As bojangles found out, it can sometimes be severe:

The psyche here comes from Indian families and how they work. By the age of 23-24 your parents/uncles/aunts and practically everyone in the generation above you is on your ass about getting married and finding a girl, constantly hooking you up on pointless blind dates. Most Indian guys easily succumb to that pressure and fulfill the wishes of their parents.

Asian family hierarchy is traditionally set in stone. Once a man marries and has a child, he automatically ascends to alpha in his household, even above his own father, who still tries to remain top of the perch but inevitably falls. If you don’t follow this ‘natural course’ that being an Indian seems to dictate then inevitably that alpha male in your household will project his vision on you and do his best to make you do what he wants (get married and have bloody kids!). 

I am still a bachelor at the grand old age of 28. According to my old man and my old dear I am past due and will soon find no-one to spend my life with…

I got tired of my mother’s bitching, the woman whose siblings’ children were all getting married and having ‘fairytale’ Indian weddings. I knew that my mother wanted a wedding for herself in Indian culture, a status-showing occasion more for parents than an actual celebration of the marriage. She wanted to buy all the glamorous sarees, jewelry, and clothes. She wanted to pretty up a couple of banquet halls and show off my old man’s wealth…

Six months months later, my father phoned me. He offered a half-arsed apology and said he wanted to talk. I agreed but felt there was another motive behind it.  I made the journey back home a few weeks later to see what was going to happen. I walked into a warzone.

I come from a somewhat similar background to bojangles here. He and I are roughly the same age and at roughly the same point in our lives (though we do not, as far as I am aware, know each other personally). And I want to make this perfectly clear: the situation that bojangles describes is absolutely identical to the one faced by millions of young Asian men every day. Family ties are extremely strong in the part of the world that we come from. I’ve experienced pressures similar to the ones that his family brought to bear on him, though not nearly as bad- my parents married each other out of choice, not arrangement, and to their enormous credit have always insisted that their children do the same.

The Red Pill comes with a severe cost- see Bill Powell’s post about solitude, Danger & Play’s recent post about the cost of enlightenment, and my personal commentary on both. I know full well that there will come a day when I will have to tell my parents that marriage in this day and age is a horrible idea, given the amount of power that the corrupted and warped institution of modern marriage gives women. I know exactly what kind of reaction it will provoke. It will not be pretty. There are still certain things that an Asian man is expected to do by his parents, his family, and his society. To fail to do those things is considered virtually on par with the Islamic equivalent of apostasy. There are very good historical reasons for these expectations- for one thing, the safety net provided by government for the elderly is basically non-existent in third-world Asian societies (which is exactly how things should be), and Asian parents know full well that their only real safety net is their children. And while I absolutely believe in supporting my parents in their old age, because of everything they have given me, my views on marriage and children are radically different from theirs.

This is the inevitable outcome of accepting ancient and powerful truths. Once you take the Red Pill, and you realise that you have been ripped off and lied to by the world around you for much of your life, there is no going back. You cannot pretend to un-learn the concepts of female hypergamy and male dominance. You cannot pretend to support the idea of a wife that can truly have it all by putting her career ahead of your children and you. You cannot believe the idea that a wedding is about the people getting married, rather than an opportunity for the families of the same to show off. You cannot believe that the idea of setting aside two months’ salary (or more) for a hunk of highly pressurised cut carbon is a sensible idea.

The cost is high. But believe me when I say that it is worth the price. Some things are worth fighting for. The truth is indeed one of them. Do not be afraid to fight for what you believe in, as bojangles did.