Christmas Eve is supposed to be about spending time with loved ones and preparing to celebrate the birth of the Saviour, and I am all in favour of that. Christmas itself is, after all, my single favourite day of the year.

But, being a flawed and imperfect man as I am, and a shitlord to boot, I also like to take a few moments during this season to twist a few liberal noses thoroughly out of joint.

To that end- have a look at what the Daily Mail insists are thoroughly politically incorrect and deeply declasse advertisements depicting how our forebears used to celebrate Christmas:

I particularly like those old Hoover ads, which remind me of that old joke about what to do if your dishwasher is broken. (One possible answer- “Slap the bitch!”- is a step too far, but most of the responses tend to be quite funny.)

Now, call me an asshole if you like- and you’d be right, since I am one- but I rather fail to see what the issue is here.

The whole point of Christmas is to spend it with family in joyous celebration of a momentous event in world history. And in my experience few things make a wife and mother happier than when her husband and children are around her, eating food that she has prepared, at the family dinner table.

The pictures that you see above depict a society that tried, and at least somewhat succeeded, in balancing out the crass commercialism of our modern age with a more family-oriented sensibility that made note of the things that are really important in life- home and hearth, husband and wife, festivity and celebration.

There is an elegance and a timelessness to them that today’s Christmas advertisements cannot possibly hope to emulate- because the men in them look like sad-sack overweight henpecked Betas, or tend to be “diverse” Dindus used to ram home some silly point about multiculturalism, and because the women in them all look either like supermodels, or like ugly badly-dressed feminists.

Long gone is the idea that a wife should be an elegantly attired, well-maintained lady who takes good care of herself, takes pride in her appearance, and gains great joy from time spent with her husband and family. If you even suggested this to most liberal East Coast women, they’d go ballistic.

And that, to me, is pretty sad and somewhat tragic.

Christmas is a time to remember what is good in life and hold it in high esteem. Among the things that hold the most value for us as men is a reverence and respect for the past, which we use as a guide and a lesson for us as we attempt to navigate our future.

So this Christmas, get your wife a vacuum cleaner, let her cook a big hearty Christmas dinner that your hard work and your pay cheque provided for her, give your kids fun useful gifts- knives and guns for the boys, dolls and dresses for the girls- and sit back in your favourite chair, read a passage or two from the Bible, and enjoy that wonderful feeling that comes from being THE MAN.