I first started watching STAR WARS seriously as a teenager, and got to be an avid fan of the series, for many years. Throughout the 1990s and 2000s, I consumed vast amounts of the Expanded Universe lore – right up until the point where LucasArts released the godawful “Legacy of the Force” series, which undid so much of the already established lore. By the time 2012 rolled around, I had essentially given up on the whole thing, but I still retained a great deal of affection for the original films.

There was something simple and very appealing about the story. A ragtag band of freedom fighters, struggling against a vast and overwhelming galactic Empire, led by an evil Emperor and his terrifying cyborg henchman – it is a great story, or at least, it seems to be, on the surface.

However, time, age, and perspective has taught me that perhaps the Empire was actually in the right. This is especially true after watching the abominations unleashed upon the canon by the House of the Devil Mouse, which has done so much to invert everything that was great about the original movies.

For one thing, as Our Beloved and Dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH), Voxemort the Most Malevolent and Terrible, pointed out, via his friend, Owen Benjamin:

To celebrate May the 4th we should all appreciate what a Boomer institution Star Wars is:

• Luke forsook his rural upbringing to take part in a political campaign he had no place in.
• Leah [sic] was a strong independent feminist.
• Obi-Wan was a childless hippie who devoted his life to eastern mysticism.
• Han is a wandering deadbeat who lives with his dog and is obsessed with his car.
• Darth Vader abandoned his family to pursue his career.
• The robots are in an openly gay relationship.
• Everyone treats the empire like the great evil while fully enjoying the comforts and protections it provides.

And that is before we get to a very interesting (well, for certain definitions of the word) part of the old lore, from before the Devil Mouse takeover.

Back when the “New Jedi Order” series was still part of the canon, a new generation of writers, starting with R. A. Salvatore, introduced a terrifying enemy into the STAR WARS universe, called the Yuuzhan Vong. This was a conglomeration of extra-galactic invaders, travelling the frozen void between galaxies on gigantic worldships, with no connection to the Force, and worshipping pain and suffering. They routinely disfigured and mutilated their own bodies, and cultivated bio-organic weapons and starships, as their religion dictated that anything mechanical was an abomination.

As the storylines evolved, the authors weaved the Yuuzhan Vong into the backstory of the legendary Grand Admiral Thrawn:

As the old lore points out, Thrawn – a tactical, operational, and strategic genius of unparalleled skill – encountered the early exploration fleets of the Vong, as they probed the Unknown Regions and stumbled upon the Chiss Ascendancy. He instinctively and immediately understood the deadly dangers posed by these “Far Outsiders”, as the Chiss called them, and did his level best to prepare the Chiss for their full-scale invasion.

When he then came across the Old Republic’s Outbound Project, and met with Darth Sidious‘s agent, Kinman Doriana, he realised the forthcoming Galactic Empire was the only force that could possibly stop the Far Outsiders. So, as he observed the rise of the Empire, he arranged for himself to be captured and brought before the Emperor – eventually becoming one of his most trusted, capable, and feared servants.

And, in the process, he impressed upon the Emperor the need to prepare the galaxy for the invasion of the Vong:

So, you see, the Rebellion actually disrupted the urgent project the Emperor had in mind, to protect the entire galaxy from invasion. And, as such, they committed a great and terrible evil.

Pulling back from a fantasy Boomercuck universe that very clearly has gone completely off the rails, thanks to spectacularly terrible mismanagement by the House of the Devil Mouse, we can see just how badly the Boomer ideals of dumbocracy and freedumb have played out in the modern West.

The downfall of STAR WARS is a very good modern parallel for the downfall of the West, if you think about it. The STAR WARS universe subscribes to a vague, woolly, incoherent Eastern style of mysticism that passes no judgement, imposes no real serious moral code, and has no particular path or direction to offer. In stark contrast, the Empire stands for order, simplicity, uniformity, and a civilised, if imposed, peace – and it is not accidental that the Empire was entirely dominated by straight White men in all positions of power.

In other words – the Empire represented everything the Boomers hated, and wanted to destroy.

They got their wish. Look at the results in the West, where you now have millions of illegal immigrants of military age – i.e. the Vong – flooding into America and the Western nations, a total rejection of Christianity and God and the order that such a belief system brings, and the subversion of all family values and good sense.

All the more reason, as far as I am concerned, to bid goodbye to STAR WARS on May the Fourth, and move on to greener pastures. That universe has been irredeemably corrupted – and may well have been so from the beginning.