It’s Monday, and normally, that would result in a veritable torrent of exquisitely foul and nasty swear words – in Russian, no less – from yours truly. (Actually, if you really want to master the art of swearing, you need to do it in Bulgarian. They have THE funniest coarse vocabulary that I have ever seen.) But today is actually not so bad, because the weather outside is absolutely SPECTACULAR. It’s the kind of day that makes winter ALMOST worth suffering through.
Nonetheless, it IS still Monday, and Over Here, it is also the day after the one on which clocks shift forward by an hour. This particularly asinine and stupid nonsense known as “daylight savings time”, makes absolutely no sense to anyone who stops to think about it carefully (which precludes every single politician that ever came up with the concept, that’s for sure).
For this reason, we have a particularly well-built Great Mondaydact Browser Buster for you here today, because DST is stupid, it makes us all stupid, and therefore all we are fit to do on a day like this is to ask stupid questions. Lots of them.
So let’s ask a bunch of really dumb questions, just for shits and giggles:
Will you ever be able to afford your very own Death Star?
USS Enterprise or Imperial Star Destroyer – which one wins in a battle?
How many plates can you break when throwing an axe?
Can you actually hit anything by dual-wielding guns?
Can an 80-year-old judo master toss around someone one third his age and three times his size like a ragdoll?
Does wing chun actually work against a guy with like 5 black belts?
Who does the best accompaniment to the classic C&C song, “Hell March”?
His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, the Chaddest of Chads, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, does NOT have kind things to say about Fake President Greenscreen McNappyFace Oatmeal-for-Brains:
Former US president Donald Trump has suggested that Joe Biden should have nothing to do with Ukraine, alluding to the controversial business dealings of the incumbent US president’s son in the ex-Soviet state.
Trump spoke in front of a huge GOP rally in Commerce, Georgia on Saturday, and insisted that “the invasion of Ukraine should never have happened,” while also blaming Biden, whom he slammed as a “sleepy son of a b****,” for being unable to prevent it.
“We have a president that has no idea what the hell he’s doing and has no idea even where he is. The fake news, they’re trying to say he’s acting brilliantly,” he said. But, according to Trump, this isn’t the case at all, because currently “Ukraine is being bombed to s**t!”
“Joe Biden should recuse himself from anything having to do with Ukraine because of how much money they’re getting from Ukraine. They’ve taken in a fortune,” he said, referring to what he believes is alleged corrupt activity between the president’s son, Hunter Biden, and a Ukrainian gas company.
Say whatever you like about Orange Mean Tweet Guy – it’s IMPOSSIBLE to imagine him stumbling into a global economic entrapment the way that the Daemoncrats and neoclowns have done. That’s why Trump is God-Emperor, of course.
#BasedTucker is Based
Mar 21, 2022
Mar 22, 2022
Mar 23, 2022
Mar 24, 2022
Mar 25, 2022
Dawn of Battle
The Male Brain is here to relieve the monotony of this Monday with some mischievous malefaction. We begin with an Honest Trailer from Screen Junkies about the umpteenth film role where Ryan Reynolds essentially plays himself:
Complain all you like about the lack of acting range that Reynolds has – he basically plays the same lovable goofball in EVERY. SINGLE. MOVIE. EVER. But he IS married to Blake Lively, apparently very happily, and he IS a multi-gazillionaire, and he IS absurdly handsome, and he DOES have 3 adorable kids. By any conventional measure, he’s WINNING.
See what I mean? His wife actually LIKES to cook, AND she looks like THAT.
FreedomToons breaks down the drive to go to war with Russia in a way that we can all understand:
Been a while since we’ve had JP Sears here, so let’s fix that post haste:
Men truly are better at EVERYTHING, including being 4-star female admirals.
The Infographics Show explains why you’d be turned into shish-kebab in about 10 seconds in the Roman Empire:
AlternateHistoryHub examines what might have happened if Russia had joined NATO – which actually wasn’t a crazy idea as little as 20 years ago, believe it or not:
That being said… it was STILL a dumb idea, even back then.
Viva la Dirt League brutally disabuses us all of the notion that we have any free will – at least, in gaming:
New channel here called Solid jj, explaining how the advent of search engine technology makes the Riddler completely useless:
You know, I once skipped a Sunday powerlifting workout to finish Batman: Arkham Origins, in which I took on The Riddler, because the game was damned addictive and awesome. Now I’m having a bit of an existential crisis, because clearly, that was a HUGE waste of time after watching that video.
Poli-ticking Off
Mark Dice can’t stop laughing at the sheer genius of Alex Stein, whose shtick is just brilliant:
Actually, as you’ll see from the March 25th edition of #BasedTucker, Alex is also a huge fan of the one and only Tucker, and he even looks a bit like his idol.
Bill Whittle and his friends take on the mentally ill dude who thinks he’s a dame and is beating the hell out of women at their own sport in the process:
Actually, I suspect that this dude, “Lia” Thomas is crazy like a fox. He knows that he’s a mediocre swimmer, at best, in the men’s division, so he’s pretending to be a woman, and thereby kicking ass and taking names and winning praise and adulation from all of the Right People.
He’s also proving, yet again, that men are better at EVERYTHING – including being women.
Of course, he’ll pay for his nonsense eventually. The Lord of Lies always – ALWAYS – comes a-knocking to drag his minions down to Hell when the time comes.
China Uncensored tries to figure out DAFUQ HAPPENED when a Chinese Boeing 737 turned into a lawn dart:
First things first – I am deeply sorry for the families of those who died in the accident. I hope that the cause of the accident will be discovered quickly, and the guilty parties punished thoroughly to the fullest extent possible.
The 737 in question WAS NOT a 737-MAX – there was a bit of speculation about that at the time of the crash, but that has been definitively established. It was something else. Speculation exists that the crash was due to pilot error and inexperience. At this point, it remains precisely that – speculation.
America Uncovered gets whiplash trying to keep up with how fast The New York F***ing Slimes changes its mind about the Laptop From Hell:
Jared Taylor from American Renaissance points out that censorship is as American as apple pie:
Righteous Rantery
Paul Ramsey and Sasha tackle the issue of cancel culture:
PJW can’t stop laughing at the Reddit Bros who thought that going to Banderastan on a snow-nigger safari was a Good Idea:
I have NO SYMPATHY, at all, for anyone who went to Ukraine to fight the Russians. They are not up against a bunch of goathumpers in Afghanistan. Nor are they fighting against undisciplined, disorganised Arab braggarts. They are fighting against Russians, who have complete air supremacy, know what they are fighting for and why, and are well stocked and supplied by one of the best general staffs in the world, and whose officers lead from the front.
This is not some disorganised and incapable rabble. This is a hard-as-nails fighting force that is showing the entire world just what it is capable of in real-world combined-arms joint-force military operations.
The lovely and charming Dr. Sam Bailey explains what happened when REAL scientists, doing REAL scientody, got a hold of the Pfizer not-vaxx and examined it under a microscope. This one is important:
Lord Razor of the Fist Clan says that, whatever The Thing is, he’s all for it, until The Thing changes to Another Thing:
His wider point goes well beyond the Banderastani War. It’s important to think for yourself and have your own opinion. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong, just because you’re unpopular.
Warriors of Faith
The Dizzle did a great livestream hangout with his buddies Al Fadi and The Apostate Prophet:
Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms explains why the differences between the Hafs and Warsh not-Korans are so important:
Al-Fadi from CIRA International and The Dizzle note that Mo’Lester, the “model for all Mankind”, was actually a serious sadist:
Dr. Frank Turek from Cross Examined notes the futility of being angry with God:
I know what that’s like. Trust me on this one, lads – DO NOT test God. He won’t just line you up for a paddling – it will be more like a KEW strike directed with pinpoint accuracy on your head.
Manly Men of Manliness
Terrence Popp goes curiously and very badly wrong in his latest Live From the Lair episode:
He and I are clearly getting our information from completely different sources. The Russians ARE NOT fighting this war the way that Americans would fight it. They are fighting a land warfare campaign – at which they genuinely excel – and are acting methodically, carefully, precisely, and without any real sense of rush. They aren’t fighting to take territory. They are fighting to destroy armies. This is a TOTALLY different way of warfare from what the Americans understand.
Joker from Better Bachelor notes that Hollyweird has gotten so ridiculous, even they can’t figure out who they are anymore:
Burn Paedowood to the Ground
Midnight’s Edge points out that Florida’s excellent and very sensible anti-woke bill hsa turned the Devil Mouse Cold Civil War white-hot:
Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock adds his thoughts to that situation:
Gary from Nerdrotic cannot stop marvelling at Marvel’s self-immolation:
The Drinker explains the background to the disaster that was Justice League, the movie – not the animated series, both seasons of which were amazing, as was the follow-up, Justice League Unlimited:
Reading Too Much Into Things
Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week is from The Male Brain, and sounds like just a HORRIBLE idea all around:
The US could soon be swarming with genetically altered mosquitoes after the Environmental Protection Agency approved a plan to test the insects.
It is hoped the new altered mosquitoes will ward off their natural, disease-causing counterparts.
Biotechnology company Oxitec has developed altered Aedes aegypti mosquitoes which have been genetically modified so that males, which do not bite, are released into the wild and mate with females, which do bite.
Their offspring, either male or female, never survive to reach maturity, according to the company.
Last year millions of mosquitoes were released in the Florida Keys in a pilot project last year and the EPA on Monday gave the green light to extending the project in Florida as well as expanding it into four counties in California, pending approval from the states’ regulators.
Oxitec head of global public affairs Meredith Fensom said while the EPA approval covers one Florida county and four in California and the release of more than 2billion genetically altered male mosquitoes across the states, the launch is planned to be much more limited – covering only the Florida Keys and expanding to Visalia in Tulare County, California.
You read it here first, boys: the Great Dengue Plague of 2022 started with a really dumb idea involving genetically modified mozzies.
Your long read of the week is from Alexey Gryazev, a Russian journalist – the real kind, not the whorenalist type that you find in the West – writing for RT, about the inevitability of the Russian pushback against NATO expansion:
“I want to make it clear to everyone, both in our country and abroad, to our partners, that it’s not even about the line that we don’t want anyone to cross. The fact is that we have nowhere to retreat. They have pinned us against a line from which, sorry for the bad manners, we have nowhere to retreat,” President Vladimir Putin stated at the end of December 2021, almost two months before he ordered the assault on Ukraine.
At the time, Moscow was trying to come to an agreement with NATO on mutual security, hoping that the US-led bloc would agree to provide comprehensive written guarantees that it would not expand any further, to the east. Not only Putin, but also other Russian officials, talked about ‘red lines’ that posed a serious threat, with ominous consequences for the world, if crossed.
The existence of these red lines – most notably against NATO expansion into Ukraine – is not some subjective concept born in the minds of Russia’s current leadership. Oddly enough, they were being discussed in the West long before they became the subject of conversation in the Kremlin.
In 1998, George Kennan, an American diplomat and historian known as the ‘architect of the Cold War’, said NATO expansion would mean nothing less than “the beginning of a new Cold War,” warning that it would be a “tragic mistake.”
“Of course, this will provoke a bad reaction from Russia. And when that happens, [those who made decisions about NATO expansion] will say that we have always told you the Russians are like that. But it’s just not true,” he said.
In 1997, 50 prominent foreign policy experts, including former senators, military leaders, and diplomats, sent an open letter to then-President Bill Clinton outlining their opposition to NATO expansion. “It is a policy error of historic proportions,” they wrote.
Conservative political commentator Pat Buchanan wrote in his 1999 book ‘A Republic, Not an Empire’, “By moving NATO onto Russia’s front porch, we have scheduled a twenty-first-century confrontation.”
The current director of the CIA, William Burns, said in 2008 that for Russia, “Ukraine’s accession to NATO is the brightest of all red lines.”
The neoclowns, the US establishment, the military, and all of NATO assumed for twenty years that Putin was bluffing. They were utter idiots to do so. Putin DOES NOT BLUFF. That much has always been a consistent and clear aspect of his character, as any serious study will tell you. When he knows he cannot win a fight, he doesn’t start one. But when he wants to rip someone’s throat out, he does so.
Linkage is good for you:
- According to the Ukies, if you are not for them, you are by definition against them – to which the Hungarians basically respond, “up yours”;
- Amazingly, even the Scandicucks appear to be capable of learning from their own stupidity, because the Danes have made it VERY clear that Ukrainian refugees will not be allowed to stay permanently;
- I rag on Toe Rogan a lot, but I will say this – he is nothing if not consistent in calling out hypocrisy, as he pointed out that until very recently, the presstitutes were actually willing to write about Ukrainian corruption and graft;
- If you ask the Greek Ukrainians (yes, really) of Mariupol’ who did the most to persecute them, they will tell you that it was the Ukies, NOT the Russians;
- For all that Ted Rall is a Leftist, and therefore wrong about the most important things in life, he is still absolutely right about the fact that most of what Ukraine and the West say about the war there are lies;
- Mike Whitney points out the by-now-rather-obvious fact that NATO desperately WANTS a ground war in Ukraine – never mind that it will lose such a war, handily;
- The redoubtable Ilana Mercer notes that even in the Bible, a truly good leader always tries to negotiate with his enemies to preserve his people, for as long as possible – and by that standard, Ze is a TERRIBLE leader;
- Pat “Mr. Paleoconservative” Buchanan argues that the partition of Ukraine is now nearly inevitable, and may be the only way to ensure a lasting peace – he is correct, and that is precisely what will happen;
- Does anyone remember Valentina Tereshkova? She was the first woman in space, and then became a noted Russian politician, and still serves in the Duma to this very day;
- The great Dr. Ron Paul notes that the reason why everything is both smaller AND more expensive is because of central banks, and getting rid of them would make everything better – and he’s right;
- Microsoft, the formerly American tech titan now run by Indians, and now the world’s most valuable company by market cap, is also shoulders-deep in bribery scandals, which is not in the least bit surprising if you know Indian culture;
- It cannot be stated often enough that “nice guys” are all too often stalkers, creeps, and passive-aggressive emotionally unstable jackasses, and both women AND men need to learn this lesson fast;
- China is gearing up to float its third “ski-jump” aircraft carrier, which still puts it FAR behind the massive American flattop behemoths – not, of course, that this makes any real difference, as you’ll see next;
- Just because the Chinese aircraft carriers cannot match American ones, though, does not mean that the US could win a Pacific war against the Chinese PLA-N, because US carriers are massive floating ducks for Chinese defence systems;
- And that is all BEFORE we get to the fact that the F-22 and F-35 are just too damned expensive and fragile to risk in an actual shooting war against anyone, let alone the Chinese;
And some more from Dawn Pine:
- Right, lads, who had “huge-ass comet twice the size of the one that killed the dinos and moving 4x as fast” in the 2126 Doomsday Apocalypse Bingo Sweepstakes pool?’;
- Apparently, Tesla’s “Launch Mode” feature can allow you to send a Tesla Model S flying, and yes, that’s every bit as epic and awesome as it sounds;
- Steven Seagal does not appear to be quite finished embarrassing himself in public, and now claims that he used to work for the CIA – which is not the first time he’s made that claim, by the way;
- The Russians have banned Facebook and Instagram from their country – though you can still access it there via VPN – and I’d say it’s about bloody time;
- Contrary to what you might think, cryptocurrencies in general are not actually decentralised, and in fact they are becoming more centralised by the day, especially when you look at specific subsectors like stablecoins;
- While we’re all watching Ukraine being torn apart, we’re forgetting about various wars in other shithole countries – like Cameroon, where there is a major civil war raging right now that absolutely no one cares about;
- Yet more archaeological evidence emerges to support the Biblical story of Joshua – say it with me, lads, THE BIBLE IS AN HISTORICAL DOCUMENT;
MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOZHUN!!!
The Neo-Tsar has put into place a law stating that any veterans of the Banderastani War will be eligible for a number of special privileges – and that the families of the fallen will be looked after by the state, with housing, education, transportation, pensions, and other needs taken care of:
A country that actually takes care of its veterans – wouldn’t that be something…
Those Who Fail To Learn From History…
History lessons of the week:
HALO Nation
Here’s something you don’t see every day:
Also, Ryan Kinel reports that the HALO TV series turned out pretty much the way most of us expected – i.e. SHIT:
Hands up if you’re surpr- yep, that’s what I thought. Precisely NOBODY gives a shit about the HALO TV series, because we ALL knew this was coming.
And now, let’s watch slayergod Mint Blitz do his thing – today’s example is, even by HIS standards, absolutely bonkers:
That’s Not Gone Well…
Wazzocks gonna wazzock:
Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:
Comedy hour:
Pictionary, Pulchritude, Pew-Pews
Headlines of the week indicate that natural gas emissions are a real problem, and not just the Russian kind:
Your “Trust the SCIENCE!” moment of the week:
Your “Nobody Likes Canadians” moment of the week:
Your “IT’S ALL PUTIN’S FAULT!” moment of the week:
Y’all notice how the trigger discipline and the cup size has a strongly positive correlation? Jus’ sayin’… That’ll make MrUNIVAC happy, for sure.
Animal Planet
Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:
And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:
The Lords of Steel
Gym beast props this week go to the legendary powerlifting athlete and strength coach, Louie Simmons, who just passed away a few days ago:
Louie caused more than a few controversies in his life, not least due to his positions on steroids (he had no problem with them) and the issues that some strength coaches have with his Conjugate Training Method. But he was a legend nonetheless, and he will be greatly missed.
Wise Uncle Chael the American Gangster notes that Toe Rogan is handing out some perhaps unwanted, but still very sensible, advice to “The Notorious” Conor Macgregor:
Jesus loves knockouts:
Icecapades
Shufflin’ keeps things groovin’
She’s actually pretty damn strong and fit, too:
She’s also preggers. Hearty congratulations to her – it is wonderful news.
The Lords of Steel
#RazorbladeMeltdown
Hot Totty
And here we are, after considerable noodling about – the Instathot to get the week off to the more-or-less-right start. This here is Kellie Stewart, age 24, born and raised in Fort Worth, (God Bless!) Texas, who was apparently a Miss Texas in 2014 as part of the Miss Teen USA pageant circuit. (Heck if I know what word one of that means.) Beyond that, she’s signed to a modelling agency to do… um… modelling things, I suppose. (Look, I just find ’em, doesn’t mean I have the first clue what to do with ’em.)
I suspect she’s had… shall we say, her bumpers bumped up, as it were, judging by some of her pictures. But that’s hardly surprising and she would certainly be far from the first to do so.
That’s it, quit gawking and goldbricking and get your butt back to work.
2 Comments
Far as “Live from the Lair” goes, this is part and parcel of what I see all over the US. Everything is analyzed in the American perspective as opposed to Russian. Pretty frustrating, because a lot of the sources I read and hear have this viewpoint.
Mine differs. I don’t think they are bogged down whatsoever. And I don’t think resistance is all that formidable. People like Popp spent a few weeks crowing about the ‘stuck convoy’. Well, they just didn’t count on Ukraine conditions. Well, they have poor maintenance and Chinese Tires. OK, at face value, so what? So where was this formidable resistance? Not so much as a pea shooter shot at them.
Interestingly, not one voice I’ve heard has been any sort of Russian expert. For instance, where TF is Condoleezza Rice? Aren’t the Russkies her stock in trade? Not. One. Peep.
All I hear is projection, making Putin the booger-man. If you have a memory for more than a month ago, he seems to have been remarkably consistent. They didn’t take him seriously. Hope they do now. Probably not.
If you listen to the man, and realize the goal; Western Ukraine cut loose as a rump state, Eastern as part of Russia or independent, UKraine military castrated, Nazi’s Dead, and no more lips flapping about NATO, it all makes sense.
Icing on the cake here for Putin, is neutering the dollar. I’m sure China was in on it. You can’t do what Joey IceCreamCone has done, and hyper inflate our currency to the detriment of the entire world that has to transact in dollars.
He literally pulled the bricks from the foundation, which now has caused the building to sway. The US economy is literally Wile.E.Coyote seconds after jumping off the cliff, just before the surprised face. Soon it’ll be falling to a poof of dust.
Gonna be ugly for the grabblers. They thought they’d profit from this.