“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning Master Chief motivators

by | Jan 22, 2024 | Mondays | 3 comments

Boy, this Monday sure as hell crept up on us pretty damn fast. I swear, it was just yesterday that I was in a different city, walking around and enjoying the mountain views – mostly because it WAS yesterday. Though, to be fair, I did have to do a runner earlier than I would have liked, for a variety of reasons.

And then I landed back home and realised the next day was MONDAY, which meant I had to do about three times the amount of stuff I normally do on a Sunday, in one-fifth the time.

Try doing the MAFF on that one – it’ll hurt your head.

Anyway, seeing as this is among the Mondayest Mondays that ever Mondayed, let us permit the Great Mondaydact Browser Killer to do its job.

We can have a whole lot of fun with AI these days – and one of the most fun things to do is to take the voice of Steve Downes, aka Master Chief, and use it to explain life in simple, pithy, Eastwood-esque ways. So let’s have at it, because we all need an equal dose of silly and serious on a Monday.

The Synthetic Soundsmith gets him to make you do the dishes:

And how to avoid procrastination:

JammingCat21 gets the Chief to tell you how to go on a date:

And The Fathers We Needed lets the Chief explain how to find inner resilience:


The Mighty God-Emperor

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, won an absolute BLOW-OUT in the Iowa caucuses last week – to the point where it is basically now a one-horse race:

Just to be clear – the Trumpasaurus IS NOT the “former President”. He is the LEGITIMATE President. The 2020 “Election” was fraudulent on almost every level, and everyone with even a modicum of sense knows it perfectly well.


On that note, Jason Siler explains why the Trumpinator, for all his MASSIVE flaws, is perhaps the last true American President:


#BasedTucker is Based


Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain has some great stuff to get us started this week. First up, The Babylon Bee explains how marketing tricks have made baby-murdering seem like a good idea:

Content Machine explains what the world would look like, if it were populated only by very specific types of people:

Insane Curiosity starts us off on a bit of a downer, by explaining how the dismal mathematics of chemical-reaction-based rocketry, and the “bow shock” of the Sun, will stop us from ever actually leaving the Solar System in anything like a reasonable amount of time:

Remember that video from last week about the 14 different games of Tic Tac Toe? Turns out, there might be only ONE:

This is kind of like that whole debate over how many different solutions to a Rubik’s Cube exist. In reality, there are only two possible states of a Rubik’s Cube – solved, and unsolved. There are lots of different strategies to crack a Rubik’s Cube (or so I imagine), but there are only two possible outcomes.


Mind-Expanding Drugs

Your General Knowledge Corner of the Week is from Dawn Pine, and come to us via Thoughty2, explaining why companies are hiding the realities of electrical batteries:

Batteries are subject to the laws of physics, just like everything else. They are not some magical solution to the world’s energy “problems” – and, in fact, we DO NOT have a “problem”. There is PLENTY of energy to go around – if only Western governments would pull heads out of arses and go build the infrastructure to get it, without all this Greeny-weenie ideology and stupidity getting in the way.


Death Smiles At Us All…

Your weekly dose of Stoicism comes to you from the works of Seneca:


Poli-Ticking Off

Mark Dice has no further patience for the silliness of pollsters in the wake of the God-Emperor’s epic victory:


The very-thoroughly-married couple at Redacted try to figure out why planes are suddenly no longer nearly as safe as they once were:

it is worth noting that, only a few weeks ago, Western whore-media were FULL of headlines about a spate of air accidents and incidents in Russia – claiming this was absolute PROOF that MUH SANKSHUNS!!!! were indeed WERKIN REEL GUDDER!!!!!! to shut down the Russian aviation industry. In reality, the Russians have a very long and deep history of superlative technical and engineering expertise in the field of civil (and of course military) aviation. They are simply having problems securing spare parts from time to time – though this situation is rapidly improving.

What the Russians DO NOT suffer from – because they do not suffer it, in the first place – is woke stupidity that puts the lives of ordinary people in serious danger. The Western aviation companies cannot make the same claim any longer.


Lord Razor of the Fist Clan analyses the CRUSHING the God-Emperor got up to in Iowa:


Rulings from the Bench

Judge Nap has had a very busy week, as usual. We start with Col. Douglas Macgregor, who views the ongoing escalation with the Gaza War with great trepidation:

LTC Tony Shaffer answers a rhetorical question – not that we really needed it:

Maj. Scott Ritter visited Crimea and the LDNR regions, and was very impressed by what he saw:

I particularly liked the bit when the Judge asked Scott and his Russian host to comment on Bill O’Reilly’s amazingly stupid remarks about how the Russian economy is “collapsing” – they all just cracked up on the other end of the line. O’Reilly always struck me as an arrogant and largely ignorant blowhard, and his most recent comments have certainly done nothing to change that impression.

Capt. Matthew Hoh examines whore-media failures to report on the Gaza crisis accurately:

Alistair Crooke laments the failures of American policy in avoiding a series of very obvious geopolitical traps around the world:

Larry Johnson & Ray McGovern try to explain why neoclowns are so stubborn, even in the face of repeated failures on virtually every front:

Prof. Jeffrey Sachs expands on the foreign policy failures of Brandon’s Fake Administration:

Prof. John Mearsheimer is not impressed by the Israeli attempts to defend their Gaza operation at the ICJ:


Дед Сварливый Говорит!

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily, about the so-called “methodology” used to rank the various Great Powers and their military forces:

Personally, I do not think those rankings are worth a bucket of spit. It is ABUNDANTLY clear from 2 years of warfare in Banderastan that American and Western military technologies, tactics, and doctrines are simply not suited for serious industrial-scale warfare. So how can the FUSA military possibly rank as the world’s best military, when we KNOW it cannot actually fight, never mind win, a serious war?!??!

The Khlearly Khollapsed Khalamitously Khatastrophic Khreat Khokholite Khumvee Khounteroffensive khas khracked khup. And it was a brainchild of WESTERN – specifically, American – military doctrine and planning. Those plans were so bad, and so completely detached from reality, that the Ukies abandoned them within 4 days of running into the teeth of the Russian defences in southern Zaporozh’ye.

That should give you some idea of how badly off the American military is right now – they cannot figure out how to crack a real minefield, which in the modern context cannot happen without air superiority and really dense artillery support. The Russians have both – the Ukrainians have neither.

And now, over half a million Ukrainians are dead and seriously wounded as a result of these failures.


Timeo Danaos Et Donna Ferentes…

The good gentlemen of The Duran try to wrap their heads around a truly INSANE scheme by the Ukies to float US$300B worth of war bonds, the underlying cash flows of which will depend on frozen (soon to be seized) Russian assets:

It is genuinely a bonkers idea. I cannot believe anyone would actually take it seriously. Yet, this is the absolute state of the West, where people cannot figure out basic economic realities anymore.


The Bald Truth

Brian Berletic of The New Atlas explains how Ukraine tries to substitute PR wins, and attacks on Russian civilians, for ACTUAL wins on the battlefield:


Bad Medicine

Dr. John Campbell and his friend Prof. Robert Clancy explain how “long COVID” symptoms are being exacerbated by the not-vaxx:

Also worth watching is MP Rt. Hon. Andrew Bridgen’s superb statement in front of the House of Commons recently, wherein he absolutely ripped to shreds the “science” behind the not-vaxx mandates in the UK:


Dr. Suneel Dhand tells you what medicine actually, y’know, WORKS:


Warriors of Faith

Tha Dizzle and Brother Rachid examine the Izzlamist idea of the Mahdi, which, like just about everything else in Izzlam, is nonsense:


Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms and Al-Fadi from CIRA International unpack the Birmingham Folios – often trotted out by Izzlamists as proof positive that they do, in fact, have a Koran dating back to the time of Uthman, when, in fact, they absolutely do not:


Christian Prince explains the sheer incoherence of the Koran, which is an incredibly muddled and very silly book:


Sam Shamoun continues to do God’s work in bringing the truth of the Gospel to Muslims:


Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp tells men the often bitter truths about marriage:

I get where he is coming from. He was married, served his country with honour and great distinction, and paid a terrible price in personal injuries and time away from his family for that service. His former wife ruined his entire existence, driving him nearly to the point of suicide. He has done his level best to be a good husband and father, and as such, he has earned the right to be highly negative about marriage in the modern Western context.

But, as I and others have pointed out many times, the modern MGTOW crowd is far too full of black-pilled types who have never taken any serious risks, and are too scared to do so. And those men preach a counsel of despair. This is to be resisted and fought wherever possible, with the basic truths of marriage as Biblically understood.


Joker from Better Bachelor does a long video explaining how men really do make the entire modern industrialised civilisation possible:


Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge reports on the serious threats to Disney’s financial position following yet another box office bomb:


Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock does his QAnon thing again with the Rey movie:


The Critical Drinker gives his list of great sequels that no one else seems to watch:


Reading Too Much Into Things

Your Science is F***ing Weird moment of the week is from The Male Brain, and explodes the idea that sharks need to move constantly just to avoid drowning:

Sharks of the family Carcharhinidae, including the gray reef shark Carcharhinus amblyrhynchos (Bleeker, 1856), are generally considered obligate ram ventilators (Dapp et al., 2015; Roberts, 1975; Tickler et al., 2017) with some known exceptions (e.g., lemon sharks). Obligate ram ventilating sharks must maintain forward motion to adequately ventilate their gills and meet respiratory needs (Carlson et al., 2004; Roberts, 1978) and this impacts physiology, metabolism, and energetic requirements (Carlson et al., 2004).

Various studies investigating the metabolic rates, energetics, and behavioral strategies of sharks are predicated on the understanding that the study species is an obligate ram ventilator that maintains continuous swimming and is incapable of periods of rest (e.g., Carlson & Parsons, 2001; Crear et al., 2019; Papastamatiou et al., 2018), therefore updating information on the respiratory modes of sharks is important in guiding future research. Additionally, advances in the study of sleep suggest that sleeping sharks (as opposed to resting) can be characterized by increased arousal thresholds (Kelly et al., 2021). The present report details observations of gray reef sharks resting alone and in groups at a tropical reef ledge, remaining unresponsive to divers. Findings thus update current understanding of the behavior and physiology of this species with implications for presumed obligate ram ventilation and sleep in Carcharhinidae.

Observations were made during routine research surveys at two locations. Initial and secondary observations were made at a remote offshore patch reef within the Amirantes Island group, Republic of Seychelles, roughly 12 km south of D’Arros Island (Site 1). Photographs were taken with a Canon 5D Mk4 with a Tokina 10–17 mm lens (first observation) and an iPhone 13 (secondary observations). Additional secondary observations were made at a reef site 40 km southwest of Mahe Island, Republic of Seychelles (Site 2). All observations were made by divers using standard scuba equipment.

Initial observations at Site 1 recorded three individuals, with at least one female (not possible to sex all individuals) resting in a group under an overhanging reef ledge at 29 m on September 24, 2022 at 15:30 (Figure 1). Sea temperature at this depth was 26°C. Secondary observations were also made at Site 1 on several occasions during April 2023, recording between one and four individuals resting. Sea temperature at the site was ~28–29°C. Secondary observations at Site 2 were made of a lone individual resting under a coral head at 25–30 m in early 2023 (L. Saddler, personal communication).

I’ve actually wondered about this for years. I have been to the really huge aquariums in Dubai and Singapore, and I have seen sharks just lying around and doing very little of anything – no swimming, just lying at the bottom of the tank, yet they were quite alive and breathing just fine, judging by the movements of their gills.


Your long read of the week is from former CIA analyst Dr. Philip Giraldi, who explains how and why the start to 2024 has been such an unmitigated disaster for the Brandon Maladministration and the Empire of Lies:

The first weeks in January also saw the planned release by the Justice Department of some papers relating to the investigations of Mossad agent Jeffrey Epstein and also the Seth Rich killing. It was a good thing expectations were low. The fourth batch of Epstein documents to be released contained numerous prominent names but much contradictory material and other allegations that could not be proven, though the claim that one of the Epstein girls was forced to have sex with Alan Dershowitz is too disgusting to even contemplate. In the Seth Rich case, the Democratic Party staffer who may have leaked material to Julien Assange and who possibly was killed under mysterious circumstances to silence him, the FBI had been ordered to turn over material related to his death of former DNC staffer Seth Rich to Attorney Ty Clevenger. But the Bureau has now stated that it does not intend to comply with the court order. Some reporters and other observers have expressed concerns about the situation, suspecting that the highly politicized FBI is defying the court order to protect the Democratic Party and more particularly the Clintons.

Finally, Mr. Biden and his friends have brought us more war. The Houthis of Yemen responded to Israel’s slaughter of the Gazans by attacking ships transiting the Red Sea bound for Israel or which were owned by Israelis. The United States and Britain responded by attacking Yemen and declaring the Houthis to be specially designated global terrorists, which has had the effect of increasing successful attacks on shipping. The developing regional instability has also led by various steps to missile and drone exchanges targeting various militant groups in Iran, and Pakistan, expanding the conflict between those two countries. Targets have also been hit in Iraq and Syria. In the case of the US action against Yemen, that was an unconstitutional decision by Biden to go to war without an imminent threat to the United States or a declaration of war by Congress. It comes on top of Biden’s previous two decisions to send hundreds of millions of dollars worth of weapons to Israel without the required Congressional review.

This was all going on in front of the backdrop of the United Nations’ International Court of Justice’s consideration of the overwhelming case that Israel is engaging in genocide in Gaza, where the court can call for an immediate cessation of the bombing and impose sanctions or a blockade if it determines that the case is made. If so, Israel will ignore the ruling, as it has done repeatedly in the past, and the Jewish state’s intransigence will be fully supported by Washington. On January 16th, there was a vote in the Senate over a resolution introduced by Senator Bernie Sanders requiring a Senate report on human rights violation by Israel. Only 11 Senators supported Sanders and the motion was tabled, where it will be allowed to die. On the same day, federal government employees staged a walkout to protest against Biden’s policy towards the genocide in Gaza. House Speaker Mike Johnson demanded that the protesters be fired. Two days later Netanyahu rejected a desperate Biden suggestion that there should emerge some form of Palestinian state after the Gaza military action by Israel is concluded – Bibi said there would be no Palestinian state and emphasized that he was “Capable of saying no to our friends.” Biden should have told him to “get stuffed” no more weapons and money Bibi, but as he is an invertebrate he has no backbone.

These are all bad decisions and they will produce very bad consequences, just like the Ukraine conflict has already done. And for a look ahead to what horrors might be coming it might be interesting to have some British input. Grant Shapps, who is Jewish, gave his first major speech since becoming Defense Secretary for the United Kingdom in the Summer of 2023, laying out the argument for a dramatic increase in spending for both deterrence and in preparations for eventual multiple wars. He warned that the world is in a “pre-war” phase, with conflict potentially breaking out within five years in key areas “against major and rising world powers.” He said “We find ourselves at the dawn of this new era — the Berlin Wall a distant memory — and we’ve come full circle, moving from a post-war to pre-war world. An age of idealism has been replaced by a period of hard-headed realism. Today our adversaries are busily rebuilding their barriers. Old enemies are reanimated. New foes are taking shape. Battle lines are being redrawn.” He was referring to Russia, China, Iran and North Korea, which presumably would be piled on top of the current Ukraine war as well as the support for Israel’s genocide backed by both Britain and the US, which no doubt will keep the Middle East and beyond in turmoil for some years to come. It is definitely something to not look forward to in 2024 and beyond!


Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:


MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOOOZHUN!!!

The Neo-Tsar summed up the Ukrainian failure to achieve peace in typically pithy fashion:


HALO Nation

Anyone who has ever played the original HALO: Combat Evolved, knows DAMNED WELL that the final level, The Maw, makes literally no sense:

Kammyshep explains who forged the Master Chief into the hyper-lethal weapon he eventually became:

And slayergod Remy aka MintBlitz does his thing, while pleading with 343i to keep HALO: MCC alive:


BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

Scholar’s Lore explains the Schism of Mars:


Oh No! Anyway…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:


Comedy Hour


Meme Warfare

We begin as usual with some dope memes from The Male Brain:

GEN Z, nuff said
Book of Psalms stops bullets. Always keep with you.
The sentiment now
Isn’t Russian roulette played with one bullet? Just asking for a friend…
Status quo for the past few decades
Done both.
Kleptocracy is not socialism, but it sucks as well
Where’s the budget proposal for that?
Can confirm, even before that
Oh you wanted consistency from the media?  Tough luck
“California chicks be like”
Did we mention Idiocracy IS a documentary?
Good point
Been there

[Install Linux. Join the Dark Side. We have cookies – and the ability to suppress them when browsing. – Didact]

Tough one
TRUE THAT!
Makes sense

TMB has also been catching up on his Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes, so here are some memes to go along with that:

Data is not unlimited
That face palm is one of star fleet finest 
Only it worked
Dude, a lot have been there before…
TRICORDER SELFIE!
On the other hand, almost no one dies

[Unless you’re Lt. Tasha Yar, in which case… welp, sorry, honey, you’re BONED. – Didact]

And now, as LRFotS RobertW would say:

If you know the origins of the word, “pharmacology” in Greek, this is actually quite a good word-play
Rather too late in a couple of cases I know of personally, ifyaknowhatimeanrite
Well yeah, but where is the evidence that he is actually going to be any good?
WE WUZ KANGZ ‘N’ SHIET!!!
“Wow, that’s a nasty case of Democrat you got there…”
So do woodchippers – which I prefer as a form of rapid treatment, to be honest
And, amazingly, the one with the least irritating cackle
I don’t think he ACTUALLY said that, but it isn’t far off… and then globalists wonder why ordinary people love him

Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:


REPS FOR JESUS!!!

Gym beast props this week go to Krzysztof Wierzbicki:

Yeah, he’s lifting sumo to achieve those crazy heavy weights, but still, that is DAMNED impressive.


Ass-Kicking of the Eight Limbs


They See Me Rollin’…


Palate Cleansers

Axe Me Anything

Fake News

We Are Japanese If You Please

Drumlines

Yes, Portnoy IS a beast. I’ve seen him play live three times (oh – wait, no, more like 5, if we count the appearances with ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA and other things), and I can heartily confirm, he is just an unbelievable drummer.

MOAR DAKKA!!!

Mighty Wings

Jump-Starts

She really is awfully cute…

Trippin’ Out

Ev’ry Day I’m Shufflin’

Gymborees

Gingervitis Treatments


Livin’ in the Land of the Metal Gods

Also Einstein: “I fear that someday people will post my pic on the Internet with bogus made-up quotations in Comic Sans font”

I have to admit, I am not impressed by either DRAGONFORCE or AMARANTHE these days, but maybe that is because I am getting old, and no longer appreciate the “virtues” of what is really effectively just teenybopper metal nowadays.

*A long series of grumpy old man noises follows*

Frankly, I’m not sure if IN FLAMES counts as “metal” anymore, but that is a debate for the comments section.

See also:


Rock Out With Your Glock Out


Thot Shot

And here is your Instathot to get the week off to the right start. This here is Katelyn Elizabeth, age 21, from Amerikhastan, and she is known primarily for being pretty while lip-syncing on something called “TikTok”. (See “grumpy old man noises” from above.) Precisely what she does beyond that, is rather difficult to figure out, but that is hardly our business.

OK, lads, that’s all for today. Off with you, back to work.

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3 Comments

  1. furor kek tonicus ( Dricus du Plessis is more African than Katt Williams )

    pick the nit – instead of linking a Redacted video, my page renders as a duplicate of the Mark Dice video from just previous. i believe this is the link you wanted
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt5HFs0j2Bw

    Reply
    • Didact

      Whoops. You are right – copypasta error on my part. That is fixed.

      Reply
  2. Robert W

    The bow shock problem of travel at interstellar speeds is a good one and it’s new to me. Thank you for posting so all my federation of planet dreams can crash on earth, instead of in space.

    Reply

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