Gentlemen. Suppose you are out on a date with a fair lady, and suppose that your date takes place in a pleasant venue with good food and drinks. The lady that you are with turns out to be excellent company- youthful, beautiful, well-turned-out in a dress and heels, vivacious, intelligent, full of laughter… in other words, she is everything that men like us approve of in a lady.

Suppose said young lady excuses herself, for nature calls. You happily agree, enjoying the mood of the moment. After a few minutes you decide to follow suit and wander over to the men’s restroom, intending to do what Big Jim calls:

You wander into the men’s john, and you see… well, this:

Now, I’ve been on one or two pretty bad dates in my life. But I have never had the misfortune of experiencing that particular kind of Hell. And I sure hope that none of you fellows ever have to go through that either.

If you see this, run away. Far, far away. As fast as you possibly can.