Did you ever wonder what our favourite metal songs would sound like without all of that lovely distortion that gives really great heavy metal its eardrum-raping sound?

No?

Oh. Well, then, don’t wonder no longer:

Bloody hell. That makes SLAYER sound like Herman and the Monkees…

By the way, that incredibly weak and thin guitar sound does, in fact, work for certain bands. If you listen to pretty much every single IRON MAIDEN album ever, you’ll notice very quickly that whether they have two guitar players or three, the sum total of the guitar sound always seems as though the band is making do with a country band’s gear.

Another particularly egregious offender in this regard is actually HELLOWEEN, with the album Better Than Raw. On certain tracks, such as “Hey Lord” and “Time”, the guitar sound was remarkably thin- especially when you compare it with later albums like The Dark Ride and 7 Sinners.

But that doesn’t mean that these are bad albums. In fact, IRON MAIDEN’s signature guitar sound is part of what makes the band so great. That thin guitar sound allows for a much heavier rhythm section, which is why the band’s sound has never really been successfully replicated- it works beautifully for them, and only for them.

Nonetheless, I’m going to need some REAL metal to restore my testosterone levels after listening to that. To wit:

Ahhh… much better.