Holy Bat-bitchslap, it’s Monday again. Take heart, brothers, it’ll all be over soon – more so given that the Great Mondaydact Browser Mulcher is here to help you waste your entire day away. And, rest assured, as bad as you think your Monday is, the awful cretins over at the Clown News Network are having a VASTLY worse day. For, as we all know, last week saw the complete and total failure, after just 22 DAYS, of CNNLOL’s brand spanking (heh) new streaming service:

This is how I feel about it:

Here’s the thing:

CNNLOL+ was essentially literally just MORE CNNLOL. It was more of the EXACT SAME DAMN THING. And people are just fed to the back teeth of the “regular” CNNLOL shit.

Now, initially, CNN spent US$300M, and more, on the channel – setting it up, creating content, building up shows, the lot. They attracted 150,000 subscribers, paying US$5.99 per month. Do a little MAFF and you’ll realise that in the first month of operation, they would have made only US$898,500 in revenues.

If you do a little more MAFF – my Damn Yankee readers will have to hang with me here, I know numbers really aren’t your thing, which is why you lot rank below the OECD average in maths, and have for some time now – you will note that this subscriber base would generate US$10.782M per year.

This, in turn, means that CNNLOL would require 27.82 YEARS just to recoup that initial US$300M investment.

And yet, the idiots behind the network were planning on investing up to US$1 BILLION in the stupid thing. By any rational, reasonable measure, that shit ain’t happenin’, not with those subscriber counts, and certainly not when only about 10,000 subscribers actually tune in to the content itself.

There are many reasons why CNN+ failed, so badly and so spectacularly that a number of the network’s top managers have been given a swift kick up the arse on their way out the door. Among these is the fact that CNN+ was literally just more of the same crap that CNN gives you every day – the same Deep State Swamp point of view, the same mindless drivel, the same idiocy. And they expected people to pay for it, on top of the revenues that CNN gets from hotels and airports and cable packages.

(By the way, if you’re still paying for cable, you’re an idiot. You are literally paying money to people who hate you, to crap all over you. Stop doing that to yourself.)

There is, however, another major lesson to learn from CNNLOL+’s failure. Essentially, you cannot chase a niche market with a mainstream platform’s budget. Doesn’t work. Far better to find people with niche audiences on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and elsewhere, pay them perhaps 15-20% more per video than they get from their regular Patreon subscribers and ad content, keep them responsible for their own overheads and costs, and slap a CNN+ brand logo on specific content that they make for the platform.

That would be a cost-effective, economical, fast way of creating a streaming service that at least some people might watch. But, because evidently CNNLOL is run by a bunch of Harvard and Stanford MBAs, this didn’t occur to them.

(Pro-tip: if you want to learn how to destroy a business as fast as possible, do an MBA at a mainstream business school. Works like a charm, every single time. If you spend all of your time unpacking cases and looking at what worked in the past, instead of working on real-world business problems in the present, you’ll never figure out how to run a proper business.)

Still and all, it’s great fun to mock CNN+’s well-deserved and thorough failure. So let’s get to it:

Amazing how a Trump-hating not-very-nice-lady has turned herself around. She got rid of that stupid SJW haircut, learned how to dress like an attractive woman again, and ditched the stupid politics. And now look at her. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t trust one word she says, but she’s certainly cleaned herself up substantially, and that is very much to her credit.

Ultimately, CNN+ failed because it had nothing interesting to offer. FOX Nation, for instance, offers REAL original content – starting with Tucker Carlson Today and Tucker Carlson Originals. #BasedTucker‘s fanbase is rabidly loyal to him – there is a reason why he features so prominently in these weekly dumps of mine.

Good riddance, CNN+. Now let’s see how long it takes Warner Discovery, or whatever they’re called at this point, to get rid of CNN itself. Y’all bring the shovels, I’ll supply the beers.

---

The Mighty God-Emperor

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, the Chaddest of Chads, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, offered up some brutally hilarious thoughts on the premature detonation of CNN+:

He also had a good week destroying a former CNNLOL employee, Piers Morgan:

Piers really is an insufferable oaf of the worst kind – and very likely a serious Gamma, to boot. Here’s what the Greatest Living Englishman had to say about him:

---

#BasedTucker is Based

Apr 18, 2022

Apr 19, 2022

Apr 20, 2022

Apr 21, 2022

Apr 22, 2022

---

Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain has plenty of good stuff to keep us all entertained today. We start with a hilarious video from Solid jj about THE GODDAMN BATMAN explaining how the entire Justice League can be defeated:

Of course, inevitably, the Justice League kicks him out, and Batman reacts like the massive Gamma wet-dream that he really is. (Also, this is more or less a comical take on the Justice League: DOOM storyline.)

Another one from the same guy:

Moving on – The Babylon Bee continues to report fake news far more accurately than CNNLOL ever could:

JP Sears has a superb video out about liberal workouts:

“Barbells can build a lot of muscle, which can improve your self-esteem, so what you’ll want to do, is NOT USE THEM” – hysterical. As a fat meathead powerlifter, I thoroughly approve of this line.

Amazing, isn’t it? The dude is a vegan, yet he’s JACKED AF, isn’t a whiny bitch, and is actually FUNNY. He truly is the exception that proves the rule.

John Michael Godier unpacks a bunch of not-very-optimistic scenarios concerning alien civlisations:

Let’s have a bit more of Ryan George:

Cracked continue their efforts to be funny again:

Beluga explains that if Brolon also owned Discord,

The ending is hilarious – stick around. Though, as TMB himself says, there are AKSHUAL GIRLZ!!! on Discord. (I wouldn’t have a clue, I don’t use it.)

Getting serious for a moment, Academy of Ideas explains the phenomenon of mass formation psychosis, which Dr. Robert Malone mentioned on The Toe Rogan Experience some time ago:

---

Poli-ticking Off

Mark Dice is not alone in laughing his arse off at CNNLOL+’s failure:

---

The Greek gents of The Duran offered up some superb broadcasts last week. Here is Alexander Mercouris in a long stream from Saturday:

And his good buddy Alex Christoforou reports from Nicosia about the upcoming partition of Banderastan, the total collapse of EU resistance to the Neo-Tsar’s gas-for-rubles demand, and so on:

---

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily, about the absolutely horrific state of Western geopolitical understanding at the moment, and explains just how bad things could really get, starting in the very near future:

Andrei’s take on the neoclowns is absolutely spot-on. These people are MORONS of the worst kind – and they think they are clever, because they are qualified in useless subjects and have no understanding of how the real economy actually works.

---

China Uncensored reports, from a very biased perspective, about the CCP’s desire to pursue nuclear weapons:

It’s not a fear-driven reaction. China’s response is completely rational. They know perfectly well that, if Russia fails to defeat NATO and the American Empire of Lies, they are next – so they are readying themselves for the coming great war.

---

America Uncovered notes that Fake President Greenscreen McNappyFace’s Sigma son is proving to be an even bigger embarrassment than any of us thought:

The Laptop From Hell is almost certainly being exposed now, among the mainstream media types, because The Powers That Be can see that the Fake Presidential Puppet has outlived his usefulness, and wants to keep him in line until he can be shoved out a window and replaced by someone even more pliable and less competent. (Which is a terrifying thought, actually, because that would mean that the Deep State will choose for its figurehead a LITERAL TURNIP.)

---

Jared Taylor from American Renaissance explains why the Empire of Lies must hide the realities of Black crime – because if the truth ever got out, Whites would push for immediate resegregation:

---

Righteous Rantery

Paul Ramsey offers his take on that whorenalist who tried to doxx and deplatform the lady who runs the “Libs of Tik Tok” Twatter channel:

Just look at that face. Thousand Cock Stare, dead eyes, daemonic grin – this is NOT a nice person.

---

PJW has a brief video up about the supposed “Ukrainians” fleeing the war and heading to Europe:

---

The lovely and charming Dr. Sam Bailey has a great segment about what blood injected – or infected, take your pick – with the not-vaxx, actually looks like:

---

Lord Razor of the Fist Clan can barely contain his delight at the self-immolation of CNN-Minus:

---

Warriors of Faith

The Dizzle exposes the reality of the supposedly “perfectly preserved” Koran:

---

Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms and his friend Joe from Red Judaism explain that the scholarly consensus about the supposed “origins” of the Izzlamist nonsense is finally shifting, and acknowledging the fact that nothing about the standard narrative holds water:

---

Al-Fadi from CIRA International and Dr. Jay Smith offer their strongest criticism yet of Mecca as the supposed origin point of the Izzlamist heresy:

---

Colin from Islam Critiqued asks and answers a very important question:

---

Dr. Frank Turek from Cross Examined tackles an atheist on the subject of morality:

Here’s a point that atheists repeatedly fail to understand:

When God dictates the killing or destruction of anyone or anything – whether it is a person or a nation – it is NOT murder or genocide.

The logic should be obvious, yet atheists continue to fail to grasp it. If you apply limited, incomplete, flawed human understandings of morality on what amounts, from a human perspective, to be an unlimited, complete, perfect Being, then you are by definition making a severe category error.

Furthermore, every single time that God dictates genocide or killing in the Bible, He does so not out of arbitrary whim, but out of a sense of absolute JUSTICE.

---

Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp is not impressed by SJW attempts to defend and redefine their disgusting sexual perversions, especially in light of Florida’s excellent anti-woke law:

---

Joker from Better Bachelor has a field day holding a woman responsible for her own awful choices:

He is correct to do so. If a woman wants to “open up” her marriage, then she is entirely responsible for the outcome. The same applies to men, too, by the way. There is a REASON why monogamous marriage is the model to which all high-functioning, high-trust societies always return – because monogamous marriage is LITERALLY BUILT on trust. The moment you get rid of that trust, you burn society down to the ground – just look at Arab or African societies, which are inherently non-monogamous, and inherently disastrous.

---

Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge documents the implosion of the House of the Devil Mouse in the wake of Florida’s passage of the new anti-woke law, and the Florida legislature’s subsequent decision to hold the Devil Mouse responsible for its attempts to undermine the sovereignty of the state itself:

Note to all conservatives: THIS is what winning looks like when you ACTUALLY FIGHT BACK. It is glorious to behold. Yet y’all still, in general, refuse to do it.

---

Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock is evilly pleased about Florida’s utter smackdown of the House of the Devil Mouse too:

---

Gary from Nerdrotic mansplains the history of the M-She-U:

---

The Drinker reviews a recent movie called Morbius, about which I don’t have even the first clue:

---

Reading Too Much Into Things

Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week is from Dawn Pine, and concerns how to make your voice heard in a big organisation:

We extend the field’s understanding of voice recognition by examining peer responses to voice. We investigate how employees can help peers get a status boost from voicing, while also raising their own status, by introducing the concept of amplification—public endorsement of another person’s contribution, with attribution to that person. In two experiments and one field study, we find that amplification enhances status both for voicers and for those who amplify voice. Being amplified was equally beneficial for voicers who framed their ideas promotively and prohibitively (improvement-focused and problem-focused, respectively; Study 1), and for men and women (Study 2). Furthermore, amplified ideas were rated as higher quality than nonamplified ideas. Amplification also helped amplifiers: participants reading experimentally manipulated meeting transcripts rated amplifiers as higher status than those who self-promoted, stayed quiet, or contributed additional ideas (Studies 1 and 2). Finally, in an intervention in a nonprofit organization, select employees trained to use amplification attained higher status in their work groups (Study 3). Overall, these results increase our understanding of how social actors can capitalize on instances of voice to give a status boost to voicers who might otherwise be overlooked, and help organizations realize the potential of employees’ diverse perspectives.

The tl;dr version literally comes down to: “give props to your co-workers”.

Seriously, we give WAY too much money to scientists to study useless shit.

---

Your long read of the week is also from The Male Brain, and concerns the role of Presidents as economic (mis)managers:

Beyond that, this pattern has several implications. The first is that Democrats have generally benefitted from being elected at the point where the business cycle is about to turn upward. Thanks in part to this accident of timing, they are re-elected to a second term as a reward for the (largely inevitable) economic recovery.

The second, as noted above, is that if Republican presidents are elected during economic expansions (especially in the later stages), then by extension, they will be in office when the boom turns to recession, even if it takes a decade or more. Being elected in an economy that has reached the top of the business cycle and is poised to decelerate leads to a comparatively negative economic record.

Critics may still insist that Republican mismanagement, not the business cycle, drove the recessions, but they would be hard-pressed to match correlation with causation. The 1980s Reagan-Bush economy produced a historically strong recovery after the Carter recession before running out of gas in 1990, as the natural business cycle would predict was inevitable. Despite a short recession in early 2001, the economy held steady under George W. Bush until the housing market crashed — an event that was not rooted in any presidential act. (In fact, between 2001 and 2007, the Bush administration repeatedly implored Congress to rein in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac before they contributed to a mortgage meltdown.) The Trump economy thrived until a global pandemic caused a largely unavoidable worldwide recession during his final year in office. None of these three recessions (or four, if one includes the 2001 downturn that occurred early in Bush’s term) were triggered by the policies of the president who happened to be in office at the time.

On the flip side, Biden is the third consecutive Democratic president to take office during or in the immediate aftermath of a recession. And like the previous two, he will likely ride the natural business cycle back up and receive credit for the recovery (aided by the fact that the vaccine required to disrupt the pandemic had been produced and was being distributed when he took office). By that point, the Federal Reserve and the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) were already projecting significant economic growth through 2021. The Biden economy has not performed markedly different from those original expectations.

In sum, it appears the best way to judge the economy under a given president is to consider its performance relative to the economic trajectory that president inherited. Over the past 44 years, there have been just three notable outliers — Clinton’s overachievement, Obama’s underachievement, and Trump’s overachievement, all relative to their inherited trajectories.

Clinton’s second term began with a booming economy and a 5.3% unemployment rate. But instead of decelerating, the economy added 9.5 million more jobs to further reduce the jobless rate to 4.2%. No other presidential term in the last 44 years that began with a strong economy saw even 2.5 million jobs created. And of the five presidential terms since 1976 that began with a sub-5.5% unemployment rate, Clinton’s second term was the only one that escaped a recession. In fact, the average annual economic-growth rate of 4.5% in those years was the highest of any presidential term during that era.

Obama’s first term was an outlier in the other direction. Since 1976, every presidential term that began with an unemployment rate between 7% and 8% ended up seeing the economy add between 6 and 10 million new jobs over the course of those four years. The only exception was Obama’s first term, during which just 1 million jobs were added; in fact, the unemployment rate rose slightly, from 7.8% to 8.0%. Even adjusting for the severity of the 2007-2008 recession, this was the weakest economic recovery since the Great Depression, widely missing the jobs and economic-growth benchmarks set by the White House as well as the CBO, Federal Reserve, and blue-chip forecasts. The economy grew at an average annual rate of just 1% over those four years, peaking at 2.6% in 2010.

Trump, meanwhile, inherited the second-lowest unemployment rate of any president since 1976. Yet his term saw that already low 4.7% rate plummet further, to a 50-year low of 3.5%, as 6.6 million jobs were created during his first three years in office. This performance blew away the projections of the CBO and economic forecasters, which had merely hoped for a “soft landing” rather than a full recession at that point in the business cycle. The pandemic, of course, caused the bottom to fall out in 2020. Though Trump arguably mishandled the response, even the most competent policy could not have kept America’s economy out of the attendant global recession.

It is a very good analysis. The core piece that is missing, is about monetary policy. Obama’s “growth” came from record amounts of money printing and debt – as did Bush’s, and Clinton’s. Reagan’s growth, on the other hand, came from genuinely helpful regulatory cuts and tax breaks, during an era of extremely tight monetary policy that broke the back of the inflation crisis that destroyed so much of the middle class in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Trump got half of the recipe right – tax cuts and regulatory relaxations were very much to the good, but the loose monetary policy that has now turned into rampant inflation was nothing short of a disaster.

The West is now in what Keynesian economists call “the liquidity trap”, a quite terrifying situation (to them, anyway) that essentially means that further fiscal and monetary stimulus are both totally ineffective. This is where Japan has been for decades. The only way out is to bite the bullet and take the pain – the IMMENSE pain – of restructuring the corporate sector and wind down government debt, while raising interest rates to stop inflation.

All of this would result in a truly horrific recession, of a level that would make the Great Depression look mild by comparison. Yet it is also absolutely and unquestionably necessary at this point. And that exact same outcome WILL happen, one way or another.

---

Linkage is good for you:

• Pat “Mr. Paleoconservative” Buchanan has been chugging at least a bit of Kool-Aid with respect to the SMO in Banderastan, but his analysis of America’s priorities on the subject is spot-on;
• The great Dr. Ron Paul points the finger of blame for inflation squarely where it belongs – at Fed Chairman Jerome Powell, and at his predecessors, Janet Yellen and Ben Bernanke;
• Ukrainians fleeing Banderastan may have jumped out of the frying pan and straight into the fire, as they are now discovering that the Euzis and Limeys aren’t as benevolent as they might have seemed at first;
• The Z Man points out that, by turning over the conduct of war and foreign policy to an intellectual elite that is totally disconnected from the people, we are repeating a terrible mistake from the Great War;
• OnlySimps has quit Russia, which is absolutely hilarious, because this now means that the Russian yoot are going to grow up without a bunch of real filth contaminating their minds;
• The inimitable Ann Coulter heaps scorn, as only she can, on the notion that rapidly escalating crime rates across the USSA can be blamed on the Coof;
• Brolon’s takeover of Twatter may or may not be in service of “MUH FREE SPEECH!!!” – I think it is not – but at least he is making the board of directors absolutely crap themselves in the process, and that is very much to the good;
• The National Interest argues that the Navy’s Constellation-class frigates are actually effective at what they do – I have no opinion on the subject, but I suppose this means that the American Navy can still field useful weapons sometimes;
• The Shriekbat managed to get herself knocked up, the process of which undoubtedly resulted in multiple ruptured eardrums – and that’s BEFORE we get to the actual delivery;
• A Trump-appointed judge finally cancelled the mask mandate, which is wonderful – but of course the Fake President plans to sue to override the ruling;
• Train-smash exemplar Courtney Stodden now insists on using “gender-neutral pronouns”, even though she was true jailbait back in the day, and continues to make a fool of herself in public to this very day;
• Paul Craig Roberts points out some very harsh but fair truths about slavery in the Americas that the racial grievance lobby don’t want you to know;
• Ilana Mercer documents the continued slide of society straight into the bowels of Idiocracy, which was unquestionably a documentary sent to us straight from the future by concerned time-travellers, who sadly failed in their mission;
• The whorenalists continue to cover for the Fake President, just like they did with Carter, not because he’s a good choice, but simply because they have a vested interest in protecting him from himself;
• Energy providers in PommieBastardLande are telling the Limeys to tighten their belts in preparation for a genuinely awful winter, and given what I’m seeing of power prices there, it really will be horrendous;

And some more from Dawn Pine:

• If you think that NFTs are anything but a bubble at best, and probably a scam at worst, then you clearly aren’t paying attention to the market (for the record, I think NFTs are simply nuts);
• Let’s lower the tone a bit here – a woman with one of the biggest mouths in the world, who looks like a particularly ugly catfish, reacts to the man with the biggest junk in the world describing what it’s like when at attention;
• If you are a woman looking to get married and be a stay-at-home-mum, then apparently there are some professions for your man that are worse than others for a happy marriage;
• Finally, some good news in the culture wars – a Christian professor just won a lawsuit that says that his university cannot force him to use LGBTQWTFISTHISSHIT pronouns for mentally ill degenerate freaks;
• The Koran-burning riots in Sweden might be shocking for the ABBA fans over there, but to us, it’s an opportunity for mockery – which specific version of the Koran were they planning to burn, the Hafs, or the Warsh?;
• Here’s a “funny yet sad” story about an illegal who won 250K euro in the lottery in Belgium, yet can’t collect it, because he can’t legally open a bank account;
• Proving, yet again, just how stupid India can really be, apparently their excess deaths are not based on the WHO’s global model, but on one that they just sort of made up themselves – which means that it was badly coded;
• There are a LOT of red-pill lessons to learn from this story – teenage-style infatuation with hypergamy involved, female hamster-wheeling, social proof, men giving up their dreams for their women, etc.;
• The Israelis are FINALLY, AT LONG BLOODY LAST, getting rid of their stupid public Kung Flu mask mandates – even though at least 40% of Israelis probably never paid much attention to it anyway;
• The Frogs take a break from electioneering and pretending to be relevant to do something genuinely really cool – lighting their streets with bioluminescent bacteria that need no electricity to do their thing;

---

MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOZHUN!!!

The Neo-Tsar

---

Those Who Fail To Learn From History…

History lessons of the week:

---

Your Great Man of the Week is Oliver Cromwell, the Great Protector of Ye Olde Englande, at the suggestion of The Male Brain:

---

HALO Nation

HiddenXperia has some interesting theories about what the Xalanynn, or whatever they’re called, actually are:

And now let’s watch slayergod Mint Blitz do the utterly ridiculous and crazy:

---

That’s Not Gone Well…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

---

Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:

---

Comedy hour:

---

Pictionary, Pulchritude, Pew-Pews

Let’s start with some pics from The Male Brain:

(Ironically, Sam Elliott is apparently a Daemoncrat.)

Onward:

Headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man is a little fuzzy on the concept of what is, and is not, illegal:

Your “SkyNet Becomes Self-Aware” moment of the week:

Your “Easter Egg Hunt” moment of the week:

Your “What’s Yours Is Whine” moment of the week:

I have literally no ability to craption this next one, it’s just so brilliant on its own:

Your “This Probably Won’t End Well” moment of the week:

Your “Russian Cow Farts” moment of the week:

Must be all the pickled cabbage that they eat.

I’m laughing too hard to craption this one:

That’s a good father, right there.

Your “Found Bigfeet” moment of the week:

That HAD to happen in Virginia.

---

Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

---

The Lords of Steel

Gym beast props this week go to Danny Grigsby:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Danny Grigsby (@dan_grigs)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Danny Grigsby (@dan_grigs)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Danny Grigsby (@dan_grigs)

---

Wise Uncle Chael the American Gangster discusses the idea of a “tune-up fight” for “The Notorious” Conor Macgregor upon his inevitable return to fighting, and explains why he thinks that is actually a bad idea that Conor will reject:

---

Jesus loves knockouts:

And here’s the beautiful uppercut KO that Tyson Fury “The Gypsy King” landed on Dillian Whyte over the weekend:

Ooof. That was BRUTAL.

---

Icecapades

Shufflin’ keeps things groovin’:

---

The Lords of Steel

---

Hot Totty

And finally here’s your Instathot of the day. Since this IS a Monday, the trashiest of all weekdays, we tend to feature the trashier Instasloots to make you feel just a little bit better about yourself, in a sort of “that’s a horrific car crash but I can’t stop looking away” kind of way. In keeping with such a noble and honourable tradition, here is Roberta Raluca, of uncertain age but definitely an Eyetie, and certainly containing enough plastic to represent a potential choking hazard.

OK, that’s it, show’s over, put your eyeballs back in your head and get back to work.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ralu 🦋 (@mrroberta__)