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Don’t date a psychologist

by | Feb 23, 2019 | Uncategorized | 5 comments

Dating women can be, and often is, a minefield no matter where or how you go about it. Dating a psychologist, however, is like walking into a minefield blindfolded and carrying 100lbs worth of dead weight on your back.

Why am I so down on dating women who happen to be psychologists? It goes beyond personal experience. If you go to the trouble of looking up the sentiments that other people have about dating psychologists and psychoanalysts, there is a sharp distinction between women who date male psychologists, and men who date female psychologists.

In that link, women were fairly evenly split on the subject of dating male psychologists. Why? Because male psychologists generally – there are exceptions – have the ability to separate their work from their personal lives.

But, men who had dated female psychologists mostly found the experience to be more trouble than it was worth.

Why? Because women have an extremely hard time separating those two sides of their lives.

Keeping those experiences in mind, I’ve compiled a list of six reasons why it is a terrible idea to date a female psychologist:

1. She Never Stops Analysing

It does not matter what you are doing together. It does not matter where you are. You could be walking down Nevsky Prospekt in St. Petersburg – one of the most beautiful and lively thoroughfares of any major city anywhere in the world. You could be walking along a beautiful and mostly empty beach with nothing around you but a few dogs. You could be sitting down at dinner or in a cafe sipping lattes. The first thing that she will do is look around and try to analyse people’s moods based on their facial features and gestures.

This is cute the first few times you see it. You may even be amazed at how perceptive and accurate she is at judging people – though she will make mistakes. (I’ll come back to this, it’s important.) But it gets really irritating after a while, once you realise that she simply CANNOT switch it off.

And it becomes especially annoying when that trait is turned on you – which it absolutely will be.

Every remark that comes out of your mouth which you thought of as an innocuous or flippant comment will be met with suspicion: “Why did you say that?” Men are not usually very deep. For us, a casual remark almost always IS nothing more than just a casual remark.

Every time you forget to do something, or mess something up, you will be asked, “Why didn’t you do this the way I told you yesterday? Maybe there is something wrong in your subconscious that reacts to instructions that I give you!”

Every time you withdraw from her because you just need a bit of peace and quiet – which, for men, is an absolute and inviolable requirement in order for us to say sane around a woman – you will be confronted with the usual routine: “Why do you insist on spending so much time away from me? Don’t you care about me?!? What trauma do you have in your past that makes you want to be alone so much?!?!”

Trust me on this, you will get very badly worn down after a while. And the thing is, she cannot help it. Being a woman, and therefore vastly more emotionally sensitive than a man, she thinks with her right brain as much as, if not more than, she does with her left. Men have more developed left brains and therefore greater analytical reasoning capabilities, and as such are able to separate emotion from logic much better – but women cannot do this half as easily.

And inevitably, when you get worn down, you WILL react. Which leads to the next problem…

2. Open Mouth, Change Feet – Every Single Time

Despite the fact that psychologists are trained to listen to people, provide an objective ear, and propose solutions that release your traumas and pain through exercises in a safe, confidential environment, female psychologists have some serious problems with criticism.

Let’s say you get frustrated by the endless barrage of criticism and commentary, and you’ve tried telling her, a few times and in a few different ways, “OK, interesting insights, but I think you’re reading too much into things”. And let’s say you’ve done this with a quiet smile of Amused Mastery on your face, making it clear that you don’t take her all that seriously.

She won’t get the hint. She will still carry on psychoanalysing you.

At some point, you ARE going to sharpen your tone of voice and harden your body language. And that is when the Drama From Hell begins.

I have seen it happen in the form of a direct statement: “OK, fine, if you want to act grumpy, I can be grumpy to you too” – followed by long periods of physical separation and tense, uncomfortable silence, which are actually a blessing in disguise for any introverted man who has just been subjected to a barrage of noise and a crowded, overly stimulating environment.

I have also seen it happen in the form of a complete emotional meltdown – with tears, screaming, crying, and extreme anger at how insensitive you are, how incapable of accepting someone else’s pain you are, and how immature you are.

The irony of a grown woman in the midst of a full-blown hysterical meltdown, calling a relatively calm and unemotional man “immature”, will escape her at this point. Trust me on that one. You can call such a man many things – including, potentially, “sociopathic” – but that is a different matter.

Don’t think that you can argue your way out of trouble, though. This is our go-to position as men, because we are: a) rational, and b) emotionally stupid. When confronted with accusations and anger, weak men blow their tops and get emotional, but strong men typically stay stoic and refuse to be provoked.

The problem is that no matter what you do, it will be the wrong thing. And no matter what you say, it will also be the wrong thing.

Why? Because…

3. Both X and Not-X are True

Of all of the people that I have ever met, psychologists and SJWs are highly unusual in their ability to hold two mutually contradictory thoughts in their heads at the same time.

Psychologists have no problem telling you that large parts of their own subject are nonsense and that psychology as a field has a serious “reproducibility crisis” – yet refuse to listen to your criticisms when you tell them the exact same thing.

It is for this reason that a female psychologist can tell you, with a completely straight face and absolute earnestness in her voice, that you are a child and a coward and an abusive person and a religious fanatic, and then get really angry at you when you insist on being the man in the relationship, taking the lead, deciding where to go and what to do, and take the initiative to keep in shape, learn new skills, get good at fighting, and become more of a man.

Why is this possible? Two ideas that are logically contradictory and mutually exclusive should not, under normal circumstances, be held simultaneously in a rational brain, after all.

Psychologists don’t think that way, from what I can see.

I’ve seen a female psychologist argue, based on information that I told her, that a certain person that I know has serious problems with women and has issues with mental confidence and clarity, simply because he is a devout Christian.

When I pointed out that he is in fact a multi-millionaire with extensive property holdings, is working on a massive project that will create tens of thousands of jobs, takes care of his mother because she has a serious degenerative brain disease, and has dated several quite attractive Slavic women in the past – but has not slept with them because he takes the whole “keep it in your pants, buddy” part of the Epistles quite seriously, she responded by saying, “Doesn’t matter, his faith makes him blind”.

There is no discussion or debate with such people. Even when they make a mistake, they have an extremely hard time admitting it.

There seem to be no firm or clear answers in psychology. Ask three different psychologists to look at the exact same patient, and you’ll probably get five different opinions as to what’s wrong with him. And all of those opinions are heavily coloured by the personal experiences of those diagnosticians.

Which brings us neatly to the next point…

4. Most (Female) Psychologists Have Serious Baggage

In fairness to (female) psychologists, the reality is that they have chosen, usually of their own free will, to study a subject that the rest of the world considers to be of the fluffy-bunnies-and-unicorns variety.

It is normal for people to take courses in psychology, at least in American universities, simply to pad out their course credit hours requirements. And it is normal for psychology and sociology students to be the ones who put in the least work and do the most skivving.

On the other side of the equation, a lot of psychology majors go into the subject because they, themselves, have a lot wrong with them. And they know it.

Many of them become psychologists because they recognise that they have some serious issues with their families or partners/spouses, and they believe that by studying psychology they can learn how to help themselves through helping others.

More than one female psych major went into the subject because she had a horrible relationship with one or both of her parents, because she was sexually abused and molested as a child, or because she had massive issues with self-confidence and body image.

The problem is that they are trying to fix themselves through secular humanistic methods, which cannot address the spiritual aspect of a person’s being – hell, most psychologists don’t even acknowledge that there is a spiritual realm, let alone understand it. But they try, very hard, to fix other people because they have a serious “Jesus Complex” – without ever understanding that they cannot fix others, because they cannot even fix themselves.

One thing that I have learned, very much the hard way, is that secular humanism cannot fix you. Anything that denies the power of the spiritual realm in general, and the healing power of the Holy Spirit in particular, is bound to fail.

Such is certainly the case with the female psychologists that I have seen.

In one case, a female psychologist started out studying various therapeutic techniques, and got pretty good at it. She built herself a successful, thriving practice, and got to the point where she owned her own apartment and car in a very expensive city in Eastern Europe. She was doing well for herself and happy professionally.

Except… her personal life was a huge mess.

She was having an on-again, off-again affair with your typical Eastern European alpha-male Chad. He was married, but happily cheated on his wife with as many women as he wanted. He never called her – she always called him. They would have sex, she would loathe herself for constantly trying to be with a man who she knew would never give her the stability and respectability that she craved, and she would always try to end things with him – only to come right back around again, every single time she felt lonely.

Psychologists are seriously messed up people in many ways – just look at Prof. Jordan B. Peterson, for instance. And their training as psychologists ensures that they have a serious case of…

5. Hammer Syndrome

All of us know the old saying, “when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”. Such is certainly true of the psychologists that I have met. Because, as I pointed out above, they simply cannot “switch off” the need to look at everyone as some kind of lab rat, they actively seek out, and inevitably find, some fault to latch onto. And their solution for such faults, every single time, is to make you do therapy.

So you don’t want to go to the gym? You’re lazy. A six-month course of weekly two-hour therapy sessions will fix you.

So you want to go to the gym five or six days a week? You’re obsessive and can get no satisfaction from anything in life. A six-month course of weekly two-hour therapy sessions will fix you.

So you don’t like the idea of going skydiving? You’re a boring rigid old stick-in-the-mud and you were probably very badly suppressed as a child. A six-month course of weekly two-hour therapy sessions will fix you.

So you don’t have much experience dating women? You lack confidence, you’re scared of girls, and your parents probably raised you to be a “good boy” and do all of the “right things” and suppressed the hell out of you. A six-month course of weekly two-hour therapy sessions will fix you.

So you have huge experience dating women but don’t want to settle down? You have profound insecurities and you fear commitment because you feel that you will lose the freedom that you spent all those years trying to earn. A six-month course of weekly two-hour therapy sessions will fix you.

You get the idea. Everything comes down to the same cookie-cutter advice: do therapy, talk away your problems, and you will become a better and more complete and more whole person in the process.

Except… many psychologists cannot seem to hold onto their clients particularly well.

Why? Because inevitably therapy sessions reach the point where you feel, as a client, that you’re paying a friend a lot of money to sit and listen to you bitch for two hours a week. And after a while, that gets really old – especially given how much therapy costs in most countries.

But the absolute worst thing BY A MILE about psychologists, especially the female kind, has got to be the fact that…

6. Psychologists Believe in Utter Tripe

If you examine the roots of modern psychoanalysis, you keep coming back to a few big names: Breuer, Freud, and Jung in particular.

I don’t know much about Josef Breuer, other than that he was a mentor to Sigmund Freud. What I know of Freud, however, is deeply unflattering. The evidence we have available today tells us that he was nothing short of a colossal fraud. And Carl Jung worshipped a mystical god named Abraxas, and was indirectly responsible for the hedonistic liberation of the sexual revolution in the 1960s.

The horrible state of the dating and marriage market places today is an indirect result of Jung’s own theories. Yeah, thanks a lot, dude.

And that is before we get to the 1950s, and the advent of Diarrhoetics – uh, excuse me, Dianetics.

This latter phenomenon was the kooky brainchild of third-rate science fiction writer Lafayette Ron Hubbard, who wrote a book in which he claimed to have discovered a complete scientific revolution in the examination, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health. He enticed prospective followers with fantastical promises: if they bought his book and followed his approaches, they could cure themselves of any and all psychosomatic ailments, which he said could be “scientifically proven” to be the cause of 70% of all nervous, mental, and physical ailments.

Adherents of Dianetic therapy would be able to rid themselves of poor vision, be totally rational with perfect understanding of the world around them, have perfect teeth, be rid of physical aches and pains, and would have vastly increased intelligence and hyper-acute sensory perceptions.

Hubbard came up with a whole series of “innovations” designed to market his nutty ideas, including the notion of a “Tone Scale” of emotional sensitivity. That scale started at 0 and went up to 4.0 in the original formulation – but was eventually expanded out to a scale from -40 to +40, with 0 being “body death” and 1.1 being “covert hostility”.

Quite how anyone could possibly be emotionally lower than a state of “body death” is rather beyond me. But hey, I’m just a geek with two degrees in mathematics, 12 years of experience working with IT systems, and knowledge of 8 different programming languages. I’m probably not smart enough to figure it out.

(That, in case anyone who studies Diuretics is unsure, is what we stupid people call “sarcasm”.)

What shocks me is not that someone came up with such nonsense. Snake oil peddlers have been around since the dawn of time, and will be with us well into the future. Lord only knows how many New Age spiritual “gurus” have come along since then with claims that they have found the perfect way of doing anything. (*cough CrossShit cough*)

No, what amazes me is that otherwise intelligent women fall for this utter nonsense in droves. And then they turn around and try to convince their families and boyfriends to ingest the same codswallop.

Now, make no mistake, some aspects of Dianetics actually work. I know this because the evidence is unequivocal on the subject. But if you examine the actual claims made in the book, Dianetics, and then try to conduct experiments on those claims in the real world, you’re going to find in a very big hurry that very little in that book actually stacks up against reality.

This requires some explanation, probably by way of another post. Suffice to say that, for now, you’ll just have to take my word for it. But if you do a little research, you will find very quickly that LRH made some seriously ridiculous and overhyped claims in that book.

Why does Dianetics work some of the time? Because, at its core, it is basically talk therapy. That’s all there is to it. And talk therapy is clinically proven to have a measurable positive effect.

So if that’s all it is… why all the hoopla about studying Dianetics in order to get beyond mere talk therapy?

For that, you’ll have to ask a female Dianetics auditor or practitioner. All I can tell you is that, based on my experiences in dealing with such women, they come with some serious problems attached to them.

Heed My Warning, Brother…

Don’t date a psychologist if you can avoid it in any way. You won’t feel like a bug under a microscope or a rat running through a confusing labyrinth. You won’t have to deal with her massive emotional baggage, past traumas, extreme oversensitivity to criticism, profound insecurities compounded by overweening pride, and painfully one-track conversations. You won’t have to support her follies financially or emotionally. And you won’t have to deal with the inevitable results of her trying to exert control over you, to force you to do therapy with her, to correct out your “serious personal defects”.

Life is too short for such things. Remember, lads:

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  1. widlast washere

    I've known quite a few psych majors, every last one of them was in it for the free therapy.
    Don't date lunatics, nuff said.

  2. Post Alley Crackpot

    "… carrying 100lbs worth of dead weight on your back …"

    You found a psychologist who weighs only 100 lbs?

    Colour me impressed!

  3. waitingForTheStorm

    I had a colleague who decided to become a psychologist. I was asked to participate in some exercises while he was in school. I acceded because he was a friend.

    I do recall, shortly before he completed his course of study, a conversation. I told him that, if I ever needed psychological help, nothing would be more frightening than walking into the office and finding him facing me on the other side of the desk. He died in an unfortunate skydiving accident soon thereafter; but that is a different story.

    Interesting writing style. I spent 45 years as a professional software developer and have, literally, lost count of the number of computer languages I have used over the past.

  4. John

    Or a female pastor. She was an Episcopal pastor. I guess that’s America’s version of the Anglican church. I know, even one date was too much. Fortunately in my case, it was enough. We got back from our date. I took her to the door. She wanted to hug instead of kiss. So we did. And she proceeded to pat me on the back. It was awkward and creepy. She realized what she did and apologized. I still never called her again.

    • Didact

      Yes, but the words, “female pastor” are a contradiction in terms, by definition, under any faithful understanding of Scripture. So, dating one is just asking for trouble, really.

      With psychologists, you can sort of learn to navigate around SOME of their problems, because the better ones can eventually figure out how to reconcile psychotherapy with Christian ethics. But women have absolutely no place in the pulpit.

      You have it right – even one date is too much. And you did right to hit the HARD NEXT button.


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