The trailer for the very, very, VERY long-awaited sequel to Top Gun has finally been released, and actually, it looks awesome:

That, my friends, is how you make a real trailer for a real sequel to… well, admittedly the gayest non-gay 80s movie ever made.

I could break it down and analyse it thoroughly, but here is a much better summary than anything I could provide, mostly because the guy who put it together was thoroughly drunk (or so he claims) when he did it:

I really like the cut of this trailer’s jib. This is not an advertisement for a new “woke” version of Top Gun. This is a loving tribute to the original that breaks new ground, introduces new faces, and hopefully will not be anywhere near as gay as the first film was.

It’s all there – the aging warhorse combat pilot who only knows how to fly, while all of his contemporaries and peers only know how to get promoted; the military command brass who want him out, retired, or dead; the technological changes that threaten to destroy the very concept of air combat aces; the Young Turks who make the old man look and feel truly ancient; and the beautiful love interest who makes the old man feel young and spry again.

And the trailer is paced perfectly too. The throwbacks to everything that made the original such a great guilty pleasure – fighter jets screaming across the sky, motorbikes charging across the tarmac into the sunset next to a jet taking off, aviators, the epic retro 80s leather jacket, aircraft carriers, and that “cobra manoeuvre” that Maverick used to such great effect in the original film – are all present and accounted for.

It is only after the fanservice is done that the real plot of the movie is slowly revealed. And still we get to see some beautiful nostalgic moments – such as the moment when Goose’s son is revealed to look like a dead ringer for his old man, doing exactly the same thing that Goose himself did in life at the keys of a piano in a bar.

Now, I could be totally wrong. This movie could be terrible. But I remember back when Top Gun 2 was going to be filmed as a gender-swapped sequel, in which Pete “Maverick” Mitchell would be an aging instructor trying to teach a cocky young female pilot the ropes, who would eventually become his love interest. This was years ago, but it appears that this is not the plot for the sequel.

That is very much to the good, especially given the extremely depressing news that we have heard recently wherein the next Thor movie will star Natalie Portman as the Goddess of Thunder, and the next 007 is going to be a black Jane Bond.

All of our heroes that we looked up to as children are being killed off and replaced by shittier, stupider, more “diverse” (read: diworse) versions that have all of the charisma and charm of a plank of wood – being smashed into your face. And we are expected to simply sit there, take the beating, and enjoy it – and then pay for the privilege of getting our brains smashed out through our ears and eyes by child-molesters and faggots who run Hollyweird.

That is why, despite the gigantic box office success of Avengers: Endgame, which is now officially the highest-grossing movie of all time, Hollywood is in serious trouble right now.

People are absolutely sick and tired of being lectured about the need for “diversity” and “tolerance” and seeing their most beloved cultural icons destroyed at the Altar of the Woke Goddess – or whatever gender-neutral pronoun zhe is supposed to be referred to these days. And this is showing, very clearly, in the results at the box office. That is why the slogan, “Get Woke, Go Broke”, is so effective – because it is the literal truth.

This new Top Gun film appears – I emphasise that word simply because we have only a very limited idea about what the actual movie’s plot is right now – to reject the notion of getting woke. And that is very much to the good.

Oh, and let’s not forget – the legendary (and, actually, objectively rather overrated) F-14 Tomcat makes a roaring comeback somewhere in this film, which is ridiculous in the real world given that there aren’t any more Tomcats in service and almost all of those that were purchased, were scrapped. But facts do not really matter that much in movies, and if we can see Maverick back in the cockpit of a Tomcat – preferably with Goose’s son as his RIO – then I will happily pay to see that movie in theatres.

Multiple times.

Honestly, the only thing that could possibly make this film better is having CHEAP TRICK’s “Mighty Wings” and Kenny Loggins’s “Danger Zone” playing in the soundtrack.

That shit needs to happen.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention this earlier, but… has anyone noticed how much Ed Harris looks like one of the White Walkers from Game of Groans in that trailer?!?! The resemblance is bloody uncanny.