The only way anyone will ever make Monday fun is by ensuring that every one of them features a bunch of liberals whining and shrieking on television about how much the God-Emperor is winning. And even then, that may not be enough.
Oh well, let’s get on with it, then.
We start off the week by mocking Millennials – which is always great sport. In this specific case, we let a dad from PommieBastardLand do it for us:
When writing a CV, job hunters often consider how to make themselves stand out for the right reasons.
But Lauren Moore’s father took another approach, after writing a brutal résumé for his daughter, including skills such as ‘not listening’ and ‘browsing Facebook‘.
The girl from Redcar, North Yorkshire, was also said to be good at ‘getting on her dad’s t*ts’, ‘f*cking everything up’ and ‘losing all documentation’.
But Lauren, 16, a GCSE pupil at Rye Hills School, saw the funny side and tweeted the CV with the comment: ‘Remind me not to let my dad do my CV for me.’
The girl, who lives in a £150,000 three-bedroom semi-detached house, was also listed as having the ‘skills and personal qualities’ of being ‘lazy’ and ‘late’.
She was also said to be ‘reluctant’, ‘ignorant’ and ‘rude’, ‘hates people’ and doesn’t do mornings, along with being a ‘typical 16-year-old’ who ‘couldn’t give a f*ck’
And as for references, her father listed a probation officer apparently called ‘Ben Dover’, along with the line: ‘Don’t contact him, he doesn’t give a f*ck either’.
That chap is getting a Dad of the Year mug, for sure. No, I’m not being sarcastic, I think any dad who can effectively mock his kid like that while still showing how much he cares, is a righteous dude.
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Speaking of idiotic Millennial trends – Dr. Gregory House vs Vegans. WHO YA GOT?!!!
Somewhat related, and very, very funny:
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Since Millennials love a good bit of irony:
That’s a good cartoon series, too, by the way.
Related items:
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For those of you interested in something thought-provoking, take a look at this segment of a multi-part series discussing the origins of the Koran and, by extension, Islam:
This is not news to me. I have pointed out repeatedly that the latest informed scholarly opinion about Islam and the Koran argues that the Koran was not, in fact, an Arabic religious text, but was originally actually a Syriac lectionary used by the heretical Ebionite sect of reform Judaism. And as I have pointed out a couple of times before, the Birmingham Koran represents one of the most powerful direct challenges to Islamic orthodoxy about the origins of their religion that has ever been posed.
The whole series is well worth watching on (((YouTube))) – at least until they decide to tighten up their censorship to avoid hurting the FEEEEEWINGS of Muslims in their hugboxes…
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If you are Christian, and you don’t mind a mildly irreverent take on some of the more colourful characters of your world now and then, you really ought to be reading The Babylon Bee. It’s like The Onion, except… well, funny.
Here’s a good recent one:
A new, redeveloped version of Tinder for Christians now will just match every single female user with Jesus.
Women using the app will be presented with various potential matches, but the service’s programming won’t allow them to match with anyone except Christ.
“More Christian women just need to spend a few months or years dating Jesus until they’re ready for a real, solid courtship,” said one executive at the app developer. “That’s why our app will only ever offer young women the opportunity to date Christ and find their identity in Him.”
Once women have dated Jesus for a sufficient period of time, as determined by the app’s spiritual character detector, they will be allowed to meet a potential mate for a period of courting before marriage.
Men will be matched with a local business in order to get a steady job until they are ready for the responsibility of leading a family.
Call me old-fashioned, but I actually think that’s pretty good.
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Evidently the Democreeps are crowing about the possibility of FINALLY getting impeach the God-Emperor. They obviously haven’t figured out that, in the unlikely event that they are successful, they get: PRESIDENT RACE “MIKE PENCE” BANNON.
And President Race Bannon is very, very unlikely to show any mercy to those who did such damage to his former boss.
Not, of course, that any of this is going to happen. What I have seen so far of the Manafort-Cohen train-wreck indicates that they were indicted and found guilty of crimes going back some ten years which have nothing whatsoever to do with the President’s campaign.
The allegations involving the President are actually quite precise. There is an open question about whether or not he specifically used campaign funds to pay off two slores with whom he had entirely consensual sex.
If he did – he is guilty of violations of campaign finance laws.
But he didn’t. The money was paid out from his own private accounts and had nothing to do with his campaign.
As for the fact that the God-Emperor had sex with gorgeous women – my answer to that is: “Yes. And?”
For heaven’s sake, he’s THE GOD-EMPEROR. The Chaddest of Chads who ever did Chad across the political stage in the 21st Century so far. The only Presidential contender for the last fifty years with bigger brass ones than Donald Trump was his illustrious predecessor, Saint Reagan of the Right.
(The late Sen. John McCain doesn’t count. There is no doubt that Sen. McCain, RIP, suffered terribly in Vietnam at the hands of his tormentors. But there are also some serious questions about his time there which have never been fully or even adequately answered – and, thanks to Sen. McCain’s own legislative efforts while in office, may never be answered.)
If Donald Trump wasn’t sleeping with beautiful women, there would be something seriously wrong with him. Have you seen his current wife???
At this point, the Leftoid, desperate for some form of moral victory, will inevitably raise the issue of double standards, about how other politicians (like, say, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, or Anthony Wiener, or Jonathan Edwards) get absolutely crucified for sleeping around but Donaldus Triumphus gets off (heh) without problems.
The answer to that is simple. Nobody with even half of a functioning brain – which is to say, more brain cells than any three liberals combined – has ever believed that Donald Trump is some sort of paragon of Christian moral virtue when it comes to his private life.
We know he has a colourful personal life. We know he has nailed some very beautiful women in the past. We know he loves the company of lovely ladies. We know he is very rich, charismatic, and successful with women.
So what?
Unlike Ted Cruz, he isn’t some Bible-thumping hypocrite. Unlike Anthony Wiener, he didn’t send pictures of his private parts to underage girls. And unlike Jonathan Edwards, he didn’t cheat on his wife who was dying of cancer with some floozy.
Oh, and let’s not forget William Jefferson “Slick Willy” Clinton. The President who got caught with his pecker in a fat chick’s mouth in the Oval Office, and then:
1) Started bombing Christian Serbs in support of Albanian Muslims;
2) Severely damaged relations with an already weakened Russia in the process;
3) Lied to the American people about it on national television;
4) Lied under oath in sworn depositions about Ms. Lewinsky and other affairs;
5) Was actually impeached in the House for what he did;
6) Managed to get his pecker out of that particular trap only thanks to the Senate;
7) Covered up a long history of sexual predation and abuse with the direct help of the MSM.
Compared to all of that, the God-Emperor is practically a Baptist church choir-boy.
President Trump is a deeply flawed man with a gigantic ego who has made many mistakes in his life. All of his supporters, and there are tens of millions of us, knew this when he started running for office.
We just don’t give a shit.
The God-Emperor is doing exactly what he promised us he would do. And we love him for it.
Until there is clear evidence that he colluded with anyone to rig the election (which there isn’t) or that he actually broke real laws (which so far there isn’t), then he is innocent until proven guilty.
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Related – pictures from Power Line:
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Few things start off the week better than gym idiots – beginning with this guy:
I’m not sure what is the worst thing about all of that: the use of the Smith Machine, the half-repping, the use of lots of weight plates just for effect (because those are 20s, not 45s, on the bar, so he has 7 20lb plates on either side, coming to 280lbs on the bar itself) – or, and I’m not making this up, the fact that the guy in that clip is dating Lindsay Lohan.
Ms. Lohan, as I may have pointed out before, is the kind of girl who, if she had as many pricks sticking out of her as she has had stuck in her, would look exactly like a porcupine.
Furthermore – the dude’s a multi-millionaire who loves flaunting his wealth all over Insty. (Not my idea of a role model, but hey, I’m weird, I tend to look up to conservative family men who like God, guns, and grits.) He could get any hot South Korean girl that he wants – and South Koreans are considered pretty much the most beautiful women in Asia, by Asians.
What’s he doing with a washed-up, used-up, 200mph Wall-crash victim like Ms. Lohan???
Oh well. On with it, then:
It is quite astonishing that nobody dies in this next clip:
It is difficult to pick the best bad moment of that whole thing – the skinny wuss trying to “squat” 365lbs higher than the Swiss Alps, the goodmorning that follows it, the spotter who is clearly trying to sodomise him when it all goes horribly wrong…
Or the fact that these idiots started the squat from an INCLINE PRESS STATION.
Yea, verily, such things are a mortal sin in the eyes of the Iron God.
Moving on – here is a new take on the “skullcrusher”:
… I’m pretty sure that is not how you are supposed to do that exercise.
There is a deadlift in this next video at around the 6-minute mark that is so horrifying, I may need physiotherapy simply from watching it:
But really, that whole video was one long horrible ordeal of utter bullshit “lifting”.
That last video was so bad it might have given you cancer. I have the cure here – true beasts lifting beastly weights:
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Despite the fact that my sister calls me a redneck – the brownest damn redneck you ever dun did lay y’all’s eyes on – I don’t actually generally like honky-tonk and country music. (There are exceptions.)
But here’s one twangy song that I actually do like:
Oh, don’t worry, there is a much ballsier metal version of this one:
(Somewhat ironically, that is one of the best songs on that entire album, War Eternal. And it’s a cover song. The album is very good, don’t get me wrong – but it is mostly full of melodic tear-off-your-face death metal. The slower, groove-heavy stuff is a very nice contrast.)
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Be not afraid, there is plenty more metal where that came from to get your Monday off to the right start:
(Saw those guys open up for AMON AMARTH and HUNTRESS once, in Cleveland back in about 2013, I think. They killed it.)
And now for some classics:
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DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE?!?
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Hot babe to get your blood pressure up a bit, given that it is Monday, after all – and we carry on with the Korean theme because, hey, Korean girls are hot:
2 Comments
Nice.
When nature meets plastic and the result is greater than the sum of it's parts.