Oh what a miserable Monday… And it really is miserable, out where I am in the boonies. The weather has been extra crappy this weekend and into today, and it doesn’t look like it will improve anytime soon. You know shit’s gettin’ weird when it’s supposed to be winter, and yet it’s 12 degrees (Celsius) and raining and humid. I blame global cooling. Let’s all buy SUVs and warm up the planet until it’s nice and toasty warm.

Nonetheless, there is much joy to be found amidst these trying times, which is of course why the Great Mondaydact Browser Breaker exists – to shove that joy straight into the nearest desk fan and spread it all around. So let’s get started with the most Schadenboner-inducing bit of news in YEARS:

The conviction of former Empire actor Jussie Smollett on charges of faking a hate crime. Against himself.

The details of the case are so hilariously STOOPID that it would actually be an understatement to call Juicy Smooyay dumber than a bag of rocks. Indeed, I argue it would be an insult – to the bag of rocks.

This dude wrote a personal cheque to two Nigerian bodybuilder brothers, filmed a rehearsal of the stunt, and then went ahead with it anyway. He wandered outside at Zero-Dark Thirty on an absolutely frigid morning in Chicago – not exactly a hotbed of Trump support – to get a sandwich from Subway, and then claimed that he got jumped by two big burly White guys who punched him, threw him onto the pavement, called him all kinds of obscenities, poured bleach on him, and tied a noose around his neck.

The story was so patently idiotic that it didn’t withstand even ten minutes’ worth of serious scrutiny. Yet everyone and his dog ran with it. But, almost immediately, holes began appearing in his narrative, and he had to spin harder and faster on his cycle of lies to keep things going.

Needless to say, it didn’t work out too well:

Gutfeld! and company had an absolute field day trashing Juicy – but all of the other networks were oddly silent about the whole thing. I wonder why that is…:

At any rate, let’s hope that this asshole gets the book thrown at him – he won’t, obviously, since he’s Black, gay, and liberal, which means he has privilege up the ass (along with other, unmentionable, things), but we can hope:

And let’s not forget what Dave Chapelle had to say about it all:

Y’know, it’s not often that the good guys win one anymore, so when we see a dumbass like Juicy getting bitchslapped by karma, I have to admit, it’s really satisfying.

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#BasedTucker is based:

You have to admire #BasedTucker‘s ability to deliver the entirety of the next segment with a completely straight face:

I would have fallen off my chair laughing about 10 seconds into that monologue.

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The Male Brain is back after some much-needed R&R, and he’s been busy this past week. We start with some great videos from JP Sears, since we haven’t had him here for a while:

The mad geniuses behind South Park understand perfectly well what these new “variants” are all about – power, control, and domination over the weak:

Once again, we turn to John Stossel to explain the basic facts to us:

Cracked continue their quest to become funny again (they’ve been succeeding, actually, so let’s give them their due) with a new honest ad about crowdfunding platforms:

Here’s a new channel – Firearms Unknown breaks down what happens when you insist on calling everyone NOT-SEES!!! all the time:

Twitter is cancer – especially now that it’s run by an Indian, which means that it will become ever more awful by the day.

It’s also been a while since we had the acerbic wit of Sydney Watson featured around here:

Some notes from Dawn Pine himself:

1. Porn causes desensitization, thus encouraging abominations;
2. Chicks tap into that to get attention;
3. “Society needs a hard reset” (19:00);
4. As a father of girls, the P-files make me sick.

And now let’s turn our attention to some very interesting mathematical problems, courtesy of Quanta Magazine:

Well, OK, I’m a mathematician by training, so it’s interesting to ME, but the Riemann Conjecture is indeed very fascinating, just for its own sake.

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Our man in the field, Randale6, has some great videos to contribute this week as well. He’s sent over a couple of videos from the co-creator of the Flashgitz channel – this chap goes by the handle of Meatcanyon. This is how our LRFotS puts it:

“Think of meatcanyon as an oncoming trainwreck full of sad clowns high as hell on meth, it’s terrible to watch but at the same time you can’t take your gaze away.”

Well, with that… ummm… warning in mind, here goes:

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Our friend Randale6 being the HUGE WARHAMMER fan that he is, I’ve got one for him now – the WARHAMMER 40,000: SPACE MARINE 2 game trailer just dropped, and my wig, but it’s awesome!:

This appears to be the follow-up game that those of us who played the original 2011 game have been waiting a DECADE to play. It seems to hold true to the grimdark aesthetic and extreme violence that made the original such an appealing “hack-and-shoot” game. I reviewed the first game in one of my first articles for the long-defunct Reaxxion site, and it still stands out today as one of the most brain-meltingly loud and over-the-top violently brutal games that you can play, just for shits and giggles. And yet, it was also lore-accurate and deeply immersive.

If the new game can maintain that same standard, we’re in for a real treat.

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Mark Dice cannot contain his glee after seeing the guilty verdict in the Juicy Smooyay case:

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Dave from Blue Collar Logic doesn’t quite seem to understand why Trump voters are so darned pissed off about the electoral sham in Georgia:

See, Dave, this is why we on the Hard Right think that you conservatives are a bunch of losers. You literally don’t seem to understand that the electoral process is utterly corrupted. Losers like Dave Morrison just want to accept the loss, take their ball, and slink home in Noble Defeat, in order to get on with living under the new rules.

This is why conservatives can’t conserve a single damned thing, except maybe the Second Amendment (and that too with quite a lot of caveats). They just don’t learn. They simply don’t get that you need to hold the Left accountable, and that means potentially absorbing some pretty devastating short-term losses in order to beat the Left in the Long War.

The conservative view is a myopic, go-along-to-get-along, conflict-avoidant, and deeply stupid mindset that has conceded literally every battle to the Left for decades, while muttering vague imprecations about, “next time, just you try that again one more time, and you’ll see what we do!!!”

The Left knows full well that conservatives won’t lift a finger to help those who are actually fighting on their side. They will instead turn with violent hostility on those on the Right who are trying to fight back, because “uncivil behaviour” or some such, while aiding and abetting the Left’s violent overthrow of every cultural and moral norm.

Don’t expect too much more time to elapse before the Dave Morrisons of the world tell us to accept corrupted elections as normal. That’s exactly what conservatives did with homosexuality and transgenderism.

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Jason Siler, on the other hand, appears to have no problem with hoisting the Left on its own retarded petard, particularly when it comes to idiots like Juicy Smooyay:

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Bill Whittle and his friends examine a Jesus-based TV series that might actually have some legs to it:

This appears to be a Christian TV series with some real skill and talent behind it, beyond just Scriptural fidelity. The big problem with Christian film-making is that it is quite… cheesy. That’s just the truth. The last really good Christian film that I saw was Risen, which was anything but cheesy. Since then, though… nothin‘.

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Paul Ramsey notes that there is ZERO appetite amongst the American people for yet another Forever War, especially one fought against Russia for the sake of a corrupt Ukronazi regime:

If America goes to war against Russia, IT. WILL. LOSE. The Russians aren’t a bunch of lazy uncoordinated Arabs. Their military is tough, capable, modern, technologically advanced, and willing to learn hard lessons. War has been part of the Russian way of life for A THOUSAND YEARS. And Russia is nuclear-armed, with hypersonic missiles that America cannot stop.

About the only major downside of the Russian military is the fact that, as LTC Tom Kratman pointed out recently, they are slow to mobilise and have poor operational capabilities.

But that isn’t going to stop them from stomping all over the Ukrainians, and their American puppet-masters, if they have no other choice.

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PJW doesn’t know whether to be amused or in despair over the way that memes predict real life:

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The lovely and charming Dr. Sam Bailey reads out excerpts from a pretty hard-hitting, and fascinating, paper about the realities of the Coof Scamdemic:

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The Dizzle keeps finding hilarious, and horrible, new ways to humiliate the Izzlamists:

So the early Izzlamists were repressed homos and paedos? That would actually explain quite a lot.

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Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms and his friend Thomas Alexander continue to unpack the Inara School’s understanding of the Fake Religion of Peace:

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Al-Fadi from CIRA International has teamed up with The Dizzle to explain why atheism is not, in fact, a particularly good or useful alternative to the Fake Religion of Pieces:

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Melissa Doherty with Cross Examined helps Christians understand the realities of “past life memories”:

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China Uncensored gets all hot and bothered about Chinese facial recognition technology:

As fun as it is to bag on the CCP for their evil ways – and they ARE evil – what, exactly, is the difference between them and the techno-elites that run the Western world, at this point?

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America Uncovered continues its hilarious coverage of the clown car crash that is the Juicy Smooyay case:

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Terrence Popp explains how “newkewlurh weapons” actually work:

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Midnight’s Edge notes and investigates the rather curious disappearance of Star Trek: Discovery from Netherflix’s back-catalogue:

Since the show is literally called ST:D, and is as gangrenous, diseased, and disgusting as such a name might suggest, I reckon that Netherflix realised it needed a solid dose of serious antibiotics, and did what it had to do.

Of course, if a company as twisted and evil as NETHERFLIX nixes a show, that should tell you plenty about just how appallingly stupid and bad it really is.

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Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock is not impressed by DC Comics’s replacement of the Son of Krypton with Homoman:

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Gary from Nerdrotic takes a certain, extremely sadistic yet entirely justified, pleasure in watching Santa Inc. crash and burn, taking the, uh, “careers” of Sarah Silverman and Cuck Rogen with it:

Sarah Silverman has – or rather, had – very nice big boobs. But now that she has pancaked into the Wall at about 200mph, all she has left is an increasingly irritating voice and non-existent comedic skills. Not enough, I warrant, to stay relevant in this day and age.

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The Drinker wishes that people would just stop trying to reanimate the shambling corpse of the Resident Evil franchise on film:

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Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week concerns a particularly weird new type of jellyfish – as if the existing kinds weren’t nasty and disgusting enough:

Remarkable footage of a rarely seen giant deep sea jellyfish has been recorded by scientists off the coast of California. 

The giant but elusive creature, which was first officially documented in 1899, has only been filmed nine times over the course of thousands of dives in Monterey Bay and officially spotted just 110 times in 110 years worldwide. 

It lives anywhere from surface level to 21,900ft, but mostly sticks to an area called the twilight zone, which is too deep for most light to reach.

In the latest sighting, the mysterious phantom jellyfish was caught on camera by a deepwater robot at a depth of 3,200ft (990 metres). 

The amazing footage was taken by researchers at the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute (MBARI).

They managed to capture the deep sea creature, which has bizarre 33ft-long ‘mouth arms’ and is scientifically known as Stygiomedusa gigantea, from three different perspectives.

One angle shows the species’ 3.3ft-wide (1m) bell pulsing as its four long tentacles undulate beneath it, while a shot from above makes the jellyfish look more like a hat.

A wider look reveals the reddish purple coloured creature’s lengthy ‘mouth arms’, which scientists believe are used to grab and trap prey.

Here’s a picture of the bugger in question:

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Your long read of the week is from Makia Friedman over at Global Research with a piece about how you can go about handling the negative effects of the Coofpeck:

Databases worldwide are overflowing with reports of COVID vaccine injuries (adverse events) and deaths. As of the time of writing, the US-based VAERS database shows approximately 915,000 injuries including 20,000 deaths, which according to the 2010 Harvard Pilgram Study is underreported by a factor of 100 [for injuries]. As of the time of writing, the Europe-based EudraVigilance database (which tracks data from the 30 nations of the European Economic Area) records approximately 2,900,000 injuries including 31,000 deaths following the COVID shot. It would be fair to assume similar underreporting happens there, although it is hard to know for sure.

All the Big Pharma apologists and NWO-funded fact checkers are naturally eager to jump in and claim that this data is all just self-reported and doesn’t prove causation, however it doesn’t take a genius to see the trends here. Whatever the real stats, the fake-vaccine effects are devastating. However, there is some good news. If you or someone you know has taken the COVID shot, and is experiencing post-vaccine regret, there are some possible ways you can recover. Below is a list of options for COVID shot detox.

COVID Shot Detox: Self-Made Spike Proteins

Before I begin, I want to make something very clear. We’ve all been bombarded with the fear narrative of the dreaded spike protein of SARS-CoV-2. This is pure fiction. SARS-CoV-2 only exists in a digital viral database and is not an actual real-world virus. There is no isolated, real-life SARS-CoV-2 specimen.

Therefore, when I refer to spike proteins below, I am not talking about the spike proteins of an abstract virus. I am talking about the spike proteins your body has been genetically instructed to make (if you took the COVID shot). Remember, the various COVID chemical devices (fake-vaccines) on the market rewire your genes so you make spike proteins (either via mRNA, in the case of Pfizer and Moderna, or via an adenovirus, in the case of AstraZeneca and Johnson & Johnson). These spike proteins that your body makes then bind to your own ACE2 receptors or cause havoc in numerous other ways. Some of the remedies listed below are to detoxify these self-made spike proteins.

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Linkage is good for you – I’ll fix this tomorrow, just no time right now:

• The “inventor”, or one of them, of Bitcoin appears to have been unmasked, finally, though much of the Bitcoin community is extremely sceptical that this guy is in fact the mysterious “Satoshi Nakamoto”;
• If you’ve ever wondered whether this whole “non-fungible token” thing is a bubble, well, there’s a company turning the Coof’s “genetic sequence” into music, and then selling NFTs on top of that shit;
• Damian Wilson takes a close look at an intriguing new book that chronicles the slide into irrelevance and uselessness of Europe’s “mainstream right” (i.e., cuckservatives) and the rise of the Christian nationalist Right;
• The fairy in charge of Apple made a “deal with the devil”, or so Breitbart would like you to believe, with China in order to continue operating there – I just think the Chinese are shrewd operators who don’t put up with globalist stupidity;
• You know shit’s gettin’ meta when one not-vaxx creator gets BTFOd by another not-vaxx creator over allegations that its not-vaxx is better than the other guy’s not-vaxx, even though they’re both NOT VACCINES;
• Speaking of the not-vaxxes, it turns out that some of the side-effects of the not-vaxxes can easily be mistaken for the symptoms of the Coof itself, thereby showing, again, that not-vaxx is NOT-VAXX;
• Actor Henry Cavill isn’t just a great casting choice for Man of Steel, Mission: Impossible, The Witcher, and The Man from UNCLE – he’s also one of us, and a MASSIVE bona fide WARHAMMER 40K nerd;
• Depending on which article you read on The National Interest, EITHER the F-35 is the greatest thing since the bread-slicer, OR it is so clunky and buggy that the USAF has some serious doubts about its long-term viability;
• While we’re on the subject of hugely expensive boondoggles that don’t work out as planned, the US Navy’s brand-spanking-new stealth destroyer is getting destroyed by rust;
• The Daily Mail‘s resident homo, Dan Wootton, has serious harsh words for the Cuckservatives running PommieBastardLande right into the ground these days, and very little patience for their Prime Monster’s “Plan B” nonsense;
• CNN should really re-brand itself as the Creeper News Network, given that one of Fredo Cuomo’s former producers just got arrested for genuinely horrible crimes associated with underage girls;
• Pat “Mr. Paleoconservative” Buchanan runs down the roster of huge foreign policy problems confronting the Fake President, who has repeatedly shown that he has no clue how to tackle any of them;

And some more from Dawn Pine:

• To quote Dawn Pine himself about this story concerning Prince Harry’s ex, Florence St. George, “Thot thought (see what I did there?) that fame is great, and then learned the hard way about what that means”;
• We don’t generally do political endorsements for the smaller races around here, but The Male Brain reckons that Jeff Younger offers up some interesting possibilities for the Lone Star State, and he certainly has some solid ideas;
• When even multi-gazillionaires, especially ones like Elon Musk, who don’t particularly like big gubmint, tell you that civilisation is likely to collapse, you might wanna sit up and pay attention, at least a little bit;
• When Indians run companies, they do things in a very Indian way – like when one Vishal Shah, CEO of Better.com, fired 900 employees over Zoom, and then took time off after the act, which is a whole new way to lay people off;
• If your best friend won’t punch the shit out of a crocodile’s face to save your life, he or she probably ain’t your best friend;
• Here’s your latest “PommieBastardLande is F***ED” story – a young girl sued her mother and doctor for allowing her to be conceived, because she was born with spina bifida, and WON a shit-ton of money;
• Danny Dorling, who is some sort of professor at Oxford, clearly doesn’t understand the first damned thing about how authoritarian deep-statists think, because he’s asking when life will return to “normal” (answer: IT WON’T);
• If you’re the Chinese government, and you have to deal with extremely bad air quality damaging the health of your citizens, what are you more likely to do – address the root causes of the problem, or simply seed the air with chemicals to create rain that washes away the pollution itself?;
• Finally, some good news for a Monday, about an endangered whale giving birth while caught in a rope;
• Dubai is all set to create the world’s first floating sea-palace hotel, which is both good and bad – good, because awesome, and VERY VERY VERY BAD, because Dubai;
• This story about a man sticking an unexploded WWII shell up his ass (yes, seriously) makes you wonder why God doesn’t just hit the RESET button on the Universe already;
• The Prime Muenster of Finland is a hot 36-year-old chick, so when she goes out clubbing, despite hectoring her citizens not to do it, she doesn’t get hit with sanctions – unlike the little people that she “governs” over;
• As noted above by #BasedTucker, who could barely keep a straight face while talking about the story, there is indeed a beauty pageant for camels in Camelhumpistan, aka Saudi Arabia, and it is every bit as absurd as you might imagine;

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The Neo-Tsar shows the world exactly why he is who he is:

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History lessons of the week:

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Your Great Man of the Week is the legendary Roman tyrant, Sulla, whose rise to power presaged the end of the Republican system and the beginning of the Empire under Caesar:

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HALO Infinite is looking SUPERSERIOUS AWESOME AMAZEBALLS:

Judging by what my fellow L33T-speakers have told me about the game, it really is superb, and does a very great deal to undo the huge mistakes made in its predecessor.

Unlike most HALO fanatics, I regard HALO 4 as a superb game – it is the one that I enjoy playing the most out of the entire canon. But I’ll be the first to admit that it had some serious problems with respect to enemy AI and design. It was still vastly superior to what came afterwards, though.

This new game looks like it has recaptured the feelings of wonder and joy that the original trilogy created for us, while expanding greatly on the promise of the very first game with its open-world dynamics. I don’t like the fact that it has boss fights – this is just stupid, in my opinion, I’ve never seen the point of those, especially since both HALO: CE and HALO 4 didn’t have them in a format that we would recognise today – but I’ll tolerate them if the rest of the game is good. And it appears that this game, in particular, is REALLY good.

And now let’s watch Mint Blitz do his thing:

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Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

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While we are on the subject of automotive-related stupidity, let’s roast that hoary old chestnut – WOMEN WHO CAN’T BLOODY DRIVE PROPERLY:

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Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:

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Comedy hour:

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Pics, guns, girls, starting with some great stuff from The Male Brain:

DIDACT APPROVES. Thoroughly.

Onward:

Headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man has developed some decidedly dark tastes during lockdown:

Your “Two Great Peoples Separated by a Common Language” moment of the week:

Your “Main Monkey Business” moment of the week:

Your “EVERYTHING IS RACIST!!!” moment of the week:

Your “Readin’, Ritin’, Rithmetic” moment of the week:

Just you watch – bridges in Oregon are going to start collapsing roughly 20 years from now, if not a damn sight sooner.

Your “Just HOW Do You f**k This Up?!?!?” moment of the week:

Your “Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into the Water” moment of the week

Your “Matches Murder Trees!” moment of the week:

Your “Climactic Catastrophe” moment of the week:

I’m not even gonna try to craption this next one:

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Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

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And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

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Gym beast props this week go to Ashton Rouska:

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Wise Uncle Chael the American Gangster offers up some very interesting thoughts on UFC 269, which saw Charlie Olives dominate and submit Dustin “Diamond” Poirier, and Julianna “Rocky” Pena beat the shit out of Amanda “The Lionness” Nunes:

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Jesus loves knockouts:

The flying knee that pushed the fighter out of the cage was INSANE.

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#IronThrone

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OK, gents, here’s the last chaser of the day – your Instathot to get the week off to a reasonably bearable start. Her name is Daria Shy, but that’s an obvious “stage name”. Her actual name is Darya Kuvarzina (Дарья Куварзина), age 32 from Saint Petersburg, Russia. She is apparently a model of some renown in SPb, having appeared as a Playboy Russia girl, taking part in the Miss MAXIM competition in 2016, and became the face of the Miss Moscow project (whatever that is).

That’s it, boys, fun’s over, get your butts back into your seats and get to work. Thousands of “diverse” criminals depend on YOU to fund their 100%-off discounts at luxury retailers, after all, so hop to it.

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