Normally, it’s difficult for me to put the material together for the headlining section of the Great Mondaydact Browser Buster. Mondays are challenging enough to begin with, but when you add the need to think through such things on top of that, they become downright UNBEARABLE.
It’s even worse given that last night, parts of the Western world went off Daylight Savings Time – an abomination of an idea straight from Satan’s Butthole if there ever was one – and are now thoroughly confused as to what time it is. Fortunately, I live in a part of the world (right now anyway) where, as dumb as the timezone setup is, at least we don’t have to worry about this setting-the-clocks-back-and-forth malarkey.
As you can see, picking out what to write about for the Great Mondaydact Browser Buster can often be a challenge. This week, however, was really easy. The news (((media))) gave us such a spectacular own-goal that the choice of who and what to feature on the masthead here was trivial.
So we start this week with the story that keeps on giving – the Tale of the Tape Tugger Toobin. This had us laughing so hard that some were in danger of doing ourselves an injury, and with good reason. The more you read into things, the funnier it gets:
Good grief… How much money would you pay NOT to have the words “Zoom” and “Dick” appearing in a headline next to your name?
But wait, it gets better:
Look, I don’t know why people keep struggling with this whole “TURN THE F***ING CAMERA OFF!” thing when you’re about to do something questionable during a wide-ranging video call with a LOT of people on the line – some or all of whom are your colleagues and peers. It’s not even that difficult to figure out. Every laptop that I’ve ever had with a webcam has a little light next to it telling you when the thing is switched on. Surely any idiot with half a working brain should be able to figure this out.
Unfortunately, men don’t tend to think very well when splitting blood-flow between their big and little heads. Such thoughts tend to lead to a notable drop-off in rational judgement. And the last 8 months of this remote-working madness has really shown the extent of the problem.
There’s the case of that Argentinian MP who sucked on a woman’s breast during a live session of Parliament. Then there’s that Philippines government chappie who decided that an online conference call would be the perfect opportunity to bone his secretary over a desk.
And now we have Tugger Toobin, who apparently lacked self-control to the point where he thought that pulling down his pants and… uh… how shall we put this delicately… taking a stroke, as it were, was appropriate during a live conference call with VIDEO.
Unless it was Erin Burnett on the other end of that call, looking like this:
… then I cannot imagine what Mr. Toobin was looking at that would make it necessary for him to, er, indulge in such things.
(That picture of the uber-liberal, extremely sanctimonious Ms Burnett has to be one of the most unintentionally funny serious pictures ever taken.)
This isn’t the first time that Jeffrey Toobin has landed himself in soup for his proclivities, as it happens. The New York Post (natch) ran a story about his past exploits. They don’t make for edifying reading:
Toobin, a 60-year-old longtime married dad with two adult kids by his wife, had a baby with Casey Greenfield, the daughter of one of Toobin’s then-CNN colleagues, Jeff Greenfield, in 2009, the New York Times reported.
Casey, who is 14 years younger than Toobin, met the Harvard Law School grad in the Conde Nast cafeteria while she was working as a fact-checker for Glamour magazine, the outlet said.
Toobin, who has been married to law-school sweetheart Amy McIntosh since 1986, at first denied paternity of the baby, then tests showed he was the dad, the Times said.
Casey ended up taking Toobin to court in Manhattan over custody and financial-support issues.
When news of the pair’s affair made headlines around 2010, the now-defunct Web site Gawker published an item about Toobin’s alleged sexual habits titled, “Too Hot For Print: CNN Anchor Jeffrey Toobin’s Rumored XXX Sex Fetish.’’
The site claimed to have a source who said Toobin had an “anal fixation’’ that included enjoying anal sex and “fisting.’’
Well… damn, dude.
The lesson here is the same as it ever was. The people who finger-wag the most sanctimoniously at the rest of us, are usually the biggest deviants of all, the least moral, the most corrupted, the most in need of a strong dose of holy water laced with Lysol.
If you’re using Zoom, do the sensible thing and TURN THE FREAKIN’ CAMERA OFF when you join a call, unless you’re actually required to speak and present something. Keep yourself on mute at all times, unless required to speak. Double-check what you are sending, to whom, every time before you hit “Send” in the chat box.
Oh, and if you feel certain… urges, then either keep it in your pants until you have a few moments between calls to, um, relieve yourself, OR just turn off the camera and the microphone, leave the room, go to the toilet, and do… whatever. Just please, please wash your hands afterward.
Observe these basics of conference call etiquette, and you will probably be able to avoid having you and your todger appearing as an object of ridicule for the entire world to mock.
His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, put on an excellent performance in the third debate with Sleepy Creepy Corrupt Slow Joe:
#BasedTucker is based:
Mark Dice very much enjoyed the God-Emperor’s epic, and excellent, performance at the final Presidential debate last week:
Dave from Blue Collar Logic gives his thoughts on the debate as well:
And Jason points out that the Bidens CANNOT cover up the stench of corruption surrounding them now:
It’s interesting how both the Clintons and the Bidens both suffered catastrophic blows to their reputations right before the elections – yet their corruptions were open secrets within the halls of power and elsewhere for DECADES. It’s just that nobody bothered to report on it or look into the issue until some emails were “conveniently” found or released.
I’m not saying this is a bad thing, because it’s not. I’m just saying that there might be some… intervention going on here, of a distinctly non-human kind. Talk among yourselves about that if you wish.
DWood the Dizzle (Lord, I HATE rap music) has incurred the wrath of YouTube’s Orwellian Trust & Safety Council:
Dr. David Wood is definitely one of the heaviest hitters on the platform in the realm of Christian apologetics and polemics. The reason why is because he has GIANT BRASS BALLS the size of freakin’ church bells.
Don’t believe me? Watch this:
Furthermore, Dr. David Wood is also an actual, diagnosed, really-for-real psychopath. Messing with cold-blooded psychopath, who has absolutely no problem with targeting and destroying people’s emotional weak points for his own purposes, is a very, very stupid thing to do.
Then again, nobody with any serious knowledge can claim with a straight face that Islam is a particularly intelligent ideology.
Bill Whittle and his friends are, justly, quite worried about the fact that Big Tech is actively scrubbing and censoring news about the contents of the now-infamous “Biden MacBook”:
The Male Brain has really outdone himself this week with a truly epic collection of stuff – the videos here are just the beginning. We start with a few comedy videos from JP Sears mocking modrenity:
A few videos from Larry Elder about the way that the Left operates:
Felix Rex BPS explains why the #DEBUNKED meme is so important:
Apparently Dawn Pine feels the same way about BACON that the rest of us do, because this, right here, is proof that God exists, and that He loves us very much:
OK, fine, it’s a prosciutto lance, not a bacon lance, but GOTT VERDAMMT, “bacon lance” just sounds way cooler, and I’m sticking with that!
Speaking of weird science – Dawn sent this one over a while back, I forgot to include it in last week’s Browser Killer. It concerns a 12-year-old kid who deciphered nuclear fusion:
Damn. Geniuses are getting younger every year. And unlike Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, I don’t think he’s going to turn out to be a complete anal nutbag and socially maladroit lunatic. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up with a supermodel for a trophy wife when he grows up. That will be an arrangement that suits them both.
Problem is, he’s clearly brainwashed into the Climate Change Cargo Cult. That’s going to be a big issue for him later on.
Also from Dawn Pine – if you’ve ever wanted to understand corporate-speak, here is a handy Corporatese-to-English guide for common job descriptors:
- Apply In Person = If you’re old, overweight, or unattractive, you might be told the position has been filled
- Casual Work Environment = We don’t pay enough to expect you to dress well
- Competitive Salary = We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors
- Duties Will Vary = Anyone can boss you around
- Excellent Communication Skills = Management communicates, you listen, and then figure out what they want you to do
- Join Our Fast-Paced Team = We have no time to train you
- Must Be Deadline Focused = You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day
- Please, No Telephone Calls = We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality
- Problem Solving Skills Mandatory = You’re walking into a company in absolute chaos
- Requires Leadership Skills = You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect
- Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety Of Experience = You’ll need it to replace the four people who just left
- Some Overtime Required = Some time each night and some time each weekend
I can’t tell you how many of these I’ve encountered over the course of my (now non-existent) career – nor how many of them are absolutely 100% accurate translations.
Paul Ramsey unpacks the whole kerfuffle over the God-Emperor calling Dr. Doom – a.k.a. Anthony Fauci – a “disaster” on a conference call:
For the record, Donaldus Magnus is absolutely right. These little dictators with MDs before their names ARE disasters. They simply do not consider the costs of their proposals, because that isn’t part of their training. They are not being held responsible for the costs of their ideas. Yet they are being
Lord Razor of the Fist Clan is not amused by Sony’s latest antics with their voice-recording software:
Well now. Not that I’m a big fan of Microsoft – obviously – but that’s yet another reason to buy an Xbox Series X instead of a PS5.
Of course, given my extreme bias toward HALO, I was never going to buy one anyway, so I’m not part of SOYny’s target market. But you might be.
Don’t buy their shit. The end.
China Uncensored has a bunch of news stories about the Middle Kingdom that are by turns amusing and scary, starting with the fact that a ChiCom soldier got lost, was captured by the Indians, and… they fed him, clothed him, and let him go:
Those dastardly Indians! They’re winning the actual propaganda war handily!
Speaking of China – our man Winston from serpentza explains exactly how Huawei actually got its incredibly dominant position in the Chinese electronics market (hint: they didn’t innovate their way into that position):
The top comment on that video points out that “CCP stands for ‘Cut, Copy, Paste'”, and from what I’ve seen of the ChiComs, that is ABSOLUTELY 100% TRUE.
China is a great country and the Chinese are, in their own way, great people – provided they are IN CHINA. The moment you start bringing them over en masse to other countries, they act like the typical high-performance/low-trust culture. In other words, they work hard for their own communities while making a damned nuisance of themselves for everyone else.
It’s the same old story everywhere that they have gone. Don’t let the multiculti propaganda fool you – that’s the simple, painful, actual truth. If you think I’m being harsh, you should listen to Russians of my acquaintance talking about the Chinese – they really don’t like them over in Commieland.
That being said – I will readily admit and concede that two Chinese-owned brands, Lenovo and OnePlus, genuinely do make great products. There are only two types of laptop that I will ever buy – ThinkPad and ASUS ROG TUF Gaming 14″ laptops. And I cannot bloody STAND the amount of junk that Samsung loads up on its smartphones, so I will probably buy my next smartphone from OnePlus because of their excellent designs and operating systems.
In the case of the ThinkPad designs, though, it must not be forgotten that the original laptops were designed by a Japanese man named Arimasa Naito, and IBM – an American company – marketed them. The Chinese took great existing technology and a tremendous amount of Japanese knowledge and design quality, and were sensible enough not to mess with it.
And OnePlus is basically a wholly-owned subsidiary of Oppo, which is definitely linked to the CCP – as all big Chinese tech companies are. If you buy a Chinese-made smartphone – and 90% or thereabouts of the entire world’s smartphones are made in China – they have likely installed some kind of backdoor in the software to spy on you.
So, y’know, buyer beware.
America Uncovered compares the God-Emperor’s positions on dealing with China – or, more precisely, with the Chinese Communist Party – with Sleepy Creepy Corrupt Uncle Joe’s:
Jared Taylor from American Renaissance explains a basic, obvious, yet nonetheless absolute truth – the reelection of the God-Emperor will only be a reprieve, a stay of execution for America, and nothing more:
Anyone who thinks that the God-Emperor is all hat and no cattle, to use a Texan metaphor, really is talking out of his ass. Trump has been UNBELIEVABLY effective – quite literally. No one who saw him campaign back in 2016 thought that he would accomplish even HALF of what he actually has. And he’s barely gotten started.
Terrence Popp very nearly drank himself into a coma dealing with this particular round of feminist bullshit:
Midnight’s Edge looks at the reaction to the upcoming Hulu “adult comedy” show M.O.D.O.K., and apparently the initial impressions were NOT good:
Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock has bad news from within Lucasfilm – apparently the Evil Queen Kathleen Kennedy is up to her usual woke tricks:
Gary from Nerdrotic is DONE with Commiepornia, and is not shy about letting Gov. Gavin Newsom know it:
The Drinker really, really, really, REALLY hated Independence Day: Resurgence. Having watched the movie myself on a flight – hey, it wasn’t like there was anything else to do! – I can understand why:
Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week is from Dawn Pine, and concerns how cabbage plants defend themselves from the attacks of fungi that munch on them by deploying – and I’m not making this up – “mustard oil bombs”, and how those same fungi get around those defenses:
Cabbage plants defend themselves against herbivores and pathogens by deploying a defensive mechanism called the mustard oil bomb: when the plant tissue is damaged, toxic isothiocyanates are formed and can effectively fend off attackers. Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Chemical Ecology and the University of Pretoria have now been able to show in a new study that this defense is also effective to some extent against the widespread and detrimental fungus Sclerotinia sclerotiorum. However, the pathogen uses at least two different detoxification mechanisms that enable the fungus to successfully spread on plants defended in this way. The metabolic products thus formed are non-toxic to the fungus, allowing it to grow on these plants.
Sclerotinia sclerotiorum is a devastating fungal pathogen that can infect more than 400 different plant species. The main symptom of the disease called Sclerotinia wilt or white mold is wilting. Visible are also the white, cotton-like fungal spores that overgrow plant leaves and stalks. In agriculture, rapeseed cultivation is particularly at risk. The plant disease can affect other members of the cabbage family, and also potatoes, legumes and strawberries.
Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Chemical Ecology in Jena have long been studying the glucosinolates and isothiocyanates that constitute the special defense mechanism of cabbage family plants, which include rapeseed, radishes and mustard. “We wanted to find out how successful plant pathogens overcome the plant defense and colonize these plants. We therefore asked ourselves whether widespread fungal pathogens have strategies to adapt to the chemical defenses of plants of the cabbage family,” Jingyuan Chen, the first author of the study, explains.
Turns out that chemical warfare is in fact extremely common in the natural world – we humans are far from the first to use it, and we’re not actually very good at it either.
Your long read of the week is also from The Male Brain, and looks at the six-way tussle currently causing huge headaches for everyone over in the contested Nagorno-Kabarakh region of Azerbaijan:
High Qarabagh, Nagorno Karabakh in Russian, Artsakh in Armenian, Qarabagh Olya in Persian and Azeri covers an area of 4,400 square kilometres, less than half of Lebanon, with a population of 150,000 — more than 90 percent of them ethnic Armenians. And, yet, in 1924 when Josef Stalin, then in charge of nationalities in the newly created Soviet Union, was carving the extinct tsarist empire into republics, High Qarabagh was attached to the autonomous republic of Azerbaijan, itself invented by Bolshevik chief out of territories known as Aran Shirvan and Nakhichevan.
If Stalin had gone by population, the enclave should have been attached to Armenia, another republic that he put on the map. However, Stalin’s gerrymandering game didn’t stop there. He put a chunk of his new Azerbaijan, known as Nakhichevan, at some distance from the rest of the republic with Armenia sandwiched in between. He went even further by dividing the Kurdish majority enclave of Lachin between Armenia and Azerbaijan while attaching Talesh, a non-Azeri coastal land to Azerbaijan. Stalin’s divide-and-rule strategy, aimed at making the “captive nations” of the Bolshevik Empire dependent on Mother Russia for peace and security. He imposed a similar scheme in Central Asia by turning Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan into patchworks of ethnicities.
When the Soviet Empire collapsed in 1991 it was inevitable that Stalin’s geographical doodling would face questions. Seizing the opportunity, the Armenian population of High Qarabagh expelled the Azeri minority in what was to become a model for ethnic cleansing in other places, notably the Balkans. Backed by Armenia, the enclave’s ethnic Armenians won a series of military victories and managed to set up their own autonomous republic. At the time, it was evident that the Artsakh rebels had received substantial aid from post-Soviet Russia. This was partly due to the fact that throughout Soviet history, ethnic Armenians, though fewer in number, played a much greater role than the Azeris.
The Soviet central leadership always included an Armenian at political and military levels; and some like Anastas Mikoyan reached the very top of the greasy pole. Even now, ethnic Armenians who decided to say in Russia proper have a high profile presence in the Moscow leadership, among them Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, whose real Armenian name is Serge Kalantarian.
In contrast, the ethnic Azeris who lived in Russia proper decided to return to their land en masse and were soon rewarded with new wealth generated by two decades of an oil boom. Throughout much of history, Armenians had regarded Russia, a fellow Christian nation, as their protector against Muslim neighbors, especially the Ottoman Empire. This was one reason why newly independent Armenia agreed to host a major Russian military base, which at its peak contained 20,000 Russian troops. In contrast, several Azeri leaders played the anti-Russian card by airing historical grievances against “the occupiers”. The firebrand leader, Abulfazil Ilchibey, went even further by promoting a mass de-russification that included a change of alphabet and Russian-style family names. Independent Azerbaijan wanted to join the “Western World”, casting itself as the United States’ most reliable ally in the region. To emphasise that point, new Azerbaijan forged close relations with Israel to the point of promoting tight military cooperation, and talking of a Baku-Tel Aviv axis.
Once again, the ghost of that mass-murdering psychopathic bastard Stalin continues to cause problems from beyond the grave.
See, THIS, right here, is why i keep saying that shooting declared Communists on sight is a perfectly acceptable form of self-defence.
Linkage is good for you:
- Can you believe that THE FRENCH, of all people, have finally grown enough of a spine to stand up to the RIFs among them? I sure as shit can’t, and Delingpole can’t quite believe it either;
- Princess Diana was a disaster for the Royal Family at every level, and given the template that she provided, it’s probably not surprising that the Half-Blood Princess has gone about things the way that she has;
- Ilana Mercer has some very harsh, but true, things to say about Chinese culinary culture and hygiene that bear reading and repeating;
- Kevin MacDonald explains why it is critically important for the God-Emperor to win in 8 days – which I believe he will;
- This news item is similar to a headline provided by Dawn Pine below – it concerns a Google employee admitting that Goolag thinks of Trumpers as evil people (have you noticed how so many Googlers are Indians? Non-zero correlation there);
- My friend and fellow shitlord Last Redoubt has some excellent thoughts to add about the God-Emperor kicking the Kung Flu’s ass and how he provides a masculine template of behaviour for the rest of us;
- Linh Dinh takes time out from visiting dive bars around the USA to demonstrate how America really was and is the last best hope that we have for the West, even during the Depression – and if we lose America, we lose everything;
- The controversial speed record set by a specially souped-up model of the Bugatti Chiron has now been usurped and replaced by a staggering 316.11mph bidirectional speed run from the incredible SSC Tuatara hypercar;
- You and I make fun of trophy wives all the time, but it turns out that being arm candy for a rich and powerful man is actually a full-time job;
- It’s nice to see a woman suffer the consequences of her stupidity once in a while – if only it happened more often;
- If ever there was a great story about how the sins of the father do not and cannot define the son, this story of how the son of a German SS officer became a devout Jew and friend of Israel surely is it;
- Unfortunately not all sons turn out better than their fathers – the playboy king of Thailand is doing a very good job of throwing shit on the institution that his late father did so much to elevate and protect;
- The perils of spending time and money on e-thots are laid bare in a by-turns amusing and sad letter to everyone’s favourite agony aunt;
- Also, if you’ve slept with a dozen women and your girlfriend has slept with OVER 100, neither of you are going to come out looking good – but you damned well better dump her ass and the DNA soup that she’s carrying around inside her with it;
And some more from Dawn Pine:
- The Crazy Christ is back after a long round-the-world trip to deal with a DEFINITELY NOT METH addiction, and he’s letting everyone know about it;
- Both Dawn and I are deeply sceptical about having female judges on the Supreme Court, but the Notorious ACB looks like she will do a great job – or at least be someone to look up to;
- You know how guys like us call CNN a bunch of tossers? Well, the Toobin situation shows that we are 100% right;
- Another long read for you about how the EU’s funding to various NGOs actually makes the Euzis complicit in spreading global Islamist terrorism and attempting to destabilise actual allied governments, like Israel’s, through rigged elections;
- The God-Emperor needs to win on Nov 3, because if he doesn’t, he will face an unending barrage of legal challenges and lawsuits that will destroy him – simply because he dared to stand up against the globalist elites;
- Ever wanted to know what the Temple of Luxor, the Parthenon, or five other amazing historical sites would actually have looked like? Well, wonder no longer – see the reconstructions done before your eyes (but turn off your ad-blocker);
Dawn also sent over an excellent blog post that explains the true nature and character of The Neo-Tsar very well indeed:
Vladimir Putin is Russia’s strong father figure.
And when you view it in that light, you start to see that many of Vladimir Putin’s displays aren’t about masculinity unleashed — which is how most Westerners view them — but about disciplined masculinity, about testosterone well-channeled toward productive ends.
Don’t forget this important, but often-overlooked fact: Vladimir Putin is sober. He doesn’t drink alcohol. The leader of Russia, one of the heaviest drinking countries on earth, is a teetotaler. Now isn’t that a quaint, moralistic notion. And Putin’s sobriety stands in stark contrast to the public drunkenness of his predecessor, Boris Yeltsin.
Furthermore, in the midst of Putin’s hyper-masculine photography, we somehow miss the fact that he nurtures wild animals (#25), protects national treasures (#7), and plays the piano (#23). He wraps these activities in masculinity, which we associate with silly recklessness, but the activities themselves are about nurturing, civilized behavior. (Even if he’s a thug behind the scenes to maintain a semblance of order.)
There are two ways to harness the powerful force that is testosterone: external control (the rule of law, culture, access to sex) or individual control (self-discipline, personal values). Russia has no external controls on behavior: the rule of law hardly exists, and culture and religion were destroyed by communism. And sex, like in the United States, is probably pretty easy to get. That leaves self-discipline. And what does alcohol do? That’s right, alcohol loosens inhibitions. Alcohol destroys self-discipline.
I think that’s pretty accurate. Russians have much higher standards of masculinity than most Western nations do. If you aren’t handy with tools, and you don’t know how to perform basic repairs around the house, and you aren’t disciplined to a reasonable level, you will not get respect from the most beautiful Russian women. It’s really just that simple.
That is not to say that undisciplined alcoholic slobs don’t get women in Russia. They do. Russia still has a surplus of women relative to men. And life in Russia is hard no matter where you live – it’s a country that ages you fast. I’ve seen it firsthand. It’s just that the types of women that those low-quality men acquire, also tend to be low-quality themselves.
The highest quality women demand high quality men. And in this regard, Vladimir Putin provides a strong template.
He is no longer universally beloved by the Russian people. The harsh times that have befallen the country since 2014, combined with Russia’s continued dependence on oil and gas wealth, have eroded some of his popularity. I personally know Russians who absolutely hate the man, though they are in a distinct minority – they consider him a thief who pillaged their country. This is ironic, to say the least, given that it was Putin who stood up to the predominantly Jewish criminal cabal that did most of the plundering after the USSR collapsed and privatisation began in earnest in the mid-1990s.
There is no doubting the fact that Putin is INSANELY wealthy. He may well be twice as rich as Jeff Bezos, judging by some of the rumours that I have heard. And that galls a lot of ordinary Russians who struggle to put decent food on their tables every single day – they would much rather he divest that wealth and give it back to his people.
I don’t think he’s going to do that, at all. Wealth and power go hand-in-hand, and Imperial Russian Tsars were not known for their generosity or care for their own people. Putin is no exception.
But, when it comes to being a disciplined leader of a great nation – and, make no mistake, Russia IS a great country, freer in some ways than the USA is today – there are very few men who can match Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.
And speaking of Russians and great men – your Great Man of the Week is the four-time Hero of the Soviet Union, conqueror of Eastern Europe, and destroyer of Nazi Germany, Field Marshall Georgy Zhukov:
If you haven’t watched The Death of Stalin, it’s available on Netherflix in the USA and is absolutely worth watching. It’s HILARIOUS – one of the blackest comedies I’ve ever seen. Jason isaacs does a terrific job of playing Field Marshal Zhukov, who was known for his extreme bluntness and coarse tongue as well as his loyalty to his country and people.
History lessons of the week:
Let’s remind ourselves why HALO 3 ODST was so AMAZEBALLS:
What kind of scruffy blaster-brained nerf-herder thought that this was a good way to end STAR WARS Jedi: Fallen Order?:
Wazzocks gonna wazzock:
Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:
Pics, guns, girls, starting with a hilarious and unusual dose of truth in advertising from a LinkedIn profile sent over by Dawn Pine:
A bunch more from him here:
I have no clue who this next guy is:
What baptism looks like to a kid:
This happens far too often in corporate life, and it always ends very, very badly:
The way 2020 is going, we’re going to see these things washing up on shore by the end of November.
This next one nearly made me crap my pants:
Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle. She looks like that vampire chick from Fright Night – the original, i.e. the GOOD one, not the remake.
This next one will BLOW YOUR MIND:
I mean… other than the fact that Donaldus Magnus Triumphus is a fatass, it’s hard to argue with that logic. And, in all honesty, how do we KNOW for sure that the God-Emperor ISN’T wearing a fat-suit of some kind?
This summarises exactly why people who aren’t normally political, support the God-Emperor:
This one is a dose of truth straight between the eyes:
Your headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man is NOT responding to lockdowns and other assorted stupidity particularly well:
Your “Delete All Cookies” moment of the week:
Your “THERE IS A GOD!!!” moment of the week:
Your “Wiener Wheelies” moment of the week:
We’ve got a bunch more sent in by The Male Brain, actually. Check these out.
Your “Revenge of the Kung Flu” moment of the week:
Your “THAT’S What You’re Gonna Run With?!?!” moment of the week:
Your “IT’S ABOUT BLOODY TIME!” moment of the week:
Your “See? Leftists Are NUCKING FUTS!” moment of the week:
Your “The Beginning of the End. Again.” moment of the week:
Your “No Shit, Sherlock!” moment of the week:
Your “Don’t Let the Door Hit Your in the Ass on Your Way Out” moment of the week:
Your “That Percentage is WAY TOO LOW” moment of the week:
Your “This is What Insanity Looks Like” moment of the week:
One for the Apple fanbois:
Hard to argue with this next one:
I have to admit, this next one would keep me awake too:
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY GRANDMA WAS LIKE.
And my mum too, come to think of it.
Though my mum doesn’t understand why I think that bacon and chicken are vegetables.
Not quite – the “yeehaw” and the fake cheese are missing.
Girls with guns time:
Your Dog of the Week is the Beauceron:
Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:
And here’s your animals are DICKS moment of the week too:
Gym beast Taylor Atwood set an incredible new (equipped) PR at 770lbs just 4 days after setting new records for his weight class at a powerlifting meet:
The other huge news from last week – from yesterday, in fact – was all about Khabib “The Eagle of Dagestan” Nurmagomedov and his crushing victory over Justin Gaethje. Khabib showed us all exactly why he is the GOAT in MMA – and then he retired:
That was both wonderful and very difficult to watch. I deeply admire and respect Khabib because of his incredible fighting skills and absolutely relentless style. You can clearly see that his father’s death REALLY hurts and he will probably never quite get over it. Abdulmanap Nurmagomedov was far more than a father to Khabib – he was his trainer, his mentor, his best friend, and his moral centre. He was irreplaceable and it’s really obvious that losing such a pillar in his life, at such a relatively young age, crushed Khabib’s soul.
And yet… when the bell rang and the fight started, Khabib was all business. He was focused, patient, relentless, and lethal. He completely overwhelmed the most dangerous man (other than himself) in his division and destroyed him. His opponent admitted as much in a very classy and graceful way:
Khabib went out on top as an absolutely honourable and respectful champion – and he went out on his terms, keeping his word to his mother and honouring his father.
You just don’t get more classy and decent than that.
And yes I could understand some of the Russian that he spoke at the end. When you hear him talk in Russian about his pain, you can hear just how badly his dad’s death affected him.
Georges “Rush” St-Pierre offered up his thoughts about Khabib as well – and when the GOAT is calling you perhaps the greatest ever, and is totally gushing over your performance, that’s when you KNOW you’re the best:
I’m really going to miss watching Khabib’s MMA performances. That guy wrestles and moves like no one that I have EVER seen. His skills are on a whole different level. He’s beaten the best of the best, the true giants of the sport – and he’s done it with humility, grace, kindness, respect, and decency.
This is what I love about MMA – this is the best kind. MMA is not about trash-talking and brash personalities. MMA is about the highest level of problem solving, performed by absolute killers. If you disrespect them, they WILL end you. And when you see that level of respect between the top-level fighters, that rewards your faith as a fan – that this sport isn’t just about bullshit and hot air, that it’s really about the Warrior’s Code.
Удачи и всего доброго, Хабиб. Где бы он, ты сделал своего отца очень гордым.
Buakaw Beatdown of the Week:
That probably wasn’t quite what you were expecting, eh?
Actually, Saenchai and Buakaw are very good friends in real life, despite their diametrically opposed fighting styles. This video breaks down exactly how different their styles are:
Buakaw is basically a man who turned himself into a killing machine. Saenchai is basically a man who turned himself into a magician. Their approaches could not be more different – yet they are evidently best mates. Beautiful, ain’t it?
Now that we’ve got this lovely feel-good moment out of the way, let’s get to the brutal head-busting stuff:
Jesus loves knockouts:
Synthwave reminds us of how awesome the 80s were:
Before we get to the really heavy stuff – let’s take a moment to appreciate the beauty, charm, talent, and incredible skill that Hillary Klug brings to an old classic with her lovely singing voice:
It’s hard enough to fiddle, sing, OR buck-dance like she does, individually. Imagine doing ALL of that at the same time, time after time after time for endless takes, with no mistakes. That’s a whole new level of amazeballs right there.
That, gentlemen, is potential wife material.
I do believe that was ORDEN OGAN’s attempt to pay homage to fellow German metal monsters RUNNING WILD. As tributes go, it’s not a bad one. But I really prefer the originals:
Finally, here’s your Instathot to get the week off to a good start. Her name is Ekaterina Kotaro (Екатерина “Катя” Котаро), age 27 – which is hard to believe if you look at her, until you see her photos without all the warpaint – from a town of under 80,000 people called Shadrinsk in Kurgan Region (она из Шадринска, в Курганской Области).
If you’re thinking, “that sounds like it’s right in the middle of F**K ALL”, you’d be right. It’s a town 2,000Km east of Moscow and about 250Km southeast of Yekaterinburg. That’s in Siberia, around the Urals, and yes, that IS the middle of F***K ALL.
The young woman in question has an interesting biography. She was raised by her grandparents and apparently had a tough life in school. She studied to be a lawyer and didn’t even consider modelling until she was about 20. Since then she was voted Miss Maxim Russia 2017, and was a semi-finalist for Playboy Russia Girl of the Year in 2019. She now lives in Yekaterinburg with her boyfriend. (ALL of that information is publicly available in this interview.)
Now, I seriously debated reserving this one for a Friday post. But there are four VERY good reasons not to. The first three have to do with her “body-art” (read: uglification through tattoos) – one big one on her right thigh and one on each of her wrists. The fourth has to do with certain… “extracurricular activities” that she may or may not get up to. (Run that last link through Google Translate and you’ll see what I mean.) I make no representations whatsoever as to the veracity, or lack thereof, of such claims – draw your own conclusions.
Anyway, enough guff, here’s your Monday Instathot. You’re welcome. Now up and at ’em – unemployed Pantifags everywhere are depending on YOU to supply their welfare cheques!