“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

How to recover from your failures in life

by | Nov 24, 2020 | The Agoge | 5 comments

Every one of us fails at some point or another. Failure is an inevitable and necessary part of life. Unless and until you experience the misery of failure, you cannot and will not enjoy the rewards of success. Pretty much all of us fear failure at some level. The sting of it is painful and humiliating, especially when that failure involves missing one’s own expectations or goals by a wide margin. However, the fact that you failed is not what matters. The manner in which you handle your failure is what matters. If you have failed in some significant way in your life recently, here is how to recover from your failures in life, and how to reorient yourself towards success.

Admit and Own Up

The first step to handling any failure is to admit to it, openly and immediately. Since I believe in leading by example, and since this article is of course part of the Didactic Agoge, honesty and consistency dictate that I own up to a major recent failure of my own. After all, I’ve been telling you guys for some time now that when you screw up, you ought to admit it like a man.

Those of you who are subscribed to my email list are aware that for the past few days, my friend Kyle Trouble and I have been pushing a product that we jointly created called Limitless Living. Both of us firmly believe that this product is perfect for those men who want to move out of the decadent and dying Western world to greener pastures. The full curriculum for the course is extensive and very detailed. It’s simply the best product out there for the price.

The First Presale: Fizzle, Not Sizzle

We went into that product with very high hopes. We wanted it to succeed, especially given all the work that we put into it. But, when the original presale went live earlier this year, we sold significantly less than we expected. Out of a total of 100 presale slots, we filled a little over 50. I believe two of them were my own readers, and the rest were Kyle’s.

Those weren’t the kinds of numbers that we expected, given everything that was going on at the time. We thought that we’d get a lot more in terms of both customers and revenues.

We then decided to have another sale later in the year, after the election in the USA. Our reasoning was that, no matter HOW things turned out, at least some folks would want out.

The Second Presale: Bellyflop Central

So we held a second sale, and we just got the results in. A total of four people signed up for the course after the second launch. And that is, by any reasonable standard, a disaster.

(I believe at least one of those sales came from one of my readers again. As always – if you bought into the course, many thanks indeed for your patronage. I would very much appreciate it if you could send me a review once you’ve finished looking through it all.)

Analyse What Went Wrong

in order to figure out how to recover from your failures in life, you must always ask yourself what went wrong, as a matter of immediate urgency.

Well, simply put, we probably weren’t marketing the course quite right. We probably weren’t looking at the correct target audience and niche in terms of customers from our mailing lists.

Does such a niche exist? It’s a good question.

Few places really put all of the advice together, with breakdowns of the costs and benefits involved, and with case studies, in video and audio format. Fewer still package it into one convenient bundle. That’s what we did.

And it didn’t work. You simply can’t escape the numbers. That product was a failure no matter how you look at it.

How to Recover from Your Failures in Life

When you invest a lot of blood, sweat, and toil into a product, and you see it flop, you naturally get pretty down and depressed. Both of us certainly were today. But in all honesty, at this exact moment, as I write these words, I’m actually feeling pretty chipper.

And that’s because I followed a simple series of steps designed to get myself back into the game and oriented toward success again.

I’m not saying that this is guaranteed to work. Given my own spectacular record of failure, you’d be well advised to take what I write with a mountain of salt. Nonetheless, here’s how to recover from your failures – even really spectacular ones – in your life and turn them around:

1. Face and Swallow the Humiliation

Failures are horribly depressing, and with good reason. When you screw up for the entire world to see, you really don’t have anywhere to run.

I had high hopes for our course. But the fact is that we failed to meet our own expectations, by a huge margin.

All of you are welcome to pile on at this point, especially those who received my emails trumpeting the product itself. I would like your honest feedback about what you saw and whether it appealed to you.

If it didn’t, then I need to fix that. And I own the failure of my marketing efforts and outreach.

2. Take Time Off and Away

Honestly, when I got the news this afternoon, I was not happy at all. I was tired and depressed by the failure of something into which I’d poured so much time and effort over the summer.

Indeed, I didn’t want to go to the gym today. The fact that today was “leg day”, so to speak, didn’t help. Every single time I go for leg day, my body always starts bitching and trying to convince me not to do it. Squats and deadlifts leave your entire body aching for days afterwards. I keep coming back to this classic BroScienceLife video because it is a perfect encapsulation of powerlifting:

But I went anyway, because I’ve internalised lifting iron to the point where it’s a literal habit for me. And it worked. Really, really well.

You might think that you can recover from your failures by lying on a shrink’s couch. I recover from my failures by lifting heavy shit and smashing my fists, elbows, knees, and shins into heavy bags.

I don’t recommend my methods to everyone. I’m weird. But it works for me.

When you screw up – first, admit to it, to yourself and the world. Next, step back and take a breather. Talk it through with someone. Go lift something heavy. Swing an axe at a tree. Smash the stuffing out of a heavy bag. Trust me – it all helps.

3. Focus on What Went Right

Here’s how I turned my thinking around from depressed to optimistic.

First, the profits generated on my side from the latest sale are more than enough to cover my site hosting expenses for ALL of my properties for next year. I’ve made enough from that one sale alone to keep doing this for another year.

That, alone, in light of Big Tech’s efforts to shut us down, is one little victory.

Second, I can take the material that I made and create my own course out of it pretty easily. It’s all there. I have to re-record a bunch of stuff, but I can repackage it as I wish.

Third, I can build a site around the course itself instead of selling it as a standalone idea. That’s been part of my plans for a long while, actually. I’ve wanted to create a travel website dedicated to Eastern Europe and other places for some time, but could never find the time or motivation. This will be a lot of work and effort – but I think it will be worthwhile.

And fourth, what little feedback I’ve seen so far, indicates that customers thought that the course was really solid.

4. Reset Expectations and Reorient

Once you’ve figured out what went wrong and what didn’t, start building on the things that you did correctly. Related to the inspiration for this post, if you didn’t market your product correctly – start doing some more research into your competition. Start looking at your niche objectively and see whether you actually have something that stands out.

Above all, don’t let yourself get worn down and discouraged. This is very hard advice to put into practice, because the entire world is constantly telling you that you aren’t good enough. The world wants you to give up and stop. If you just want to remain where you are, then you will always find excuses to do so.

But if you choose to keep going and keep building, eventually you’re going to find something that works.

Conclusion – Fail Faster

Failure sucks. It hurts. Trust me, I know – I’ve failed harder, more spectacularly, and at greater cost than many of you can possibly understand. Some of you may have lost jobs – I’ve lost every single job I ever held to layoffs or project cancellations. My track record of failure is impressive, if unenviable.

But as I’ve come to realise over the past 2.5 years or so, sometimes these things happen for a reason. These failures are useful information that you need to absorb and acknowledge in order to succeed in the future.

So don’t be too scared of failure. Yeah, failure is a stone-cold bitch when she smacks your head clean off, gut-punches you, and then kicks you in the ribs and the balls when you’re curled up on the floor. But the funny thing is that, no matter how many times she hits you, she can’t break you without your express permission.

So don’t give it to her. Get back up, dust yourself off, and get on with the next thing. That’s all there is to it.

And eventually, once you’ve failed enough times and learned enough lessons, you’ll start to succeed – BIGLY.

That, my friend, is how to recover from your failures in life – by refusing to stay down and stay broken.

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5 Comments

  1. Post Alley Crackpot

    What we need is a fun motivational song. 🙂

    [to the tune of “Under Pressure” by Queen & David Bowie]

    (intro)
    Mumbles all day
    Fumbles all day
    Who understands but babies?

    (verse 1)
    TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!
    It’s confounding me
    It’s confounding you
    What’s Joe Biden mean?
    TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!
    A debate with a clown
    A moderator with no clue
    Activists wearing sheets

    (bridge)
    But what about today?
    He still mumbles all day
    Oh yeaaaah
    He’s faking — it’s not OK

    (chorus)
    It’s the terror of knowing what Joe Biden’s about
    Wondering how he’ll torture everyone who’s figured him out
    Pray tomorrow gets him tired
    So he’ll mumble to his people
    And keep them off the streets

    (verse 2)
    Crazy’s not dumb
    But his daughter’s a son
    OK?
    A chip off the block, shit for brains but family adores
    Gives his dad a percentage suitable for whores
    What’s Burisma, baybay?
    Where’s your laptop, baybay?
    Who knows
    Except Joe
    Activists in sheets
    A distraction
    Activists in sheets
    Doped up sheep sing baa-baa

    (chorus)
    It’s the terror of knowing what Joe Biden’s about
    Wondering how he’ll torture everyone who’s figured him out
    Pray tomorrow gets him tired
    So he’ll mumble to his people
    And keep them off the streets

    (bridge)
    Earned it all like a bought man
    Built a fake empire but’s really a jerk
    Kept coming up with lies, but they’re so clichéd and worn
    Lie, lie, lie!
    Lying, lying, lying, lying, lying!
    Joe says TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE … while lying

    (verse 3)
    And few dare to say this hasn’t happened by chance
    Why can’t we accept this isn’t happenstance?
    Why can’t we stop lying, stop lying, stop lying
    Stop lying, stop lying, stop lying, stop lying, stop lying??

    (outro)
    Because fraud’s such a sordid way to get caught
    They want you to believe what you should not
    People in darkness (activists in sheets) doing violence at night
    And lies (activists in sheets) scare you to surrender your way
    Of defending yourselves
    This has not happened by chance
    This has not happened by chance
    These are sheep repeating TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!
    TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!
    TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!
    … UMAPRZURE!

    🙂

    Reply
  2. TechieDude

    FWIW, the price looked way to high for what is essentially a self help course. Maybe at about 1/3 the price, I’d throw a few shekels in to see what it’s about. But that’s a maybe.

    “I’ve lost every single job I ever held to layoffs or project cancellations”

    But you’ve never been fired for being an idiot, or doing something stupid?

    That’s hardly failure. Layoffs and cancellations are out of your control. The only failure is to not see it coming, or not scramble off the ship before it sinks beneath the waves. I’m in that boat now, for the second time in my career.

    Reply
    • Didact

      FWIW, the price looked way to high for what is essentially a self help course. Maybe at about 1/3 the price, I’d throw a few shekels in to see what it’s about. But that’s a maybe.

      That’s a fair point. It was certainly marketed as a self-help course, when in fact it’s quite a bit more than that.

      Kyle’s jaded view is that we were charging too high a price to “cheapskates” who kind of want everything just sort of done for them. I see where he’s coming from, but I also see that if the course isn’t marketed to the right segment at the right price, then of course it’s going to fail.

      But you’ve never been fired for being an idiot, or doing something stupid?

      Nope. Thankfully, my long list of personal failings does not include total incompetence or stupidity.

      The only failure is to not see it coming, or not scramble off the ship before it sinks beneath the waves.

      Well, that’s where we run into problems.

      First layoff, i saw coming from miles off. I could see that my group was due for the chopping block and I had started making moves toward the exits months earlier, but I struggled to find anything because this was the year right after the 2008 Crash. I had a good line on a role, but got laid off before I could jump. I got the gig eventually, though.

      I subsequently lost that gig in 2011, and that one I did NOT see coming. I definitely made my own life harder than it should have been because I was definitely not one to keep my mouth shut, and I did get a touch political in some of the emails that I sent around internally within my group at the time. But I got shot in a round of cost-cutting.

      I took about three months to find my next job, and I stayed in that company for 6.5 years. But I lost my job there because I wasn’t stealthy enough in making my moves for the exits. I was looking around at a pretty good role internally that required my manager at the time to sign off on a resoure-sharing agreement. He and his boss chose to interpret that as disloyalty. That, combined with the fact that my manager and I couldn’t stand each other, made the separation pretty inevitable.

      So I played a role in my own downfall in all of these cases. I chose a bad industry at a bad time and repeatedly chose bad firms to work for.

      Reply
      • Post Alley Crackpot

        “I chose a bad industry at a bad time and repeatedly chose bad firms to work for.”

        Every industry is a bad industry, and every firm is a bad firm.

        That’s because the only good that can come out of working for any of them is to become independent from them all.

        Many of the beta provider types that occupy middle levels of management are inherently easy to dislike if you have anything resembling an ambition to never become like them.

        TechieDude: “The only failure is to not see it coming, or not scramble off the ship before it sinks beneath the waves.”

        There was a game some of us would play at university that applies here.

        We’d sneak up on people and do this to them …

        BOOM YOU’RE DEAD
        AHAHAHAHAHAHA
        NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?

        And then the person who just got boom-shotted would have to come up with some completely new plan for life.

        Playing this game got several people to stop being whingers about their shitty degree programmes and to realise that earlier vision of their future life was born dead anyway.

        Oh, look at the glorious catastrophe that has resulted from the armada sinking in a sea of wishful thinking … but now we get to take control of events. 🙂

        Reply
  3. TechieDude

    “I chose a bad industry at a bad time” – Yeah. Like me with broadcast engineering in ’81, when they deregulated and jobs were tough anyhow.

    BigRainbowCorp swallowed up the company I work for. For the most part, the DIE program appears to be ornamentation. It conflicts with their passion for profit. We’ll see. And as my group is assimilated, I’m not so sure I’ll be employed long term. We’ll see. The gift I have is few, if any, do what I do. Which is astonishing.

    One thing looming though, is I’ll probably be moved down, from answering to an EVP to a director. A woman. There are three on my level, and with two I’d be out the door. The one I’m hearing seems to be OK, which will buy me time to flee, if I need, and if I can.

    Last time I was in a similar boat, only one with more holes in the hull, I worked for Lucent. My dilemma there was that although I knew full well the ship was sinking, and sinking fast, by taking a package (rather than fleeing), I’d bank some dough. Turns out, they whacked so many that in my state they had to pay my pay for two months before severance kicked in. So I didn’t even bother to look until the new year. It took me five months to score a gig at 1/2 what I was making before. So in retrospect, fleeing would’ve been the prudent move.

    Reply

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