a bakery, running an airline, running an oil company, or running a toothpaste factory, they would instead take a much more hands-off and mafioso approach;

You could certainly run and own your own business.
You could certainly own and operate your own firm.
You could certainly buy and own your property.

But you would owe the government protection money.  And that protection money adds up to on average 45% of all your income and property for the OECD (read – First World) countries.

You would think this was a bum deal.  In the land of the free and home of the brave, or certainly “the free world,” its people would reject this deal and fight for more.  But what’s brilliant about this is….


And not only did the vast swathes of sheeple buy it, they worked infinitely harder at slaving away for the state.

And from Part 2:

The tool the socialists use to accomplish this is called “the narrative” and you are all too familiar with it.

The narrative is the “story” or “epic” that is used to breathe life, vigor, emotion, and energy into socialist causes.  Merely arguing about economics, the merits of wealth redistribution, and the Laffer Curve is cold, callous, clinical, and boring (I never got laid wooing a date about the federal budget).  Additionally, it incentives no one to work for socialist causes, merely vote for them.  But if you add a story, especially one of injustice perpetuated by a “bad guy,” you ignite the fires of the masses and prompt them to spend thousands of times more energy promoting socialism than you had before.  And while the overall main narrative socialists use is mere “socialism” (i.e.-“free stuff”), there are specially crafted sub-narratives tailored to appeal to different people and thus buy their loyalty to the socialist ideology/religion/party.

The main, ole, standby classic is “class envy.”  This is the simplest narrative of socialism where you point out to the poor that they are poor, not because of…

having more kids than they could afford
majoring in stupid degrees they could never pay back
being a lazy good-for-nothing and never working
getting in trouble with the law

but because of the “evil rich.”  The “capitalist fat cats” undeservingly having more than you.  And not only do they have more than you, but they are actively conspiring to oppress you (because busy rich people have the time for that).  This is nothing but pure greed, jealousy, and envy, but it works as it plays to human nature. Most people’s pride cannot handle the fact they are largely responsible for their own situation, and are willing to become emotionally vested in an ideology that lies to excuses them otherwise.

Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:

The Neo-Tsar addressed his nation and people recently, and gave some extremely stark warnings to the West NOT to f**k with Russia:

Western leaders would be extremely well advised to take him seriously. The Russians have been at war almost continuously for a thousand years and they have no patience for those who threaten their country.

I tell you from personal experience that there is no better friend than a Russian. There ARE more dangerous foes, but not many, and most of them have teeth and claws.

History lessons of the week:

Your Great Man of the Week is Thomas-Alexandre Dumas, a remarkable half-White, half-Black man from Saint-Domingue who marched with Boney to Egypt and inspired the characters seen in his son’s novels (yes, THAT Alexandre Dumas – this guy was his dad):

Did you ever notice that when you try to recreate the most epic moments of the HALO trailers in the games, those attempts usually end very, very badly?:

Also, let us take some tme to remember the baddest badass who ever badassed his way through the HALO series – after John-117, obviously:

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:

Comedy hour:

Pics, guns, girls:

Liberal Logic 101:

Once you see this, you can never un-see it:

Apparently this is actually happening:


When a Clownipornian gets his ass SHOT by Texans – THAT’S when he knows he’s in Texas.

At least, that’s what I wish Texans would do. They really are far too nice down South.

Your “Bowling Alone” moment of the week:

Your “In a Pig’s Eye” moment of the week:

Your “Dark Irony” moment of the week:

Your “Nuts and Bolts” moment of the week:

Your “Unexpected Side Effects” moment of the week:

Your “Soylent Green Is Humans” moment of the week:

Your “Grammar Is Important” moment of the week:

Actually, knowing the British press, that was quite likely intentional.

And now for your “Media InConsistency” moment of the week:

That one HAD to come from Alabama.

And THAT one HAD to come from Floriduh.

That, on the other hand, was surely from Seattle.

Just… I can’t even…

That might explain why my sinuses are acting up – evidently I’m allergic to cat dander…

This next one will make you shit bricks:

Your Dog of the Week is the Perro de Presa Canario, or Canarian Mastiff:

What Brand of Food Should I Feed My Perro de Presa Canario ...

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

It’s been a long while since we’ve featured any gym idiots in one of these, so here’s a compilation of such morons – though, I warn you now, the first clip is genuinely absolutely horrifying:

I could not watch that first one. I’ve done some idiotic things in the gym in my life, but never anything that turned out THAT horribly. It is a truly gruesome injury – watch that through fingers, and DON’T DO THAT SHIT.

Gym beast props this week go to the REAL Beast, Eddie Hall:

Buakaw Beatdown of the Week:

Jesus loves knockouts, especially when you add serious SFX to the mix:

Shufflin’ keeps things groovin’


And now, to round things off (somewhat literally, in fact), here is your Instathot to get your week off to a bright start. Her name is Taylor Jevaux, age 25 (apparently), from North Hollywood, Clownipornia. She is known for lingerie and bikini modelling, and most recently for appearing in Playboy.https://www.instagram.com/p/CNPpKfXhkoZ/

You can tell she’s from North Hollyweird, actually. If you find pictures of her without all the warpaint on, you’ll see that she isn’t particularly attractive – she looks old FAR before her time.

Let’s just say that Hollyweird in particular, and Clownipornia in general, is not a good place to be, especially for young girls who need to be around something OTHER than the Hellmouth in order to be happy.

Anyway, that’s it for this week. Up off your ass – just because America’s justice system is completely borked, that doesn’t mean that you have any right to shirk.

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  1. MagisterG

    I do love the Monday Browser Crash from you, Didact, but this week’s InstaThot is Marilyn Manson with silicon breasts attached. And I say that with all the love in the world.

    • Didact

      Heh. I actually agree with you. When I saw her face, I was like, “uhhh… really?!?!? THIS chick was in Playboy?!? Clearly, standards have gone WAY down.” And that’s not even the half of it – you should see her without all the war-paint and spackle.

      That being said… the Monday Instathots are more of the train-smash, warning-sign, all-sizzle-no-steak variety. I save the GOOD stuff for Fridays. (And I’ll readily admit that I’ve made a mess out of a few of those.)

  2. Robert W

    John Carter: My wife and I enjoyed this movie and have probably watched it 5 or 6 times by now. The pacing is tight, the story holds water, the characters are useful to the story, and the combat is fun in a space opera way. I expect my kids will enjoy it. This JoBlo video explaining how the marketing and Disney buying Star Wars ruined it at the box office is illuminating, thank you for the share.

    Optimius Prime: Good story and then it did send shivers when does the Prime/Ironside dialog at the end. Remarkable voice.

    Global Humor Question: This dry bar with Kelly Terranova, he makes a joke:
    “The air place was so small…”
    Crowd: “How small was it?”
    “…That’s a uniquely American response, other places in the world don’t respond with that question!”

    Is that true? Have you noticed this in your globe-trotting comedy experiences?

    • Didact

      Is that true? Have you noticed this in your globe-trotting comedy experiences?

      Well, I’ll tell you this from my own experiences:

      I arrived in the US years ago to start my studies, and arrived there for the first time in 15 years. And the first thing that I noticed was how HUGE everything was.

      Seriously, everything in the USA – even in the liberal asshat corner of the Northeast – was so much bigger than everything I’d ever seen. The people, the food portions, the cars, the buildings – everything was just immense. It took me a good while to get used to the sheer size of everything.

      So, yes, the joke makes sense to me.


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