Monday. Ugh.
Fortunately you can look forward to the Great Mondaydact Browser Crash to liven up your morning. So let’s start by giving you some motivation to get your butt out of bed and train like a beast – with the beastliest of all men.
The Spartans were, of course, badasses to top all badasses, even among a collection of ancient-world BAMFs like the Greek city-states. Anyone who disagrees is welcome to go lookup what the Athenian hoplite formations did to the first Persian invasion under Darius at the Battle of Marathon, or what the Thebans got up to when they wanted to do a little ass-kicking.
When you wanted asses kicked right good and hard, though, you got the Spartans to do it:
Now, it is possible to argue that the Spartans were actually a bit overrated as soldiers – and I have seen precisely this line of argument before:
The fact remains, though, that it was the Spartans who formed the most powerful military alliance in the ancient world for centuries, and it was the Spartans who won the Peloponnesian Wars (with considerable financial assistance from their erstwhile mortal enemies, the Persians) against Athens, and it was the Spartans who were the preeminent military power in Greece and nearby territories for over three hundred years.
It took the combined effects of various slave revolts – some of them quite severe, in fact – and several really bad military defeats to weaken the Spartans to the point where they were simply unable to be anything more than a regional power.
And as military technology advanced and the hoplite formations of the Spartans were eclipsed by use of mass by a gay Theban named Epaminondas, who handed Sparta its worst and most disastrous defeat at Leuctra, and shortly thereafter by the sarissae of the Macedonian phalanxes introduced by Philip II of Macedon and then his son Alexander the Great. The Spartans didn’t adapt or change their ancient methods of warfare, and as such, were left behind in history.
Yet it is to Sparta, not Athens, that we owe the concept of modern military culture. And it is to Sparta, not Athens, that we owe the concept of checks and balances on government power. The Great Rhetra, their constitution, supposedly handed to them by Lycurgus the Law-Giver, was centuries ahead of its time and provided for a unique balance between monarch, oligarch, and commoner, with rights, privileges, and limitations spelled out very clearly for each part of the body politic.
But it wasn’t just their remarkably enlightened constitution, or their militaristic society and customs that made the Spartans so unusual. It was also their emphasis on brief, pithy insults and one-liners, which could easily humble any overconfident enemy and made the Spartans past masters of dry, punchy rhetoric:
And of course, while we’re talking about the Spartans, we cannot possibly go without a few videos from Kings and Generals:
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While we’re on the subject of the badasses who popularised the phrase, MOLON LABE!!!, let’s take a look at how stupid the entire idea of gun control is:
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#BasedTucker is very #based:
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His Most Noble, August, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, has sired good sons – and his eldest, Don Jr., appears to be considerably less civil, and less of a civic nationalist, than his illustrious father:
If you look at the younger Donaldus Triumphus through the lens of the Socio-Sexual Hierarchy of our beloved and dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH), you will quickly see that he is very obviously a high Bravo who has the potential to become a real Alpha. He will probably never become a true Ur-Alpha like his legendary father, but he will get close.
And then there is the youngest of the Trump progeny, Master Barron Trump. Both he and his step-brother share a number of traits, including tremendous genetics from both of their parents. It will be fascinating to see where the Trump dynasty goes; I would be willing to bet money that Don Jr. will probably be President at some point in the next 20 years. And when – not if, but when – the USA finally breaks down into civil war and anarchy and shatters into a number of different nations, I expect that Barron Trump might well become the leader of one of those new entities.
Now all of that is, of course, assuming that Don Jr. can get over his sillier civnat impulses and embrace a proper nationalist position. And it assumes that Barron Trump will survive the relentless attempts by the Left to bully and intimidate him.
But I’d say that both of the Trump boys are getting there. These men have been forged in the furnace of a culture war that is rapidly turning very hot. And they are both made up of excellent base materials.
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Men are definitely funnier than women overall:
I would go so far as to argue that men do EVERYTHING better than women, including cooking, with the exceptions of: household chores, ultra-long-distance swimming, childbirth (obviously), and child-rearing before the young ‘uns get to the age of about 7.
So there.
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The Daemoncrats have no case against the God-Emperor, and they know it:
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The Neo-Tsar continues to do a superb job of making journalists look stupid (though these days that isn’t actually very difficult):
I say this as someone who has lived in the USA for 12 years and who has spent quite a lot of time in Russia and around Russians – there is NOTHING to be gained from mutual antagonism and hostility between the two powers.
Russia is a very distinct and different culture to that of the West. They are only partly European; their religious traditions in particular make them a distinctly separate entity, because they follow the Orthodox version of Christianity and have little in common with Catholic or Protestant views on the Living Word.
They will never be best buddies with the Europeans or Americans. Their culture is simply too different and their memories of invasions by Western powers through the western borders of the Russian empire run far too deep.
But they are a stoic, stolid, upstanding, decent, and strong people with a deep appreciation of their own history and culture. (It also helps that their women are the most beautiful and feminine anywhere – I would pit their best women against Latin America’s best any day of the week.)
These are people that Americans can and should try to understand, communicate with, and support. They will never be your best friends, but there is nothing stopping Russian and American peoples from being cordial with each other, and the nations from being distant but respectful trading partners and sharing intelligence and assets with each other in the real wars against the true enemies of Western and Christian civilisation.
Here’s a bit more of the Neo-Tsar doing the same thing to Megyn Kelly – and boy is it fun to watch:
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Related – look what happens when the Neo-Tsar takes on a mincing nancy-boy poofter married to a granny who acts as his beard:
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Yes, all right, I know the Neo-Tsar is basically taking over this Monday’s clips, but I couldn’t resist adding this one too:
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Abigail Shrier makes an excellent and cogent series of points about positive masculinity and how it saves lives:
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Mark Dice has really slimmed down over the past few years, and his presentation in front of the mainstream media has improved dramatically. He’s actually very good when he wants to be serious:
And he is right to be in a serious mood, because this world is getting seriously messed up:
To precisely nobody’s surprise, Jeffrey Epstein’s death was quite obviously not accidental and it’s absolutely ridiculous that the media keeps trying to make us believe that it was. And, of course, both Amy Robach and ABC News – one of the propaganda arms of the Devil Mouse – issued anodyne denials and retractions about what Ms Robach said in her hot mike moment.
But none of that changes the fact that everything about Epstein’s death absolutely STINKS of foul play.
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Paul Ramsey absolutely went off on Richard Spencer the other day, and it was glorious to watch (NSFW due to language, keep the volume down):
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The Big Bang Theory stopped being funny about halfway through Season 6 – and actually, if you go back and watch the episodes, you’ll find that its humour got rather weak pretty fast after the first three seasons. But, from time to time, it did manage to come up with a few great zingers:
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Looks like that live-action remake of The Lion King sucked about as much as we expected:
I didn’t much like the original growing up, but that was only because my sister, who was quite little at the time, insisted on watching it EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY during the summer of 1995. I got so sick of it after a month that I still have bad memories of those stupid songs.
Funny thing is, though, that my sister, who obviously loved the original, flatly refused to watch the remake too – and not because she hates the Devil Mouse like I do, but because she just wasn’t interested in seeing a bad rehash of a great childhood memory.
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This new documentary about the highly underrated classic comedy Galaxy Quest, on the other hand, looks like a lot of fun:
That film was hysterically funny because it made fun of nerds without ever pandering to anyone. Its mockery was gentle, affectionate, and respectful. Even Patrick Stewart – Captain Jean-Luc Picard himself – realised very quickly that the film was actually a great parody of Star Trek and praised it for being really respectful of sci-fi fans and nerds.
If you haven’t seen it, the movie is available on Netflix these days (I think). And it also happens to be one of the late, great Alan Rickman’s best performances.
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El Razorfist watched Terminator: Dark Fate so that you didn’t have to, and much like our drunken Glaswegian friend from last week, he thought it was absolute shite:
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Longtime readers know full well that I hold both the current STAR WARS sequels and the previous batch of STAR WARS Expanded Universe material in complete contempt, and it’s not hard to see why:
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Your long read of the week was sent to me by The Male Brain, and consists of a classic post by our friend the good Captain on the way in which the feminist movement has become undone through the simple division of labour:
The largest single factor in US economics, as well as the economics of the developed world in the past 50 years has been hands down the migration of women into the labor force.
No argument about it. Cannot be debated. Cannot be questioned. Just go and look at the data yourself.
It shouldn’t be surprising since allowing the better half of society to enter college, work, establish careers, etc., effectively doubles your labor force, doubles your intellectual capital, and therefore doubles your ability to produce wealth. Therefore the majority, or at least the plurality of increases in standards of living in the past 50 years can be contributed to women working.
It may also go a long way in explaining why Islamic countries or just countries in general that have their women subservient to men suffer such low standards of living, since they effectively bar half their potential labor force from working, severely handicapping their country’s ability to produce wealth.
Regardless, for all the economic benefits to women entering the labor force there are some drawbacks.
Notably with women out of the house, the responsibility of child rearing has not been outsourced to the father (oh, no, we’re too proud for that), but rather outsourced to the state. It is no coincidence that spending on public education has not only exploded, but expanded to cover things like feeding kids (lunch boxes are antiques now with taxpayer-financed breakfast and lunch served to the students), pre-school, after school programs, tutoring, counseling, teenage pregnancy programs, sex education, etc., as more and more women have entered the labor force, effectively turning the Department of Education to the Department of Baby Sitting and Child Rearing.
Also, the explosion in the use of day care facilities. A fact that I particularly detest for, again, it would seem to me that if you had the child and loved the child, you would want to spend those precious few moments with them in childhood. Alas, I must be too damn idealistic or old school for it seems to me children are now no different than an SUV, a huge diamond ring, a flat panel TV etc., ie- a “status” symbol, an “item” to have that goes well with the drapes, and sadly something that is no more loved than one’s granite kitchen counter tops. Ergo, it’s like a dog, you can leave “it” at the kennel. I can think of no other explanation why somebody would use day care.
An additional drawback to women’s entrance into the labor market, though I have not scientific evidence for it, is that I would speculate a lot of the “social” problems children have where they’re walking into schools, shooting their peers, doing drugs, putting “bodily fluids” in cafeteria salad dressing, waving gang signs at each and just in general acting like immature, disrespectful feral youth comes from the fact there is not a stable traditional “nuclear” family around. And as these kids age and become “adults” no doubt the crime rate will increase as these “Lord of the Flies” adults enter society, as it has.
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I’m calling it right now – the next Bond movie is going to be the biggest bomb in the franchise’s history:
It has been billed as the most politically correct James Bond movie yet – but No Time To Die has not entirely done away with Benny Hill-style innuendo, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.
In one scene, Daniel Craig’s suave secret agent is struggling to get a seaplane airborne as his passenger cries out ‘Get it up! Get it up!’ – prompting the wry reply: ‘I’ve never had a problem with that before.’
Fans who have come to love such doubles entendres might be surprised that they have survived the franchise’s ‘woke’ makeover that has banned outdated sexism and introduced strong female characters, such as Lashana Lynch as another top British secret agent.
However, plans for her to become the first black, female 007 – taking over the codename from Craig’s Bond after he retires – could be scrapped after a social-media backlash. Sources say she is now likely to get another agent number, 001.
Earlier this year, this newspaper revealed that Fleabag creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge had been brought in as a scriptwriter to ensure the blockbuster was appropriate for the #MeToo era.
And now we have learned more secrets from the £200 million movie, due out in April.
The script has Bond marrying Dr Madeleine Swann – the psychologist played by French actress Lea Seydoux who first appeared in 2015’s Spectre. But she refuses to take her new husband’s name.
The morning after their wedding, Bond wakes sleepy-eyed and says ‘Good morning, Mrs Bond’, to which she replies: ‘Don’t you mean Ms Swann?’
A source said: ‘The phrase ‘Bond girl’ was outlawed from the set. The women in this film are all strong, brave and fiercely independent. These women are not helpless girls who jump into bed with Bond – their reactions are very different from what people might think.
‘Bond tries his usual seduction techniques but they fail miserably. It’s very funny.’
You know what else is not funny? Woke politics.
James Bond has effectively become a completely neutered pussy. And this movie is simply going to suck.
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Also from The Male Brain, here is a list of six things that both men and women – primarily women, though – can and should do in order to be happier in their relationships and marriages.
An acquaintance recently opened up about her strained marriage. I told her about a fabulous book entitled The Empowered Wife, by Laura Doyle. Doyle’s personal story sounded similar to my friend’s and was the premise of her book. Despite being stuck in a strained marriage, Doyle and her husband stopped attending therapy after they saw their therapist berating her own husband one evening in public.
Through interviews, Doyle uncovered the “secrets” of thousands of happily married couples who had been together for at least 15 years. She discovered six common threads which she calls intimacy skills that can help salvage most marriages, and make a good marriage even better.
I won’t list them all, as this compilation has already grown to ridiculous lengths, but it’s worth reading through in full.
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Good onya, Hoges:
Related – this is what happens when an Aussie ocker brings a knife to a knife fight:
My training partner for green belt, and brother from another, very white, mother, and I used to crack each other up all the time by quoting that line back and forth. Good times, good times…
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Viggo Mortensen is a flaming liberal who desperately needs a bandage to staunch his bleeding heart, but he is undoubtedly a phenomenal actor and a very, very intelligent man:
If your only experience with his acting capabilities is from his role as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings film adaptations (in which, by the way, he was a badass), then you seriously need to check out some of his lesser-known works.
Eastern Promises is one of those films:
And then there is American Yakuza:
Unlike most hypocritical Hollyweird liberaltards, Mr. Mortensen is also apparently one of the nicest, humblest, most down-to-Earth people that you will ever meet. I hear that he hunts his own meat and is such a method actor that when he was studying swordplay for the role of Aragorn, he eventually got to the point where he could be considered a highly skilled swordsman and fighter.
Liberal he might be, but you have to respect the man’s work ethic and dedication to his craft.
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This new Netflix film looks like someone took the worst bits of Game of Thrones and stuck them into a blender with World of Warcraft:
I mean… Michael Fassbender as Geralt, I could believe. But Henry Cavill?!? The dude has all of the acting charisma and chops of a block of wood.
Still and all, I do hope that this film turns out well, as the trailer does show some promise. It looks like a confusing mess overall, but the games are (I’m told – never played them myself) very good, and while I’ve never even so much as seen the books myself, some folks like them.
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The trailer for Diablo IV looks, as Millennials would say, amazeballs:
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Comedy suggestions this week come via The Male Brain, and feature the late, great George Carlin:
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Further comedy from PommieBastardLand:
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Wazzocks gonna wazzock:
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Don’t propose to a Millennial woman:
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Not everybody likes the UFC’s Dana White, and it’s easy to see why. But, love him or hate him, the dude has had a CRAZY life:
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OK, seriously, whoever it is that is behind these hilarious MetalTrump mashups, deserves a Nobel Prize for them.
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Pics, guns, girls:
It appears that absolutely nobody outside of the (((media))) – and not even most of them – believes that Jeffrey Epstein killed himself:
I call bullshit on that one.
Headlines time, and surprisingly Floriduh has kept very quiet for some reason:
DON’T mess with Floriduh Woman when she needs a little sugar…
Your “No Shit, Sherlock?!?” headline of the week:
Your “OMFG KILL THEM KILL THEM WITH FIRE!!!” headline of the week:
Your “Bloodhound Gang” moment of the week:
Your “Team Edward vs Team Jacob” moment of the week:
That is a surprisingly good rendition of our beloved and dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH), Voxemort the Malevolent.
THERE IS A GOD, AND HE LOVES US VERY MUCH!!!
The hell it is. The Bear Cavalry are much more dangerous:
Pretty much, because as far as dogs are concerned, that’s the sound of BACON!!!
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Your dog of the week is the Neapolitan Mastiff:
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Your gym idiots segment is courtesy of James Linker of Shredded Sports Science, who absolutely shreds (pun intended) a bunch of idiotic poseurs from the sick, lame, and dying YouTube/Instagram fitness industry:
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Gym beasts time, and they don’t get any beastlier than Mariusz Pudzianowski, five-time World’s Strongest Man:
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Here’s a martial arts monster for you who really, truly WAS a monster – Semmy Schilt, who stands at 7 feet tall and won the 2009 K-1 Grand Prix title by basically destroying three opponents in three rounds in ridiculously little time.
If you watch his punches and kicks, it seems like he’s striking with very little power – but then you watch what his strikes to do his opponents, and you realise that the dude is built like an oak tree and his kicks therefore hit like baseball bats:
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It’s important to remember that in fighting, size and bulk do not always guarantee victory. Back before Conor “The Notorious” Macgregor went completely off the rails and became essentially a whiskey salesman with a big mouth, he used to say that “precision beats power and timing beats speed”. Nowhere is this more evident than in the legendary fight between Mighty Mo and Koklai Kaennorsing:
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Your Buakaw Beatdown of the Week in the form of a compilation:
Eh, what the hell, why not a double feature – after all, the only way to make the Monday blues go away, is to scare the shit out of them.
And NOTHING is more terrifying than the prospect of facing the living embodiment of fear and death itself in the ring, Buakaw Banchamek:
In that last fight, the guy literally punched Buakaw and dislocated his shoulder. That’s what happens when you punch a block of living granite – right after it throws you to the ground.
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#BookOfHeavyMetal
Our first suggestion comes from The Male Brain again, and is an Israeli band named ORPHANED LAND. I’ve featured a video or two of theirs before. They are really rather good:
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And finally here’s your Instathot. As promised, it’s the other half of the breast buddies who flashed an MLB game the other day and got banned indefinitely. Her name is Julia Rose, and her thot credentials are absolutely impeccable – she gets a straight-up TQ of 10, no ifs, ands, or butts (heh). She is the founder of some sort of online magazine called Shagmag (yeah, seriously, no BS), she likes to take her clothes off even more than her friend Lauren Summer from last week, and she loves hand-bras.
Which, I am sure you will agree, are a seriously underrated fashion accessory.
That’s it for this week, boys. Don’t let the Shapirus and neoclowns of this world tell you what to think or do, take inspiration from them badasses among badasses, the Spartans, and now get out there and crush it.
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1 Comment
Well, from what I can see, at least the Witcher doesn't seem to have Morgan Freeman in it, which is a promising sign.