“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning mech warfare

by | Jan 13, 2025 | Mondays | 2 comments

Ugh. Monday is back again, along with the horrid stink that accompanies it – two parts armpit, one part jockstrap. (This is also known as “eau de Secaucus” – large parts of New Jersey have a permanent “Monday stench” to them, after all.) I am fortunately almost back up to full strength, after a solid 4 days of mostly bed-rest and meme-slinging, but then I realised it was Monday, and much of my good cheer from healing up, quickly evaporated.

Oh well. We might as well get this week’s Great Mondaydact Browser Smelter off to a good quick start.

We kick off the week with everyone’s favourite busiest bald YOOTOOBER, who explains what the future of armoured warfare might look like:

This brings to mind a classic episode from everyone’s favourite insulin-dosing shit-talker, PancreasNoWork, about Battletech:

And another one from Mechanical Frog about whether Battletech is worth playing this year:

Me, personally, I don’t really have a dog in that fight, since I only care about HALO – but, to be honest, given how badly Microsoft has cocked up that particular IP, I might be searching for a new obsession soon, and what could be more worth obsessing over than GIANT STOMPY MECHAS!!!!!


The Mighty God-Emperor

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, held a YUUUUGE pre-inauguration press conference, in which he talked BIGLY about a lot of different topics – lots of topics, the most topics of any President ever in history, it was the greatest, I tell you what, the greatest press conference ever done, nobody’s ever done a press conference like it, best press conference you’ve ever seen, no way Biden or Harris could ever have done something like that:

While I am very obviously mocking (gently) Ornj Boi’s speech patterns, it is worth noting that he DID say some amazingly sensible things during that conference – though you sort of have to go looking for it in the midst of the all the fun/crazy stuff about Canuckistan, Greenland, and the Panama Canal.

For instance, he actually came right out and said that NATO expansion was a threat to Russia and the reason why the Russians went to war.

That is the smartest thing I have heard out of an American politician in about THIRTY YEARS.

It is also obvious that Trump, unlike Brandon, has the brains and sense to fear nuclear war. He DOES NOT want it, and believes that escalation toward that threshold is genuinely insane.

Again, he is talking sense, in a way that most American politicians cannot do.

So I am cautiously optimistic for the next 4 years. We will of course have to wait and see whether his agenda gets co-opted and buried, like it was before, but I think we now have good reason for hope.


#BasedTucker is Based

One of the best and funniest interviews #BasedTucker has ever done. I laughed like a drain while listening to it, for over 90 minutes.

Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain has got lots of stuff for us this week to get the old gears whirring. We start with one from How Money Works, explaining how to put a permanent end to financial fraud – with a caveat:

Unsolicited Advice unpacks the concept of mimetic desire:

hoe_math details how your words determine the quality of your life:


Fanservice

LRFotS Randale6 is back with a heady contribution of material for the day. We start with Carbot Animations, which is about 6-minute breakdowns of Warhammer 40K: Space Marine II single player and multiplayer across two videos:

He also gives a truly… fitting video explaining Helldivers 2, even the devs would be impressed!:

Meatcanyon

Yes, it’s for real… he’s made a horror manga:

Papa Meat

When Animals Eat Their Owners:

Ranking Every Fast Food Pumpkin Spice Product:

The Most Horrifying PSA Videos:

Youtube’s Dumbest Criminals:


Mind-Expanding Drugs

Via Dawn Pine, we have a video from PsycHacks that explains how to use the tension created by conflict in a constructive way to make and stick to a decision:

And another one showing how you can put your woman to work FOR you, rather than against you:


Death Smiles At Us All…


Poli-Ticking Off

Mark Dice does his very best helium-voiced Brian “Pillsbury Doughboy” Stelter impression while mocking the whore-media, who are utterly horrified by the rollback of speech restrictions at Meta and Amazon:

Let us be very clear about something:

Cuckerberg and Bozos are not doing this because they are good people who have seen the light and repented of their mistakes made during the Scamdemic and the Fake Election. This is absolute NONSENSE. These oligarchs are every bit as corrupt and evil as they have always been. They are simply changing their stance because the political climate has changed, and they want to curry favour with the God-Emperor.

That does not mean their platforms can, or should, be trusted. At all.


The very-thoroughly-married couple at Redacted investigate the real story behind the out-of-control wildfires in Clownipornia:


PJW is not at all happy with Queer Starmer’s refusal to investigate the Pakistani grooming gangs roaming loose in PommieBastardLande:


Lord Razor of the Fist Clan rips the leadership of Los Angeles a new one in the midst of the fiery inferno that is burning Gomorrah to the ground:


Judge’s Ruling

Judge Nap talks to Prof. Jeffrey Sachs about the possibility of peace under the incoming Trump Administration:


Veterans’ Club

LTC Danny Davis talks to his former boss and good friend, DA KERNEL HIZZSELF, about Bellendsky the Narcofuehrer’s latest drug-fuelled rants on the Lex Fridman podcast, and on other topics:

With respect to that podcast episode – I have not watched it, and I refuse to watch it, because I harbour such total contempt for Bellendsky, who is nothing more than a very bad and hugely overpaid actor. But, having watched a few clips from that interview, it is very obvious that Fridman let Bellendsky get away with a bewildering, even staggering, number of falsehoods – particularly the ones related to nuclear weapons.

As I and so many others have explained SO MANY TIMES, Ukraine NEVER HAD its own nuclear weapons. This is a complete fiction by people who have never read the Budapest Memorandum, and do not understand the realities of the Soviet nuclear arsenal at the time of its collapse.

The fact is that Fridman could, and should, have challenged Bellendsky about that. He did not. That shows Fridman did not do his homework.


Дед Сварливый Говорит!

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily, about the very real differences in national character between the US and Russia – which help to explain why the US cannot win its wars, while Russia is crushing all in its path in Ukraine:


Polonium

Ania Konieczek talks to Larry Johnson about whether the Fake Administration will find a way to doom us all in its last few days in office:

January 20 CANNOT ARRIVE FAST ENOUGH, at this point.


Timeo Danaos Et Donna Ferentes…

The good gentlemen of The Duran did a LONG discussion across numerous subjects, centred primarily on the Trump Peace Plan – whatever that might be:

The signs from Ornj Boi’s camp make me cautiously optimistic. It is clear that T-Rex recognises Russian interests and claims, and is not interested in antagonising the Russians further. This is very good news. He also recognises, crucially, that NATO expansion has been a major catalyst for the 404 War, which is the most mature statement I have seen from an American politician in probably a decade.


Big Boyz Toyz

The Eyetie engineer at Millennium 7* HistoryTech tries to figure what this “new” Chinese “stealth bomber” is:


Bad Medicine

Dr. John Campbell apparently got whacked by the same horrid illness that I had/have:


Dr. Suneel Dhand does not like what modern medical practice has become, and refuses to be a part of that racket:


Interesting one here from Dr. Jack Kruse about what fluoride does to your body:


Warriors of Faith

Tha Dizzle and Brother Rachid look at what the Koran ACTUALLY has to say about the crucifixion of Jesus:


Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms has a new course coming out, looking directly at the origins of the Izzlamick heresy:


Al-Fadi from CIRA International shows how Christianity condemns idolatry – while Izzlam only pretends to do so, and in fact embraces it:


Christian Prince obliterates a particularly stupid Moose Limb, who thinks he is smart:


Sam Shamoun shows an honest Muslim the reality of his cult – and, because the other guy is honest, he walks away from Izzlam:


Capturing Christianity uses MAFF to demonstrate the silliness of atheism – though the numbers involved are somewhat contrived, in my opinion:


GodLogic Apologetics shocks a particularly stubborn Muslima with the existence of multiple Arabic Korans:


Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp MANSPLAINS how to go to war in divorce court:


Joker from Better Bachelor is greatly amused by the failure of feminist ideology:


Let’s have a medley of WAMMENZ posting their own Ls online, with manly men mocking them. First up, Legion of Men:

And Manosphere Highlights Daily:

Plus a further dose of hard reality from the Middle Kingdom via China Unvarnished:

Now to Taylor the Fiend:

Finally, Man Talk:


Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge are not optimistic about the upcoming Masters of the Universe re-re-re-reboot:


The Critical Drinker is also not optimistic about the live-action adaptation of The Last of Us 2, which is almost certainly going to replicate the game – and that is a VERY BAD THING:

He is also greatly amused to discover that the leaders of triple-A gaming studios are apparently terrified of HIM:


Reading Too Much Into Things

Your long read of the week is from Big Serge, and it is a monster of a piece about the catastrophic situation that faces Ukraine as the third year of the war concludes and the fourth heaves itself into view:

I think it is well understood, of course, that Ukraine faces severe manpower constraints relative to Russia, both in terms of the raw totals of male biomass available – with roughly 35 million fighting aged males in Russia against perhaps 9 million in prewar Ukraine – but also in terms of its capacity to mobilize them.

Ukraine’s mobilization scheme is hampered by both widespread draft evasion (with willingness to serve decreasing as the war has stretched on) and a stubborn unwillingness to draft younger men, aged 18-25. Ukraine is structurally burdened with a deeply imbalanced population structure: there are roughly 60% more Ukrainian men in their 30’s than in their 20’s. Given the relative scarcity of young men, particularly in their early 20’s, the Ukrainian government rightly views this 18-25 year old cohort as a premium demographic cohort that it is loathe to burn away in combat. Given the ubiquity of draft evasion, the refusal to mobilize younger males, and the corruption and inefficiency characteristic of the Ukrainian government, it should come as no surprise when Ukrainian mobilization falters.

Russia, in contrast, has both a much larger pool of potential recruits and a more efficient apparatus for mobilization. In contrast to Ukraine’s scheme of compulsory conscription, Russia has relied on generous sign-on bonuses to solicit volunteers. Russia’s incentive system, to this point, has provided a steady stream of enlistments that has been more than enough to offset Russian losses. Without going too far into the various speculative estimates of Russian casualties, it is widely acknowledged by western military leadership that Russia has significantly more personnel now than it did at the start of the war.

All of that is to say: Ukraine faces a severe structural disadvantage in military manpower in the aggregate, which is exacerbated by the idiosyncrasies of the Ukrainian mobilization law, ameliorated slightly by the relatively low troop densities and the preponderant power of strike systems in this war.

The argument that I want to make here, however, is that Ukraine’s systemic problems matching Russian manpower have been exacerbated by several developments which specifically became prominent in 2024. In other words, 2024 can and should be marked as the year where Ukrainian manpower constraints became markedly and perhaps irretrievably worse due to specific decisions made in Kiev, and particular developments on the ground.


Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:


HALO Nation

Slayergod Remy aka MintBlitz does his thing while being chuffed to pieces at the restoration of the full original HALO 2 campaign and multiplayer:


BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

Imperial Iterator full-on MANSPLAINS all the various Imperial factions and armies (at the most generic level – not every single bloody Space Marine chapter):


Oh No! Anyway…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:


Comedy Hour

One from The Warp Zone, via Dawn Pine, that gives you an insight into a day in the life of gaming execs:


Meme Warfare

We begin with some dank memes from The Male Brain:

It takes one to know one. H/T Captain Capitalism 
CAN’T CONFIRM, but know a few
Good sense of humor, and common sense

[Yep. Sorks and Japos have very little patience for fatties. – Didact]

Or an UNRWA worker where they were on Oct-7
Indeed
Can’t get enough of him. HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT
Can’t confirm. Takes me 7-10 minutes
Give it a few decades
So it’s a fictional blooper comedy

And now, as LRFotS RobertW likes to say:


Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:


Creature Features

What Lurks Beneath tries to figure out what is spooking the bejeezus out of hunters in the Appalachians:


Real Men Play Real Sports

Gym Beast

Ass-Kicking of the Eight Limbs

They See Me Rollin’…

Federer Express

Clean Bowled

JUST BLEED!!!


Roid Rage

Shredded Sports Science gives us a round-up of all the latest roid-infused idiocy:

BroScienceLife gives everyone unsolicited, and probably not very good, dating advice:


Palate Cleansers

Axe Me Anything

Cut the Deck

TROLLHAMMEREN!

Drumlines

Guitar Heroics

NEVER ENUFF DAKKA!!!

Mighty Wings

Simple answer is: the one that has actually been combat-tested against a near-peer opponent, in a dangerous AD-rich environment. Which is to say, THE RUSSIAN ONE.

Jump-Starts

Gingervitis Injections


Livin’ in the Land of the Metal Gods

Also Einstein: “I fear that someday people will post my pic on the Internet with bogus made-up quotations in Comic Sans font”

Rock Out With Your Glock Out


Thot Shots

And finally, here is your Instathot for the start of the week. This here is Taylor Skully, age 31 from somewhere in Amerikhastan. There is some confusion as to whether she is 31 or 24, depending on which source you choose, but I would argue that if you look at her face – especially her eyes – she is definitely in her early thirties.

On top of which, she has CERTAINLY had some work done, in the form of… shall we say, enhanced airbags.

OK, lads, that’s all, back to work now.

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2 Comments

  1. MrUNIVAC

    Zuckercuck knows damn well that he will be in prison for the rest of his natural life should Trump’s government seriously investigate the millions of Zuckerbucks he spent in service of ensuring the 2020 election fraud. Hence, the groveling.

    Battletech is a great IP and my second favorite fictional universe after Star Wars. I’ve been a big fan since 1995, when I obsessively played MechWarrior 2 and realized one day in a comic store that all of the “history” in the Clan holoprojector came right out of the Wolf and Jade Falcon sourcebooks. There are several distinct eras in the setting, each with its own galactic map and technology level, and although it started as a tabletop wargame, it’s gotten several great video game spinoffs over the years, including real-time tactics (MechCommander), turn-based strategy (HBS BattleTech, which is like X-COM with giant stompy robots), silly action (MechAssault 1 and 2 on the OG XBOX) and my personal favorite, sims (like MechWarrior 2) where you pilot said robots, blow stuff up, smash buildings and infrastructure like an angry mechanized Godzilla. This 1d6chan entry is a long, but quite informative, summary of the whole enterprise:
    https://1d6chan.miraheze.org/wiki/BattleTech

    Unfortunately, the current IP holders (Catalyst Game Labs) are hellbent on burning down the IP as quickly as possible. There have been several controversies this decade, but the most recent one involves a classic infiltration by an SJW community manager, who then proceeded to mass ban every “problematic” personality in the fandom while giving a megaphone to anyone who toes the progressive line and looking the other way on their actual antisocial behavior. The wiki (Sarna.net) is completely converged, and certain authors who publish canon fiction love dragging Current Year political and social issues into a setting where it makes absolutely no sense to include them.

    Lord Raz0r of the Fist Clan himself is a diehard BattleTech fan, and here admonishes us to enjoy the franchise without giving one red cent to the a-holes at CGL:
    https://youtu.be/z86sIScsZqQ?si=OcBO5roqfA2-RCt_

    I personally recommend HBS BattleTech. Despite being a heavily simplified version of the tabletop game and some very mild silliness with pronouns up front, it’s an awesome game. I love having to play Space Accountant and having to make payroll every month, and decide which missions to take on the basis of “will I actually be able to make a profit on this if it goes sideways and my mechs and pilots get all tore up?”
    https://store.steampowered.com/app/637090/BATTLETECH/

    They also just released MW5: Clans this year, which I have not played but which the fandom has responded very positively to:
    https://store.steampowered.com/app/2000890/MechWarrior_5_Clans/

    Tex of the Black Pants Legion also releases a few insanely detailed videos per year on either a particular model of BattleMech or inflection points in BattleTech history. They are entertaining as hell even if you know nothing about the setting.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa1rfZsKfa0&list=PLR5zhFCFVb9XC9FtMuHzgdcl0WvfsQdC0

    Enjoy, and remember – KILL THE MEAT, SAVE THE METAL!

    Reply
  2. Randale6

    As a battletech enthusiast myself I can recommend both HBS battletech and Mechwarriors 5: Mercenaries. I do not recommend Mechwarrior 5: Clans at this time. The people who cooked up both Mechwarrior 5s are Piranha, they do make good games but they have a nasty habit of releasing their games undercooked. Give Clans some time to stabilize (literally, the transition to Unreal Engine 5 has not been smooth), Piranha does fix it’s shit but it takes them a while.

    Reply

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