Once again our good friend Dawn Pine returns with an excellent post about the importance of thinking ahead in life. He is quite right about this. His mantra of “you should have thought about it before” is an important one. You need to apply this to your life in order to stay ahead of the craziness of this world. If being a man is about ANYTHING, it is about anticipating danger and planning ahead for it. Do not simply rush blindly in and confront events as they happen – for then, events control you. Instead, sit back, take a breath, and think through the implications of what you will do. That way, YOU control the events. I can personally attest to the wisdom of these words – I have paid an EXTREMELY steep price for not thinking through some of my actions in the past, and doubtless will continue to do so well into the future. Learn from my friend and from my own rather poor choices, and avoid making the same mistakes.

As always, MANY thanks to Dawn Pine for his great contributions to this site. If you, as a reader, have a guest post idea that you’d like to see up here, email me and let me know. Do the same if you have a specific idea or topic you’d like me to discuss. And make sure you subscribe to the mailing list as well.

Aesop’s Fable – The Lion, The Wolf and the Fox

By way of an introduction, let us revisit a beloved children’s fable, which carries within it a deep moral lesson:

A Lion, infirm with age, lay sick in his den, and all the beasts of the forest came to inquire after his health with the exception of the Fox. The Wolf thought this was a good opportunity for paying off old scores against the Fox, so he called the attention of the Lion to his absence, and said, “You see, sire, that we have all come to see how you are except the Fox, who hasn’t come near you, and doesn’t care whether you are well or ill.” Just then the Fox came in and heard the last words of the Wolf. The Lion roared at him in deep displeasure, but he begged to be allowed to explain his absence, and said, “Not one of them cares for you so much as I, sire, for all the time I have been going round to the doctors and trying to find a cure for your illness.” “And may I ask if you have found one?” said the Lion. “I have, sire,” said the Fox, “and it is this: you must flay a Wolf and wrap yourself in his skin while it is still warm.” The Lion accordingly turned to the Wolf and struck him dead with one blow of his paw, in order to try the Fox’s prescription; but the Fox laughed and said to himself, “That’s what comes of stirring up ill-will.”

The Fable’s Lesson

The fable above could be called: “You should have thought about it before”. Yes, it is about not inflicting harm in order to advance your own cause, but it also directs our attention to an extension of the “Extreme Ownership” attitude.

As our host stated:

You are in charge. You have power. You get to make real decisions, often with nobody but the Lord Himself above you in any practical sense. You have the ability to decide the course of men’s lives. And you can be as good at your job as you want to be.

One of the things that you need to do, if you subscribe to that, is to do your best to adhere to the “You should have thought about it before” principle.

The Meaning Behind It All

Case in point. One of the girls that I’m seeing (no, not that one) has teenage kids who misbehave. No matter what she does, she has trouble controlling them. She sometimes asks my advice as I almost never have troubles like that with my kids. When I explain how tough love works, and how to treat your kids in a way that inspires respect (e.g. live up to your word, and punish swiftly), she says she can’t do that.

This is a classic case of “you should have thought about it before”. It seems that she and her ex almost never punished their kids. Good work (*eyerolls*). When I show this to her (gently), she shrugs and doesn’t know what to do about it. For her, it is too far gone. If only she have disciplined them in the past.

This is not about blowing my own horn as a great dad (although I know I am). This is about ignoring the consequences because it’s convenient.

Applying the Lesson

Writing the post reminded me of a great movie from 20 years ago – Heist. [The original, not the 2015 version – Didact]

That trailer doesn’t do the movie justice. David Mamet written and directed it, and we are talking about the guy who wrote Glengarry Glen Ross (the play), The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Untouchables, Wag the Dog, Spartan, and Hannibal (not the novel, the movie adaptation).

[He also once wrote a rather stinging op-ed in the Wall Street Journal (and in other places) about how he was no longer a brain-dead liberal. I remember emailing that to my EXTREMELY liberal aunt. Let’s just say that didn’t go down too well. Come to think of it, I imagine that Mamet’s career in Hollyweird probably took something of a swan-dive off a cliff after he wrote that. Good on him for doing it, though. – Didact]

Mamet wrote a character named Joe Moore, skillfully played by Gene Hackman, who thinks of everything. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. That guy is ready for whatever the world throws at him. It is almost impossible not to be impressed. Check out the following dialogue:

D.A. Freccia : You’re a pretty smart fella.

Joe Moore : Ah, not that smart.

D.A. Freccia : [If] you’re not that smart, how’d you figure it out?

Joe Moore : I tried to imagine a fella smarter than myself. Then I tried to think, “what would he do?”

Winning Through Common Bloody Sense

Can you be that guy? Well, maybe not entirely. However, adopting that state of mind is part of Extreme Ownership. Here are a few examples:

• You are an employee. Your company goes through bad times. You get the boot.
  You should have thought about it before – You need to have an FU fund, a good LinkedIn/Online presence and a network of friends and family that will be there for you. If you don’t – start now! [I recommend using a book called The 2-Hour Job Search by Steve Dalton to help you find a better job, too. – Didact]
• You date a girl. She goes batshit crazy on you, but she is hot. You let it slide a few times until she actually hurts you.
  You should have thought about it before – You must have a contingency plan (either leaving/downgrading her ass) to implement when it happens. How many times do you have to be told not to stick it in crazy before you’ll listen?
• You have a family that doesn’t respect you. They disregard you, spit on you or whatever.
  You should have thought about it before – Put your foot down before (or now), stand up to the opposition and don’t take their shit. If you have to, you do a “soft next” on them. Blood may be thicker than water, but it’s not worth the trouble if you end up covered in it.
• You are out of shape, have not worked out or done anything due to lockdown. Sat in front of the TV for months and now don’t have the energy.
  You should have thought about it before – exercise at home if you can’t go outside, stay fit and don’t touch those carbs as much.

All of those have one thing in common – common sense. We actually knew all of the potential outcome in advance. If a meteor fell on me while I was walking down the street, I’ll be the first to admit that “you should have thought about it before” is the wrong phrase to use. But let’s face it – that is not something you actually plan for.

If you do, then this post is not for you – since you have already prepared for everything. For the rest of us – in most cases, you should have known better.

Conclusions

Knowing better equals “You should have thought about it before“. In most cases in life it is a matter of allocating a few minute to think of the consequences and make even a small plan. Doing that is so simple, and may have a profound impact on your life. It’s risk management – you identify the risk and allocate a course of action to mitigate it.

I strongly suggest doing that. If you are quick on your feet, or slow to react – in both cases you need to think. Once you have a “plan” you will need to follow up on it. If it happens – you will need to act.