Via our beloved and dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) comes two bits of news that can only be described as “so incredibly stupid that they make the Death Star’s design flaws look sensible”.

The first one concerns the “established canonical fact” – in the current STAR WARS saga, anyway – that two of the characters in some cartoon show called Star Wars Resistance are gay:

On the 298th episode of Coffee With Kenobi, a Star Wars podcast, hosted by Dan Zehr, Zehr sat down to speak with Star Wars Resistance executive producers Athena Portillo, Justin Ridge, and Brand Auman and voice actors Bobby Moynihan (Orka), Suzie McGrath (Tam) and Christopher Sean (Kaz) during a recent press day for Star Wars Resistance Season 2.

During the interview, Ridge confirms to Zehr that Flix and Orka are “absolutely a gay couple.”

“I think it’s safe to say they’re an item, absolutely. They’re absolutely a gay couple, and we’re proud of that. We love Flix and Orka.”

Moynihan, who provides the voice of Orka, also commented that he had been preparing a response to questions regarding the characters’ orientation for “a year and a half.”

“I have had a sentence prepared for a year and a half. If someone would finally ask me, I would say, ‘All I can say is that when Flix says, ‘I love you,’ Orka says, ‘I know’…. They’re the cutest.”

Uh… oooookaaaaaayyyyy…

Let’s put aside, for the moment, the fact that the two characters involved aren’t even of the same species. One is something called a Gozzo, and the other is a Chadra-Fan. How, exactly, these two aliens are supposed to be in a romantic relationship with each other, is a matter of speculation for those with far more twisted and weird imaginations than I can muster.

Instead, let us focus on one very simple and plain fact:

The Devil Mouse HATES you.

The people behind this Satanic perversion of common sense and simple childish fantasy want you to bow down before their Dark Prince and worship him, and they will stop at nothing to make you do it.

They will go so far as to try to embed homophilic propaganda into a kid’s show to make their point.

This is not, by the way, the first time that this sort of bullshit has happened within the STAR WARS Expanded Universe. Does anyone remember the Legacy of the Force series, which was canonical before (((J. J. Abrams))) came along and threw the entire SWEU canon head-first into a woodchipper – which I approved of at the time, by the way – and in particular, the work of one Karen Traviss?

She was the author who wrote much of the SWEU material about the Mandalorians, their culture, and their language. And her vision of the Mandalorians was basically that of a warrior-culture that ignored race, species, and sexual orientation, and did in fact present a monogamous gay couple as canonical and normal.

It was not coincidental, by the way, that the Karen Traviss novels in the LotF series were among the worst of a bad bunch.

Now here is where it gets interesting.

The article that I linked to above is dated as of October 2, 2019. On August 15 this year, Star Wars Resistance was cancelled after the second season.

Why?

Well, probably because it was effing RETARDED:

You might ask what exactly was the point of all that woke virtue-signalling if the show involved simply got cancelled a full six weeks before those batshit crazy utterances noted above.

The reason is simple, of course. The point of Devil Mouse Wars is not to create things which are good, beautiful, and true. The point of it all is instead to ram a purely Satanic agenda right down your throat, whether you like it or not.

When you force yourself to think like a PsyOps officer planning a campaign of deliberate psychological destruction against an enemy, then you will begin to understand how these people think, and why they do these things. They hate you and everything you represent, so they want to demoralise you by destroying everything that you love.

They’re doing a frightfully good job of it, too, judging by the way that the Devil Mouse now wants to retcon the role of a certain Darth Sidious, aka Emperor Palpatine:

Whether or not Emperor Palpatine ever returns, there’s no denying that his empire’s greatest weakness was having HIM as a leader. Cruel, vindictive, hateful, and detested across the galaxy, it’s a miracle Emperor Palpatine took as long as he did to lose all power. But now, Star Wars has revealed the woman who was actually keeping the Empire together all those years, despite its incompetent leader: Imperial Minister Pitina Voor.

Every fan is going to want to know the woman born Pitina Mar-Mas Voor, twenty-five years before Sheev Palpatine began his rise to power. Married to a lame duck bureaucrat in the Empire’s ruling class of competing officers and governors, Pitina saw history repeating itself. That below all the bravado, intimidation, and posturing… the expansion of the Empire through brute force was killing it even as it spread (running out of both soldiers and money). And Pitina just might have led the Galactic Empire to total success, if not for once crucial weakness: Emperor Palpatine had absolutely no idea how to lead.

Riiiiiight…

Good golly Miss Molly, but these people are stupid. And evil. It is, in fact, possible to be both – just ask a Daemoncrat.

Obviously, in order to believe a single word of this planned storyline reboot, you basically have to believe that Sheev Palpatine, who eventually became the greatest Sith Lord of all time, was just an incompetent doofus and needed to be set straight by a woman at all times – despite the fact that he managed to hide his immense powers in the Force from everyone, including the Galaxy’s most highly trained and skilled Jedi Masters, for decades.

And also in spite of the fact that the Imperial fleet at the Battle of Endor completely lost cohesion and fighting spirit after the Emperor died, because his monumental Dark Side Force powers and his Sith Battle Meditation skills were suddenly removed from the equation.

Nope, suddenly ol’ Emperor Prune Face there was simply “cruel, vindictive, hateful”, and therefore a Very Bad Leader.

You know who else in actual history could have been described using those same adjectives?

Josef Stalin.

Say what you will about the man, but one thing that he absolutely was not, was an ineffective politician. He was a terrible leader in many ways, but his ability to keep control over the Soviet Empire was not one of his failings.

And we are seriously expected to believe that a character that was likely modeled upon good old Josef Djugashvili was really totally useless?

Yeah, sure. Go on then, pull the other one, that’s got bells on it.

I’ve been saying it since I saw Mickey Mouse Wars back in 2015: the STAR WARS franchise is dead, and no one in his right mind should waste a single extra dollar upon its products. Abandon it, let it die, and spend your time and money on more worthy things instead.

Once again, with feeling, boys: THE DEVIL MOUSE HATES YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR AND BELIEVE IN.

So, hate it right the heck back. Kill it off by starving it of your money and attention. Spend time with your children teaching them how to hunt, fish, and kick ass. That way they won’t grow up to be neck-bearded Gamma manboobz who bawl their eyes out all over their bitch-tits when they see a new Mickey Mouse Wars trailer.