“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

When REKTallica had a real drummer

by | Jan 8, 2025 | Office Space | 3 comments

For years, I have been VERY harsh about one Larzzzz Ulrich, founder, drummer, and leader of Metallica – a band that I consider to be hugely overhyped and overrated. That being said, there was a time, back in my teens, when I did listen quite a bit to their magnum opus, Master of Puppets. And I will admit that, even today, it remains a watershed moment in the history of heavy metal. It is nowhere near as good as MEGADETH’s Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying?, in terms of songwriting, technicality, musicianship, or impact, but it was (and largely remains) the standard by which almost every thrash metal band is judged by metalheads everywhere.

None of that changes the fact that Larzzz can’t drum for shit.

That is not merely my opinion, which counts for less than fox faeces on the subject of drumming:

All you have to do, is to watch Larzzz play with REKTallica (doesn’t matter whether it is live or in the studio) to realise just how badly off he is with his timing, speed, precision, and technical skills:

Indeed, the following, while obviously a joke, is not that far off from the experience of watching LARRRRZZZZZZZZZ!!!! play:

To understand just how badly off he is with his drumming – which is inexcusable, given REKTallica’s (in my view undeserved) stature in the world of heavy metal – you really have to listen to and watch clips of their 2004 performance at the Download festival.

Back then, Larzzz had to skip the gig, because he was feeling rather unwell – and, to be absolutely fair, he had tremendous pressures weighing on him, due to the impending failure of his marriage, and the challenges of putting together the (unlistenable, in my view) St. Anger album. Metallica had to scramble to find some replacements for their headlining gig at the Download festival.

(Fun fact: I attended that exact festival, that same year. No, seriously. My buddy and I went there on the first day, so we saw OPETH, MONSTER MAGNET, CRADLE OF FILTH, THE HIVES, and IGGY & THE STOOGES. From what I recall, OPETH were great, MONSTER MAGNET were awesome, COF were… well, I have no idea what the hell Dani Filth was singing, so I cannot comment, and THE HIVES absolutely sucked. IGGY POP looked… weird. We did not stick around for the second day, when REKTallica were headlining, because neither of us were interested in the bands on the list, except maybe SLAYER.)

So the band roped in Joey Jordison from SLIPKNOT (definitely not a band I listen to), and…

DAVE LOMBARDO.

Yeah. THAT Dave Lombardo:

And you have to experience what happened next, to understand just how atrociously bad Larzzz really is:

The video from the full set is available online, too, and it makes for compelling viewing:

Witness the difference. The rhythm section is simply TRANSFORMED into a percussive tidal wave that sweeps away all before it. Lombardo, in particular, absolutely DESTROYED the drums on “Battery”.

Compare that, with listening to Larzzz play – well, murder – “The Call of Ktulu” – you need to skip to about 4 minutes in:

Just… ouch.

Now imagine what REKTallica could have become, if Cliff Burton were still alive, and they had a real, serious, skilled drummer, who regularly practices and knows how to sustain extreme time signatures and hits with genuine power – someone like Paul Bostaph or, praise God, Gene Hoglan. The sheer power and force of a band like that, would crush all before it.

And now, stand to attention and doff your caps, gentlemen, because we are about to experience REAL thrash metal, done right by REAL musicians:

Subscribe to Didactic Mind

* indicates required
Email Format

Recent Thoughts

If you enjoyed this article, please:

  • Visit the Support page and check out the ways to support my work through purchases and affiliate links;
  • Email me and connect directly;
  • Share this article via social media;

3 Comments

  1. Patrick

    It is remarkable how well the rest of the band plays despite of Lars’ drumming! Do they have a click track on their monitor and just ignore Lars, who is just playing along rather than leading the band?
    Look at the issues Iron Maiden had on the recent tour with Wasted Years, as Adrian Smith could no longer 100% rely on Nicko McBrain’s timing during his solo.
    At Metallica, they’re used to play to the drums that are totally off.

    Reply
    • Didact

      I agree. Much as I dislike Metallica, I have to admit, my respect for James, Kirk, and especially Robert went up dramatically after I realised how badly handicapped they are by such a horrible timekeeper. The fact that all three of them can keep soldiering on, and can still sound reasonably good and coherent live, is astonishing, given the total yutz on the skins who looks like he is in Special Needs, and sounds like he is having a spaz attack.

      Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Didactic Mind Archives

Didactic Mind by Category