Mondays are a waste of time, space, energy, and of course human happiness. Fortunately, while there is nothing much that we can do about the inevitable passage and decay of time, we can try to put ourselves in a better frame of mind.
Now, I don’t know about y’all, but one thing that always makes me feel better, especially on a Monday, is making fun of asshats in the gym who insist on doing CURLS in the SQUAT RACK.
As I have often stated before, when the world finally comes to its senses and appoints me as Supreme Dread Lord and Grand Poobah, my first act will be to make curling in the squat rack punishable by a swift kick in the balls, OR a Taser applied directly to the same area, followed immediately by tossing the offender out of the gym onto concrete – face first.
Repeat offenders will simply be placed under arrest for gym crimes against humanity. And, yes, that will be a new branch of law.
Am I not kind?
Until such a happy day dawns, we must content ourselves with the following memes and pictures to soothe the pain of watching some numbnuts clog up a valuable squat rack with his stupid bro-curls:
(Not if she’s wearing gym gloves, it’s not. Women who wear those things aren’t doing themselves any favours.)
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What does a real Commander-in-Chief, who inspires true loyalty from the warriors who execute his commands, look like?
He looks like the God-Emperor of Mankind:
President Trump ordered the Navy to rescind achievement medals awarded to prosecutors involved in the case against Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher, who was found not guilty of war crimes in a trial earlier this month.
“The Prosecutors who lost the case against SEAL Eddie Gallagher (who I released from solitary confinement so he could fight his case properly), were ridiculously given a Navy Achievement Medal,” Trump tweeted Wednesday.
“Not only did they lose the case, they had difficulty with respect to information that may have been obtained from opposing lawyers and for giving immunity in a totally incompetent fashion,” he added. “I have directed the Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer & Chief of Naval Operations John Richardson to immediately withdraw and rescind the awards.”
“I am very happy for Eddie Gallagher and his family!” he concluded.
Gallagher, 40, was found not guilty of six charges related to murder of a wounded Islamic State (ISIS) fighter and shooting at innocent civilians during a 2017 deployment to Iraq. He was found guilty on one count related to taking a photo with an ISIS corpse.
The case against Gallagher was based on the testimony of a small group of junior Navy SEALs who had deployed with Gallagher and found him too abrasive and hard-charging.
However, the case began to unravel even before it went to trial and became a high-profile embarrassment to the Navy and the SEALs. Prosecutors were caught using spyware on defense attorneys and a journalist, and were removed from the case weeks before the trial was to begin.
During the trial, another Navy SEAL admitted on the stand to killing the ISIS fighter by asphyxiation. The prosecution, angered, accused their own witness of falsely admitting to the murder. However, the defense said prosecutors simply never asked how the ISIS fighter actually died, in their desire to pin the murder on Gallagher.
Other embarrassing details emerged, including that the small group of SEALs referred to themselves as the “sewing circle” and maintained a rooftop bar on deployment.
Despite losing the case, four prosecutors and four legal support staffers on the case received Navy Achievement Medals for “superb results” and “expert litigation” during a ceremony a week later, according to reports.
I’m guessing that the real warriors in the SEAL teams just got a huge shot of confidence after hearing about that. Which is in fact what warriors need. They need to know that their leaders aren’t going to stab them in the back for doing their jobs.
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Remember how “high-stakes” and “historic” the Mueller testimony was supposed to be? Yeah, about that:
Related – the God-Emperor has once again triggered nuclear meltdowns among his opponents within the Daemoncrats by… telling it like it is in Baltimore:
Boy was it fun to watch that black liberal talking head from the Communist News Network melt down so emotionally. Oh my raging schadenboner…
Look, Baltimore, Newark, Camden, and Detroit, among so many other cities in America, are all clear testaments to the ability, or lack thereof, of blacks to run their own cities. This isn’t just a problem of liberalism – it’s a problem of race. And it isn’t racist to point this out.
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Speaking of Detroit:
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His Most Benevolent and Legendary Astral Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus, is indeed a fun-house mirror that reflects the raging insanity of the Left straight back at them – and that enrages them even more:
President Trump is not a particularly good warfighter, it has to be said. He is a counterpuncher, and he’s REALLY good at that – but winning a serious war requires much more than counterpunching, it requires the ability to land brutal body shots.
In this respect, President Trump does not quite have the killer instinct required to truly destroy his enemies – he forgives them too readily and too easily. That is all very good and very Christian of him, but the Good Book also makes it clear that forgiveness and mercy only apply up to a certain point when fighting against true evil.
And, make no mistake, the Left is truly evil at this point.
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Like the rest of y’all, I have no time or patience to watch the Daemoncrat debates. That’s why I’m quite happy to leave the horrors of that task to people like Mark Dice, Tucker Carlson, and of course our friend the Razorfist:
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Good ol’ 1st Sgt. Terrence Popp (US Army, ret.) takes the issue of veteran suicides straight to His Astral Majesty:
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This next one was sent to me by our friend The Male Brain, who has been very helpful indeed in sending over great video and link suggestions:
Robot Chicken is funny, if you have a really dark and twisted sense of humour – which, for better or worse, I definitely do.
For more examples of said twisted humour:
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For the very, very few of you who bothered to keep up with the STAR WARS Expanded Universe as it meandered pointlessly through Lord only knows how many novels in the Fate of the Jedi series, the being known as Abeloth was always something of a mystery. (For the record – I gave up after the end of the Legacy of the Force series, which was one long exercise in grinding nihilism and misery.)
Well, some enterprising fan went in and tried to explain it all:
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It’s been a really bad few weeks for bodybuilding – and now the ex-girlfriend of one of the strongest men on Earth has accused him of physically abusing him:
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Yeah, why is it a crime to enter a trade school in Commiefornia?
Oh, right. Because Commiefornia, that’s why.
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Ramzpaul calls out the self-serving hypocrisy of so-called “Christians” who walk away from the faith after spending many years twisting its teachings to serve their own needs:
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Kevin Conroy is too good a voice actor to be wasted on a really crappy knock-off kiddie version of Justice League, but I guess that is what pays the bills these days…:
Oh yeah, and of course the primary lesson, as always, is: DO NOT PISS OFF THE BATMAN!!!
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On the subject of Batman – does anyone remember the superb DC animated series Batman Beyond? I sure as hell do:
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Robot Chicken‘s take on Luke Skywalker is still far, far better than anything that the Devil Mouse has done with the IP since they bought out Lucasfilm:
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Speaking of Robot Chicken – their explanation for the whole boulder scene at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark actually makes a lot of sense, when compared with the plot of pretty much the entire movie:
“You bet your ass that’s a giant f***ing boulder!”
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Here’s a great nostalgia trip back to one of the very best space-sim games ever made – TIE FIGHTER!!!
While we’re on the subject of epic space battles in the STAR WARS universe:
You know that the Devil Mouse has a serious problem when fan-made films are of vastly better quality than their own $200 MILLION productions.
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I don’t know if Alita: Battle Angel was any good, since I haven’t seen it, but judging by the clips here, it looks amazing:
Of course, these days, the words “James Cameron” are enough to strike fear into the heart of any normal cinema-goer. Avatard (not a typo) was a visual feast but a terrible story, and Terminator: Geneshit was just plain embarrassing – even though he wasn’t actually the director for it.
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Now, as a general rule, I do not care for rap, hip hop, or R&B. I don’t consider them to be useful or enjoyable forms of “music”, in any way.
I also don’t care for pop music – especially of the kind played by today’s mainstream artists. Like, say, a certain Katy Perry.
But, when I heard that Katy Perry had lost a copyright infringement lawsuit launched against her by a Christian rapper… well, I have to say, I was quite pleased.
It’s rare these days to see a victory chalked up for the good guys. In this specific case, it’s pretty obvious just from listening to the two tracks side by side that Katy Perry absolutely did pinch the backbeat and melody, at minimum, from the Christian rapper in question:
And that’s before we get to the whole “witches’ coven” performance that she did of the song at the Grammy Awards in 2014:
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Here’s a comedy special that simply would not be made today from the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation:
The hilarious thing is that the final minute of that comedy clip shows EXACTLY what happens to women when they go to college these days to get themselves filled full of cock adolt edumacation.
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The Critical Drinker has to drink himself into a coma simply to watch the latest must-see horror flick:
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Gordon Ramsay cusses out restaurant owners for nearly 14 minutes straight – and with very, very good reason:
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For those of you who appreciate good music – this here is Leo Moracchioli’s cover of John Denver’s classic “Country Roads”
To be honest, that is one of Leo’s less stellar covers – the middle section is just a mess. But it’s still impossible not to feel a sense of real longing and homesickness when listening to those lyrics.
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Jeremy Clarkson’s rant from last week got back around to an actual F-1 world champion, and Jody Scheckter had some rather interesting thoughts to add:
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Pics, girls, and guns time:
Time for some news headlines as well – and, yet again, Floriduh Man has been working overtime to make the rest of us rednecks look good:
That’s a sick burn right there – we’re gonna need some aloe vera, stat.
Gayer than springtime, in fact.
Gotta be from Floriduh.
The idiots in Commiefornia obviously have a severe irony deficiency.
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Your dog of the week is the (ridiculously cute and fluffy) Samoyed:
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All right, brace yourselves, boys… time for some gym idiots…:
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Now it’s time for some gym BEASTS – and here is a very special treat just for you guys, because this video shows four of the strongest men ever to walk the Earth, trying to perform a squat technique that Paul Anderson performed decades ago:
Holy shit…
What they were trying to do is genuinely terrifying. There is no way to squat that kind of weight easily to depth given how shaky the bar is. It is in fact a very dangerous thing to do. And yet those guys just went and did it.
Truly, powerlifters and strongmen are demigods in the forms of mortal men.
What is really cool to watch is the camaraderie between those four guys at the end. They are all competitors in the World’s Strongest Man competition – and Brian Shaw is a 4-time winner, Eddie Hall has won it once, and Rob Oberst is a pretty damned good competitor. And yet those guys are like brothers, encouraging and spotting and taking good care of each other.
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Back in the day, Ernesto Hoost was one VERY terrifying badass fighter – and still is, actually. Look at how he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat against the southpaw beast Jerome Le Banner in the ’99 K-1 Grand Prix final:
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Coach Ramsey breaks down some serious bullshido concerning wing chun and its supposed use in combat sports by a certain Anderson Silva:
And here’s some more of the same concerning the “Shaolin Monk”, Yi Long:
Don’t get me wrong, Yi Long is a badass and an extremely awkward opponent for most fighters to handle – but he ain’t no Shaolin monk.
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Speaking of Yi Long – it is now time for the Buakaw Beatdown of the Week, and here is Buakaw’s first fight against the “Shaolin Monk”:
A lot of fight fans reckon that Buakaw was robbed of a decision win in his second fight against Yi Long. I haven’t watched it, so I can’t comment, but apparently the two of them will fight again for the third time in October of this year. Should be a good ‘un.
If you know nothing about Buakaw outside of his fighting record, check out this interview with him. He’s actually a really good laid-back guy – when he’s not trying to kill his training partners – with a very multifaceted life and a deep devotion to his King and his country.
Also, and this cannot be repeated often enough – DO NOT F*** WITH BUAKAW BANCHAMEK!!!
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#MetalWarriors
The only people who can do “drunk off my ass” better than the Finns are definitely the Russians. DO NOT get into a drinking contest with men from either nation – you won’t survive it. Speaking from experience here.
The new SABATON album is pretty good, but it’s not as good as The Last Stand. Still very solid nonetheless.
And of course no Metal Monday is complete without a power metal cheese-fest:
Power metal bands are what happen when you combine the social awkwardness of Dungeons & Dragons with the social awkwardness of playing heavy metal. I don’t know of too many power metal bands where the members get laid like tile – other than maybe the singers, what with their long and glorious manes of silly hair.
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And finally, here is your Instathot for the start of the week – and she is definitely a thot, given that she starred on that stupid realitard TV show, Love Island. Her name is Arabella Chi, and she is famous for being famous, more or less.
That’s a wrap, lads. Now get out there and crush it this Monday.
A post shared by Arabella Chi (@arabellachi) on
1 Comment
Interesting Musical selection for you:
youtube.com/channel/UCs6vRDdkZ8bP8Xt6WHbvrwA
I heard that they were going to do this about ten years ago, and it's taken a while, but it looks like the musical experiment is actually working.