Monday. Just… NO.
Don’t worry, though, it’s not so bad, because Monday morning ALSO means another edition of the Great Mondaydact Browser Buster to brighten up your day with plenty of shitposting, great pics, cool tunes, and a hot chick at the end.
And we start off this Monday with an undeniable, unquestionable, absolute truth:
EVERYTHING is better with lightsabers, except the Devil Mouse Wars sequels.
Which is to say, if you were to add lightsabers to that appallingly stupid Pirates of the Caribbean sequel (yeah, I know – “which one?!?”), you might actually get a great, fun movie in the process:
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His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, has ABSOLUTELY hired the right person to be his Press Secretary:
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#BasedTucker is based:
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Mark Dice surveys the current landscape of corporate America and is thoroughly unimpressed by the constant, ridiculous, stupid, and tedious virtue-signalling:
He ain’t the only one, that’s for damn sure.
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Dave from Blue Collar Logic explains why he is a conservative:
The irony is that Dave argues that he is a conservative because he believes in conserving that which is ancient, time-tested, and valuable – without ever bothering to address the hard reality that conservatives have singularly FAILED to conserve much of anything.
And Jason looks at the RIDICULOUS nature of the “charges” against the liberal, Democrat-voting, BLM-supporting McCloskeys, who are now under threat of prosecution by an out-of-control DA in St. Louis:
The Governor of Missouri has already indicated that he will likely pardon the McCloskeys if things get that far. But that isn’t even the worst of it. Apparently the city prosecutor and the city police tampered with the evidence when they seized the couple’s guns.
The prosecutor in question, a particularly odious specimen by the name of Kim Gardner, who by the way is Black and evidently highly sympathetic to the Black Looming Menace, should be fired and disbarred instantly for her overzealous crusade to jail two people who lawfully defended their property and their lives.
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Bill Whittle comments on a bit of karmic justice, wherein Margaret Sanger, the racial supremacist and eugenicist that pushed for abortion rights specifically because she wanted to erase Blacks as a race in America, has been erased herself from Planned Parenthood’s history:
On the one hand, it’s very nice to see someone as vile and nasty as Margaret Sanger getting the historical treatment that she actually deserved. On the other, Planned Parenthood cannot be left off the hook. They are unquestionably a racist organisation – an actually racist one, that directly enables and supports the ongoing genocide of Blacks.
It’s one thing to argue that Blacks and Whites can and should live in their own separate communities, peaceably and amicably and voluntarily separated. It is quite another to argue that it is right and good for White people to support the ongoing slaughter of unborn Black children.
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Plenty this week from The Male Brain, starting with a breakdown of the very first guy ever to play tag:
As Dawn points out, the current chaos in Minneapolis was predicted by one of Minnesota’s native sons, Aaron Clarey himself, and he left that town for exactly the reasons outlined in this video:
This is what happens when gyms reopen after the Kung Flu:
CAN. CONFIRM.
Historian Douglas Murray explains the current cancel culture:
The Joker, as shown in The Dark Knight – AMAZING film, by the way – was almost surely a billionaire:
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Paul Ramsey explains the fear-driven nature of the drive to make everyone mask up:
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Lord Razor of the Fist Clan points out that the latest round of Leftist “peaceful protesting” has effectively killed the entire idea of gun control deader than the dodo:
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China Uncensored explains in great detail the nature of the CCP’s new Cold War with the USA and the West:
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Related – Winston from serpentza explains why China is nowhere near as safe as the Chinese themselves, or at least the CCP, would like you to believe:
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America Uncovered looks at Portlandistan and the way that it has devolved into a Leftist-occupied war zone:
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Jared Taylor from American Renaissance points out that letting the revolution devour its own is a very Good Thing:
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Terrence Popp explains, with considerable patience (and a LOT of profanity and T&A shots – God bless him!), that modern women didn’t become bitches because of the dating scene, but rather, it’s the other way around:
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Midnight’s Edge reports on the likelihood that the upcoming Patman film will create a rebooted Gotham spin-off series:
With a Black Jim Gordon, no less. As if a Black Sarah Essen in the first TV series weren’t bad enough…
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Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock reports on the tantalising possibility that George Lucas will return to helm LucasFilm again and will oust his onetime “protege”, Kathleen Karen Kennedy, in order to preserve and define his beloved creation:
I’ll give the rumour this much: it is an intriguing possibility.
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Gary from Nerdrotic shows us all that the failure of Doctor Who cannot possibly be blamed on fans, but is in fact entirely the fault of the current star and writer for the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation’s latest foray into woke politics:
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The Drinker patiently (and drunkenly) explains that no, Anakin Skywalker WAS NOT a Mary Sue – or rather, a Gary Stu:
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Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week comes from The Male Brain:
At oceanic depths >200 m, there is little ambient sunlight, but bioluminescent organisms provide another light source that can reveal animals to visual predators and prey. Transparency and mirrored surfaces—common camouflage strategies under the diffuse solar illumination of shallower waters—are conspicuous when illuminated by directed bioluminescent sources due to reflection from the body surface. Pigmentation allows animals to absorb light from bioluminescent sources, rendering them visually undetectable against the dark background of the deep sea. We present evidence suggesting pressure to reduce reflected bioluminescence led to the evolution of ultra-black skin (reflectance < 0.5%) in 16 species of deep-sea fishes across seven distantly related orders. Histological data suggest this low reflectance is mediated by a continuous layer of densely packed melanosomes in the exterior-most layer of the dermis and that this layer lacks the unpigmented gaps between pigment cells found in other darkly colored fishes. Using finite-difference, time-domain modeling and comparisons with melanosomes found in other ectothermic vertebrates, we find the melanosomes making up the layer in these ultra-black species are optimized in size and shape to minimize reflectance. Low reflectance results from melanosomes scattering light within the layer, increasing the optical path length and therefore light absorption by the melanin. By reducing reflectance, ultra-black fish can reduce the sighting distance of visual predators more than 6-fold compared to fish with 2% reflectance. This biological example of efficient light absorption via a simple architecture of strongly absorbing and highly scattering particles may inspire new ultra-black materials.
Translation: there are fish in deep water that have skin so black that they absorb light.
That’s it. Never going back into the ocean again. If you can’t see the fish that want to kill you and eat your soul, then what’s the point?
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Your long read of the week is a heartwarming story about a Russian family with eleven (!!!!!!!!!) children:
Ivan and Maria have been together for 16 years, and they now have 11 children. The oldest is 15 years old, and the youngest was born a little less than a month ago. At the moment when this couple first met, could they have imagined their lives would so intertwine and bring them true family happiness, beating in the warmth of so many children’s hearts?
Maria and Ivan met in church when she was 13 and he was 24 years old. Ivan came from Omsk to the capital to study. For the first two years they just talked, and later the young people began having feelings for one another. They began to spend more time together, and they realized this was the beginning of something bigger. When Mary was 15 years old, Ivan offered her his hand and heart.
At that time, Maria had just finished ninth grade, and when her classmates saw the wedding ring on her finger, they didn’t even believe that the girl had a fiancé. She did not tell anyone about it, and the teachers did not know either. But the parents agreed immediately. Ivan no longer remembers how he proposed.
“Dad doesn’t remember, but Mom remembers,” Maria laughs in reply. “We went for a walk; he gave me a ring and said that I would be his wife. Of course I agreed; there was no doubt.” The couple waited for Maria to finish school and turn 16 years old, and then they got married a week later. So in 2003 their family was born.
A year later, the first daughter Susanna was born, and since then the family has continued adding one child almost every year.
It says a lot about how stupid our modren times are that this is considered weird or strange. It used to be completely normal for people to have big families.
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Linkage is good for you:
- The reports of the God-Emperor’s electoral defeat are premature and highly exaggerated;
- Speaking of the God-Emperor, he shut down China’s consulate in Houston and may shut down more – good for him;
- Madonna lied about Russia fining her for pro-LGBTQWTFISTHISSHIT comments – in other news, her music sucks and she’s about thirty years past her sell-by date;
- Speaking of Russia, if you ever visit it, try to check out some of its fascinating island fortresses;
- Still on Russia, it is becoming fashionable and sensible again to get married young there;
- Taking the Trans-Siberian railroad can be a fascinating experience if you want to meet people from all walks of life;
- Khabib Nurmagomedov is clearly feeling the death of his father – my sincere condolences to him and his family;
- Meghan Markle is certainly one of the most accomplished social climbers in history – which is more than can be said of her talents as an actress;
- The French are discovering, rather too late, that letting African immigrants near their cathedrals is NOT a good idea;
And some more from Dawn Pine:
- Right-wing characters are a lot of fun to watch on sitcoms – in large part because they are actually funny and relatable;
- If you don’t enforce the law, you get lawlessness – whoever would have imagined?!?!?!;
- AT&T may have wonky tech, because they’re going around telling customers that their old 3G phones will stop working on 5G in 2022, even though 5G is backwards-compatible;
- Papua New Guinea’s chief obstetrician appears to be a complete moron, given that he’s telling women in his country not to conceive and give birth for a couple of years;
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The Neo-Tsar is a LOT of fun to watch when he’s putting people in their place – he’s even better at it than the God-Emperor:
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History lessons of the week:
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Let’s look at HALO through the eyes of ex-Bungie and current-343i employees, comparing the outputs of the two teams:
It’s a little difficult to understand the point of that video, but basically the goal is to show that 343i and Microsoft under Bonnie Ross’s leadership have simply thrown much of what made HALO great, straight out the window.
I do agree, pretty strongly, with that assessment. HALO 5: Guardians was NOT HALO as I understand it. HALO 4, on the other hand, was still very clearly a HALO game, and a truly great one to boot.
Here’s hoping that they fix all the shit that they did really badly wrong, with the writing, dialogue, characterisation, and other problems, in HALO Infinite.
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Wazzocks gonna wazzock:
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Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:
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Comedy hour with Bob Hope, all courtesy of Dawn Pine this week. Bob Hope was a living legend in his time. Today would have been his death anniversary – he died back in 2003. I’ll turn the rest of this tribute over the The Male Brain, who has some really good things to say about him:
This guy came to the US and adopted it as his
home. Even though he was not born there, he was a true patriot. So much,
that during the Vietnam war, he suffered due to his support of the
troops.
During WW2, the guy went around the world to provide the troops with entertainment. Some of it was on his own dime.
Apart
from that, we are talking about an alpha male, who bedded numerous
beautiful women. Yes, the guy cheated on his wife, but always returned.
He
also did 70(!) films, 54 of which he starred in. He was the
reincarnation of the Beta male in his movies, showing a new (old)
character – the “forcible” hero/ anti-hero. The character that has
problems dealing with stronger persons – including beautiful females.
Many thanks to Dawn Pine for sending over all of these great videos.
This next one is the kind of commercial that guys like us actually want companies to make:
An American company that actually stands up for American values. Imagine that…
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Pics, guns, girls, starting with a bunch of memes from Dawn Pine and Aaron Clarey:
This next one takes a moment to figure out, but it’s horrifying if you think it through:
And here’s one that sums up our horrible dystopian present:
The next two are just perfect for Monday:
Your headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man is well and truly OVER the Kung Flu at this point:
Your “Space Horse!!!” moment of the week, which reminds us all of that appallingly stupid sequence in The Fall of Skywalker:
Your “Crime and Punishment” moment of the week:
Your “F*** OFF AND DIE, GUBMINT!!!!” moment of the week:
Your “Double Blind” moment of the week:
Ladies, don’t date soyboys who listen to Coldplay. It won’t end well.
I do agree with this next one:
This one practically SCREAMS “Slimer Wuz Hear”:
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Your dog of the week is the Appalachian turkey dog:
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Gym beast props go (once again) to Jeff Cavaliere, who tells (and shows) you how to get jacked, while also proving some of his critics wrong about the whole “fake weights” thing:
My only issue with Jeff’s video there is that he deadlifts with a clearly rounded lower back.
Let me make this really plain to anyone reading:
DO NOT F***ING DEADLIFT WITH A F***ING ROUNDED LOWER F***ING BACK.
You’ll screw yourself up for the rest of your life if you pop a disc in the process. Trust me on this. I know. Every single disc in my lumbar spine is bulging out right now.
And yet, I can still deadlift 425lbs safely (or at least, I could, before the Kung Flu came along and trashed my gains). It’s not actually that hard to do. You just have to keep a neutral spine.
For me, squats are actually the most unpleasant lifts nowadays, and that is because my form has absolutely gone to shit as a result of various injuries and imbalances. I’m working to rectify those, but it’s clear that the injuries to my lower back have taken a significant toll.
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MMA On Point tells some fascinating stories about the weirdest ways in which MMA fighters have simply given up in mid-fight:
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Buakaw Beatdown of the Week:
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – Buakaw Banchamek is what the Bogeyman looks out for under his bed at night before he sleeps.
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Synthwave to keep things chill:
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#FireBloodAndSteel
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And finally here’s your Instathot to get the week started. Her name is Shayna Holt, and she’s got a serious case of Resting Bitch Face. She’s about 21 and hails from somewhere in the Rockies (which is delightfully vague, I know) and is currently based in LA.
If you look at her eyes and face, you can see that there is something really not quite right about this girl, possibly caused by the disconnect between her preachy inspirational woke captions and the daily reality of her life, which essentially amounts to selling her body for money. It’s a tough life, being a thot – you get lots of fancy pants and lollipops but you sell your soul in the process, and you can’t get that back.
Happy Monday, boys – an oxymoron if there ever was one. Get out there and get started with the CRUSHING!!! already.
7 Comments
I'm kind of bummed that all anyone's talking about with Halo Infinite is how "bad" the 4K60FPS graphics look. Granted, Mr. Softy brought this on himself by never passing up a chance to brag about the XBOX SeX's hardware, but it's completely overshadowed any discussion of the game's other merits. It's stupid in my opinion because graphical advances stopped being impressive two generations ago, and the enduring popularity of retro games proves that graphics are like wide receivers in American football – they work best as frosting on an already delicious cake, and NOT as something you build your game or team around.
Anyways, open-world Halo was great in ODST, and I'm looking forward to a better implementation of it here.
Still haven't played through H5 yet (although I have done the first level and have some thoughts), but I've spoiled myself thoroughly. I guess The Created are no longer the bad guys now?
Granted, Mr. Softy brought this on himself by never passing up a chance to brag about the XBOX SeX's hardware
I only realised that the new Xbox's abbreviation is basically all about fornication now that you put it in black and white there. Which, of course, are basically the only colours that the Xbox SEX will be offered in.
It's stupid in my opinion because graphical advances stopped being impressive two generations ago
Yeah absolutely right. The HALO games of 10-15 years ago are far superior to a lot of the stuff out these days, simply because they stuck to what works – plot, character, gameplay, the end. No social justice bullshit, no constant use of Deus ex Machina, no ridiculously overpowered Mary Sues, no completely barmy plot points – just GOOD OLD FASHIONED HARDCORE GAMEPLAY.
I guess The Created are no longer the bad guys now?
Well, they are by the end of H5:G, but since HI is going to be a spiritual reboot of sorts, who knows?
You know, I never really listened to Coldplay, in fact I couldn't even remember a single song they did, so when I sent the pic to my wife I didn't really understand the joke.
I watched a couple of vdeos and they were truly awful, so I asked her if there was anything they did that actually was popular or sounded good, and she sent me to a video.
It turns out the only song they did which was even remotely popular or sounded good sounds exactly like they were trying to copy Sting during his 'mellow' period.
Yeah, I guess that a band that can only sound 'somewhat' good by blatantly ripping off Sting is pretty pathetic.
Then again, my preferred music is NiN, Rob Zombie, Enya, the Bee Gees, Tim McGraw, Whitney Houston, and Earl Scruggs… Often one after the other.
But, if you ever want to understand why Tim McGraw is worth listening to, even if you are a Hard-rock non-redneck, listen to 'Don't take the Girl'. I laugh my way through tragedies, sneer at starving african telethons, and consider 'Dexter' to be one of the funniest shows on Television… but Don't take the girl brought a tear to my eye the first time I listened to it. Dammit.
You know, I never really listened to Coldplay, in fact I couldn't even remember a single song they did, so when I sent the pic to my wife I didn't really understand the joke.
Listening to Coldplay makes your testosterone levels drop precipitously. In fact, as Owen Benjamin pointed out in one of his comedy specials, they play THE EXACT SAME DAMNED SONG every single time.
It turns out the only song they did which was even remotely popular or sounded good sounds exactly like they were trying to copy Sting during his 'mellow' period.
With a lot more adenoids thrown in.
weird deep music. Hauser (2 cellos) and his girlfriend doing a cover for "I will always love you"
Her voice is kinda staggeringly good.
youtu.be/u7FkfFjBMq8
The girls with guns look superior to the instathot. I need to know their names…. for research purposes of course.
tineye.com is your friend in this situation