Monday. UGH.
The only thing worse than Monday morning in the office, is Monday morning in the office with decaffeinated coffee.
Honestly, when the world does what is Right and Just and finally sees the wisdom of making me Supreme Dictator and Awesome Evil Overlord of Mankind, one of my very first acts of office will be to make the manufacture and selling of decaffeinated coffee punishable by flogging.
I am well aware that there are people who do not process caffeine well. To them, I say: go drink tea, water, or horse-piss. Just kindly leave the rest of us in peace to drink real coffee.
Anyway – to help you deal with the horrors of this dreaded day, I have prepared for you a selection of amusing vignettes that should ease some of the misery.
We start with some wit and wisdom from the charming, charismatic, and ruthlessly efficient “El Guapo”, Bas Rutten:
Related – Bas Rutten doing what he does best:
Related – Yet more great wisdom from one of the greatest ever:
Related – Highlights from Bas Rutten’s “bar fighting defence” DVD, which is hilarious:
Do NOT f*** with Bas Rutten, my friends.
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While we are on the subject of mixed martial arts – here are some great examples of how not to conduct yourself after you win a fight:
Related – Dominick “The Dominator” Cruz doing what he does best – dominating:
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Some excellent wisdom for married Christian couples:
Normally my interest is completely tied to what’s going on with me physically, but thanks to your book, I’ve realized how that’s not being very loving–it lowers sex into something that is just about scratching an itch. If it’s really about love, it is worth making the effort to be together throughout whatever parts of the month are open to the couple…
I feel like reading Popcak’s “Holy Sex” helped me start shedding some of the prudery I had about sex being a little bit frivolous/selfish and your book helped me shed the rest of it + the poisoning lies the culture teaches about sex. (Men are animals, women are the gatekeepers, sex is mostly about getting pleasure, God sorta hates women for setting them up for either 20 pregnancies or no sex when their hormones are cooperating, etc.) At some point I thought, “Life is too short for bad sex with a good husband. I am going to get to middle and old age and really regret spending the healthiest years of my life this way, just like I already regret spending my teens and twenties dressing like a frump.”
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Can you seriously believe that a bunch of insanely stupid evil Leftists – Lord, forgive me my redundancies – actually went and BANNED PLASTIC STRAWS?!?
I know I say this in pretty much every other post these days, but… seriously, what is wrong with these people???
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Watching Nigel Farage bitch-slapping a few pompous European assholes in Belgium, about Belgium, is always good fun – unless you’re Belgian, but almost no actual Belgian ever wants to admit that:
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Following on from a couple of Mondays ago, when I sharpened my claws on the media – it appears that whiny little punk Jim Acosta still does not Get It:
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Some more great pics from Power Line:
I showed this next picture to a cute Russian girl, and we agreed that it was definitely a man in drag:
This one says it all, really:
Star Trek explains the terrible pathogen-induced mental disease known as Liberaltardis jackassophus:
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In case you’re a lazy bastard who doesn’t like to make much effort in life – i.e. a liberal – don’t worry, you are in good company:
Homo erectus may have gone extinct because they were lazy, new research claims.
Scientists believe the ‘least-effort strategies’ employed to build tools and collect resources may have contributed to the downfall of the primitive human species.
Unlike other hominids, the tools created by Homo erectus were comparatively low quality and were built using low-quality materials found nearby, experts say.
This is in sharp contrast to stone tools made by other hominid species, including early Homo sapiens and Neanderthals, who climbed mountains to find good quality stone and transported it over huge distances.
This laziness paired with an inability to adapt to a changing climate likely resulted in the species going extinct, scientists say.
So, if I were to do my best Cathy Newman impression…
What you’re saying, then, is that if we just leave liberals alone and stop supporting them and stop being nice to them, they’ll die out all by themselves?
Hey, that actually strikes me as a pretty damned good idea.
Y’know, now that the beardies and boffins mention it, I do believe that might be a Homo erectus skeleton up there with its head up its… keister. Just sayin’…
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Remember, kiddies: every time you act like a gym idiot, a baby seal somewhere dies of cancer thanks to you.
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What happens when th GOAT goes into God-mode:
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Some heavy metal hamsters for you:
Related:
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All right, fine, here is some actual good heavy metal:
And, of course, the Holiest of the Holies, IRON MAIDEN:
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Hot babe time:
2 Comments
Don't be too hasty on the decaf; it can temporarily grow a woman's boobs a full cup size. Yes, I am serious.
What I hate most about liberal soyboys?
They singlehandedly RUINED men's beards.