“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning drone strike

by | Jan 6, 2020 | Mondays, Uncategorized | 6 comments

It’s Monday, and if you are reading this on your computer, then you presumably have not been turned into a cloud of constituent atoms hovering over an irradiated wasteland, and WWIII has not broken out yet.

The reason why I bring this up is, of course, because a certain Iranian General got his ass blown all over the wall of an airport in Iraq last week.

Now, as I indicated in my Friday post, this is very much a mixed bag.

It is obviously not a good thing, at all, that the God-Emperor has stuck America right back into the position of getting into a shooting war with Iran. That is a war that I expect America to LOSE, really, really badly.

On the other hand, evidence has clearly emerged that Soleimani and the Quds Force was planning to launch attacks on American soil, within the contiguous lower 48. This was no choirboy that got blowed the frack up. This was a very, very nasty piece of work and a very effective tool of the Ayatollahs in their war against America.

Furthermore, be it noted for the record that any attack on a national consulate or embassy IS an act of war. It is a direct attack on sovereign soil. That is what an embassy is. An American embassy in India or Singapore or Russia or anywhere else IS sovereign American soil.

Such an attack requires a response. And the God-Emperor’s response was immediate, direct, forceful, and brutal – exactly the opposite of the response from the Obarmy Maladministration after Benghazi in 2012.

Note also that, as far as Iran is concerned, they have been at war with the USA, as a matter of official settled state policy, since 1979. This is not a war that America started. This is a war that the mullahs made a matter of daily life for their people when they toppled the American-backed Shah of Persia.

We will see over the coming days whether the God-Emperor is so foolish as to commit ground troops into a real shooting war with Iran. Further commentary and analysis from our beloved and dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) indicates that the obvious actions of the God-Emperor are, in fact, anything but obvious, and that he may well have dropped a bombshell (literally) simply as a prelude to forcing the Iraqis to shoulder their own defensive burden.

If so, then the God-Emperor deserves fulsome praise, not condemnation, for (a) taking out a seriously nasty threat to his people, and (b) getting America, at long bloody last, OUT of its damned fool Syracuse Expedition to the Middle East.

It should also be remembered that Iran has some major problems of its own, related to its demographics and its economy.

The Ayatollahs don’t want you to know this, but in fact Iran has a serious demographic problem on its hands. Its birth rate has collapsed in the space of a single generation, as David P. Goldman pointed out several years ago, and is now running well below the replacement rate. The mullahs know damned well that their civilisation is in the midst of a real existential crisis.

On top of that, their economy has even more serious problems, exacerbated by Western sanctions to be sure. but also made much worse by the fact that Islamic nations don’t tend to have much of a clue how to manage their economies properly, as a general rule.

As if all of that weren’t enough, there is plenty of reason to believe that the Iraqis are sick and tired of Iranian interference in their affairs. This is unsurprising if you think about it. While Iraqis and Iranians share a common religion – Shi’a Islam – and a common antipathy toward the globally dominant Sunni version of that faith, in virtually every other aspect, they are very different.

Iraq is made up of a significant Sunni minority, a large Shi’a majority, and a decent chunk of the total Kurdish population. The Arabs of Iraq speak a very different language to the Persians of Iran. And Persians historically considered Arabs to be unwashed smelly goats who couldn’t figure out how to take a shit in private, never mind how to build a real civilisation.

Given the long and glorious history that Persia can rightfully claim as its own, this highly snooty attitude has considerable justification.

None of this means that America can easily win a war against Iran. Quite the opposite is true. In fact, back in 2002, the US Navy conducted an asymmetrical warfare wargame to assess whether they could defeat Iran’s military in an outright war.

The Red Force team was led by a Marine Corps Lieutenant General named Paul Van Riper. The fact that LtGen Riper was – is – a Marine, is key to the rest of this story.

The Marines are probably the only major branch of the US military that still take the concept of manoeuvre warfare and out-of-the-box strategic and tactical thinking really seriously, overall, though I have no doubt that there are some exceptions within the Army and Air Force these days. And that has a lot of implications for the ways that Marines think about wargaming and simulation exercises.

Here is how the particular exercise in question turned out:

Despite being significantly outgunned by a much more technologically-advanced adversary, Van Riper launched a massive shock cruise missile salvo that overwhelmed the Blue Team’ Aegis Ballistic Missile Defense System radars, sinking a significant portion of what was the equivalent to a strike carrier group. He then led a shock guerilla-like assault of fast attack craft that finished off much of what remained using missiles and suicide charges.



As Micah Zenko recounted in his 2015 book Red Team: How to Succeed by Thinking Like the Enemy, Bell admitted that Van Riper’s forces had “sunk my damn navy,” and had inflicted “an extremely high rate of attrition, and a disaster, from which we all learned a great lesson.”



Rather than concede the losses, however, the Pentagon’s control team overseeing the exercise simply chose to bring the fallen back to life and then further artificially constrain the Red Team’s abilities in a way that it could not possibly succeed, a disgruntled Van Riper later recounted in a private e-mail leaked by the Army Times. “Instead of a free-play, two-sided game,” he argued, “it simply became a scripted exercise.”

I hope that the God-Emperor is paying attention to the fact that his chief military advisers probably don’t know what the hell they’re up against with Iran. And I pray that he heeds his instincts to stay out of unnecessary wars in the Middle East, rather than listening to his hawkish neoclown advisers.

As with all things related to the God-Emperor’s military decisions, the best thing to do is to watch and wait. We have all made the mistake of jumping to judge him harshly for breaking his promises before, only to discover a few weeks or months later that President Trump has in fact de-escalated the situation and that his shows of force have had actual tangible effects on the ground.

Stay optimistic, keep the faith with Donald Trump, and pray for him. He’s the best we’ve got right now. In fact, given that he is literally telling the Iraqis to pay up for the vast expenditure in blood and treasure that America has given in order to, basically, keep things more or less exactly as they were, I would argue that he is far better than America deserves at this point.

All of that being said – the best part of the whole Soleimani situation, for me at least, comes from the fact that, right before the drone strike happened, Iran’s Supreme Leader basically said, “Y’ALL CAN’T DO SHIT TO ME!!!”

And then the God-Emperor shoved a Hellfire missile straight up the ass of one of his top generals and blew his guts all over the wall of an airport in Iraq.

As if that wasn’t hilarious enough – one of my readers told me the other day that the warhead was originally specifically chosen to be of foreign make, so as to divert initial suspicion from the USA.

Can you IMAGINE the looks on the faces of the Persians when they went to scrape the remains of their choirboy off the wall of Baghdad Airport and saw “MADE IN CHINA” stenciled on the warhead casing?!?!

Just goes to show you that the God-Emperor is also the Troll King.

***

#BasedTucker is based:

Mr. Carlson is right that war with Iran would be an absolute and utter bloody disaster for America. It would mean the destruction of the myth of American military competence and superiority, pretty much forever, and would result in the deaths of tens of thousands of Americans for no good end.

As with all such situations, however, let us have a bit of faith in His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name.

We have seen in the past that the God-Emperor has been extremely restrained in his use of force and has tried very hard to avoid taking life where he can avoid it. And we have seen that he very clearly wants to stay the hell out of foreign entanglements. His instincts serve him well, and we have also seen clearly that ultimately, he listens to them over his own advisers most of the time.

So, as with all such things, take a day or two for a breather, and see what happens next. Always take 48 hours to assess what the God-Emperor has done. We’ve had more than those 48 hours already, and the world has not yet ended, America has not yet sent troops to invade Iran, and Donald Trump is STILL YOUR PRESIDENT!!!



Pray God that he never buckles under and tries to invade Iran. If he does – which I consider highly unlikely – then all bets are off.

Also, in case you’re wondering just why it is that I listen to Tucker Carlson, when I spend so much time shitting all over just about every other media talking head, it’s because he says sensible things:

Tucker Carlson, the host of Tucker Carlson Tonight on the Fox News Channel, joined Breitbart News Saturday on SiriusXM 125 the Patriot Channel for an exclusive interview Saturday morning to give his thoughts on how the Republican Party has changed in many ways for the better in the past decade, especially under President Donald Trump, but how it is not happening “fast enough.”



Asked about a report from an editor at the Cook Political Report that 43 percent of Republicans who served in the U.S. House of Representatives have left office since Trump’s inauguration—either by choice, or by losing elections—Carlson said that the GOP is rapidly changing to become a party focused on mirroring the president’s views on core issues like trade and immigration, but even with the dramatic shifts, it still is not happening quickly enough.



“Yeah, probably not fast enough but that’s a really interesting question and you’re one of the few people who seems to have noticed that,” Carlson said. “There’s lot of reasons for it, but one of the reasons for it is the Republican Party was not expecting Trump and they’re not with Trump on the issues. But people are retiring because they’re not with the Trump program on the issues, wouldn’t you say?”



“The problem with the Trump era is that everything is about Trump,” Carlson continued. “And so it makes it hard to see things clearly. The left thinks everything is about Trump, and Trump thinks everything is about Trump—not to take away from Trump, I think he’s a transformative president, and I know him and happen to like him, but not everything is about Trump. That’s absurd and only a child would think that. Trump is of course the culmination of a lot of different trends. And because he is this mesmerizing, magnetic, polarizing, divisive figure—he’s all of those things—you kind of can’t see what’s happening. But what’s actually happening is voters on the left and right are increasingly rejecting politics that has no positive effect on their lives. People vote for politicians to make their lives better. It’s not that complicated—democracy is pretty simple that way. Increasingly they don’t get caught up in some kind of theoretical scheme like global warming or diversity or on the Republican side ‘free markets.’ They’re serving theories rather than people. A little bit of that is fine, but over time that doesn’t work. People reject it because it doesn’t bear fruit for them. That’s really the big change.”



Carlson said that President Trump instinctively recognized this failure by the political establishment in 2016, and seized on it to win the last presidential election.



“Trump showed up in his instinctive way, he could smell all of this—he couldn’t always articulate it, but he could feel it,” Carlson said. “And he shows up and he’s basically like ‘the people in charge are doing a completely crappy job and they don’t care about you and they’re not meeting your basic needs.’ The expressions of that were immigration and trade and a couple of other things, but really that’s what it was about. The people in charge didn’t care about the country and the country was rotting. I think the realignment is really a response to that. It’s not just about Trump and they think he’s obnoxious or whatever—okay, it’s way deeper than that. They’ve been caught. They’ve been exposed as fraudulent. They haven’t done anything for the country. Like, how have you improved America? They haven’t, actually. And they’ve presided over its decline. They should be punished, and they are being punished—and thank God for that.”



Several big name Republicans, ranging from former House Speaker John Boehner to former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor to former House Speaker Paul Ryan have all left office—either by losing, being forced out, or stepping aside—over the past decade, clearing the way for newer, younger Republicans to rise up.





Tucker Carlson is easily the smartest and most interesting of all of the talking heads out there right now. He certainly is one of the only ones that has his head screwed on properly.



***

Mark Dice has compiled a set of President Trump’s greatest burns and put-downs against his opponents, and they are brilliant:

Don’t try to match wits with the Troll-Emperor.

***

Gentlemen, as much as I hate to say it, the fact is that the reign of the God-Emperor must one day come to an end.

So what do you think about the possibility of crowning His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra JUNIOR, the SECOND of His Name, in 2024?

Republican voters chose two of President Donald Trump’s children as their top choices for president in 2024, according to a recent poll.



The Axios/Survey Monkey poll found that 29 percent of Republican voters favored Donald Trump Jr. as their choice for president, and 16 percent of Republicans favored Ivanka Trump as their presidential choice.



Only Vice President Mike Pence was able to gain more support among Republicans as a 2024 choice for president at 40 percent. Donald Trump Jr. was the top choice among younger Republicans, while Pence was the favorite among older Republicans.



Ivanka Trump and Donald Trump Jr. join a long list of elected officials who have openly supported the president.



Trump Jr. has emerged as one of his father’s staunchest supporters, frequently going after the left with his Twitter account, which has 4.2 million followers, and serving as an opener for his father’s presidential rallies. He also released a #1 New York Times bestselling book, called Triggered: How the Left Thrives on Hate and Wants to Silence Us.

OK, first things first:

Any “Republican” who wants Ivanka Trump to succeed the God-Emperor, needs to have his head examined. At bare minimum. I would go so far as to prescribe getting smacked in the face with a wet mackerel as a proper treatment.

The woman is a liberal New York elitist married to a globalist Jew. For God’s sake, gentlemen, ENOUGH ALREADY with this “strawng empowahhhhed muh cuckservative wamenz wit teh gunz and bewbs!!!” thing!

America does not need a woman in charge. America needs a man in charge with the balls and the guts to take the fight straight to the enemies of the people.

Since 2015, that man has been His Most Noble Majesty, the God-Emperor. The only worthy successor that we have on the horizon is plainly his oldest son, who is even less inclined to play nice with the Daemoncrats than his dad.

At the very least, we’ll need Donaldus Triumphus Jr. to keep the throne warm, and prevent the country from falling apart, long enough for his little brother Barronus Triumphus Magnus to ascend to it.

***

It’s not like anyone who reads this blog needs to be told that the f***ing whores in the (((media))) – Lord, forgive me my redundancies, and profanity – are utterly shameless liars and shills, but it’s nice to hear it from someone else for a change:

***

PJW’s review of 2019 is not kind, at all:

***

The Male Brain sent over a very interesting TEDx Talk about what happens to your brain when you feel the presence of the Holy Spirit:

What isn’t interesting is the fact that the comments section is flooded by a bunch of atheist trolls. Poor deluded fools think that faith in God, and oneness with the Holy Spirit, is the same as being brainwashed or addicted to a drug – without ever stopping to think about the proven fact that accepting faith into your life actually makes you better.

Also, where this chap gets it badly wrong is his notion that it is possible to use science to make religion better. Nope. Not gonna happen.

You CANNOT use rational arguments to stop Hindus from believing that cows are sacred and you can’t eat them.

You CANNOT use rational arguments to convince Orthodox Jews that the Mosaic dietary laws don’t make sense.

You CANNOT use rational arguments to teach Muslims that their “prophet” was, in fact, a mass-murdering rapist, paedophile, liar, and degenerate scumbag.

And you CANNOT use rational arguments to persuade Christians that Jesus did not turn loaves into fishes, did not change water into wine, and did not return from death.

That is where faith comes in. And that is way beyond purely rational understanding.

***

Your “Awwwwww” of the Week:

***

Badd Popp explains the origins of the “Space Ghost” meme:

I actually grew up watching old episodes of Space Ghost as a kid. It is interesting to look back and consider him as a sort of “MGTOW Mascot”.

The major difference between him and most MGTOWs, of course, is that Space Ghost actually stood up to evil and fought it. MGTOWs refuse to do so.

***

The massive disparity between critics and viewers of Netflix’s The Witcher is noteworthy because it once again shows how useless film and TV critics really are:

I actually finished watching the entire series on New Year’s Eve. It is surprisingly compelling – mostly because of Henry Cavill’s brooding, mumble-growling charisma. There is, unfortunately, far too much woke bullshit in the show, but it is at its core a well-made and interesting human drama that doesn’t go too far overboard with the titillation – unlike, oh, say, Game of Groans.

The series has its problems, and I for one certainly will not give it a 93% rating – but I do think it merits far better than the 59% critic rating that it has received. And, again, that is mostly because of Mr. Cavill. He is very good as Geralt of Rivia. I’d give it at least an 80% – solid, even excellent in places, but has its problems.

I just wish that the showrunners would stop dicking about with the racial identities and looks of important characters like Yennefer and Triss and… umm… er… what’s that other dude’s name? Yeah, you get the idea – far too much woke stupidity and far too many people whose names nobody gives a toss about.

Still and all, I must revise my previous opinion of this show and state for the record that once you watch it all the way through, it makes QUITE a lot more sense and actually does hang together rather well. It is a pretty decent, though not great or spectacular, show. An 80% rating is about right for this thing, in my opinion.

And it is obvious from the interview as well that Henry Cavill is a truly stand-up guy who understands the passions of the fans and does not pander to anyone. The more I see of the man, the more I respect him for his work ethic, quiet affable personality, and dedication to physical fitness.

Dude’s my age, actually, though you wouldn’t know it if we were standing side by side.

***

The Drinker reviews The Mandalorian, and finds it to be… well, competent:

I suppose this is what is meant by “damning with faint praise”.

The Witcher, on the other hand, is much better than I initially thought it would be.

***

The Department of Righteous Shootings has a new employee of the month:

The “Good Guy With a Gun” who shot that “choirboy” dead is a hero, no question about it – though he himself denies this. Apparently he is a former reserve sheriff’s deputy and a firearms instructor with an FBI background.

Jack Wilson is a volunteer member of the West Freeway Church of Christ’s security team. He put down the attacker with a single headshot from a distance of roughly 25 feet.

That, right there, is superb marksmanship. I know it’s not good to be envious, but given that the last time I tried pistol shooting was like 8 years ago and I absolutely stank at it, I do envy him those skills.

God bless Mr. Wilson and all others like him who stand up righteously in the face of evil.

As for the lickspittles in the (((media))) who bitch and whine about this krool and hartless!!!11!! treatment of an innocent bystander, you can take your liberaltard hypocrisy and [CENSORED FOR SAKE OF PUBLIC DECENCY].

That video, right there, is a demonstration of what can happen when you put weapons in the hands of men trained to use them.

The lesson to all of you is very clear.

Get yourself a gun. Train yourself in its proper, correct, and safe usage. Practice as often as you can afford to do. And be ready for the time when, God forbid, you have to use it.

Also – God bless Texas, and don’t nobody mess with it!

***

I know that talking about that atrocious shitpile, The Fall of Skywalker, is kind of flogging a dead bantha at this point (nerd alert), but apparently the situation behind the scenes is far, FAR worse than any of us realised:

***

Related – El Razorfist goes straight from flogging said dead bantha to pouring gelignite on it and ASSPLODING it all:

***

My friend and fellow shitlord Last Redoubt mentioned a while back that The Death of Stalin was an extremely effective black comedy, and in fact the filmmakers had to leave out significant events because they were simply too batshit insane to put on film.

I can believe that:

***

From Dawn Pine, here’s a great video about the 5 stages that relationships typically go through:

And on a related note:

***

Linkage is good for you:

***

The Neo-Tsar explains how Russian military technology in the field of hypersonics has basically overtaken anything that the USA has right now:

Also, see his take on why Russia is basically developing its own internet capabilities to allow the country to seal itself off from the West’s servers and DNS protocols if it has to:

When it comes to the Neo-Tsar and his claims about what his government will and will not do, always take what he says with a small helping of salt.

The Neo-Tsar is not at all above arresting and imprisoning his political rivals if he sees fit to do so. He is not above suspending the freedoms of his people if he feels it is necessary. And he does not much care for the idea of “democracy” insofar as it amounts to mob rule.

The best way that I have seen to think of the Neo-Tsar and his policies is to consider him as a man who loves his country, but is not really too bothered about its people.

And yet… this is the same Neo-Tsar who has put in place policies designed specifically to protect the Russian people from immigration and boost its low birth rates (with mixed results). And he is the same man who has turned Russia’s military from a standing joke 20 years ago, to one of the most effective pound-for-pound battle-hardened fighting organisations anywhere in the world.

Winston Churchill once referred to Russia as “a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma”. Something similar could be said about one Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

In the end, I respect and trust Putin far more than I do just about any Western government figure beyond the God-Emperor, and for the same reasons.

***

Your history lessons of the week:

***

Ricky Gervais may be an atheist, but he evidently has no problems whatsoever with skewering Hollyweird elites and their pretensions, predilections, and perversions:

You actually have to read the full monologue to realise just how much ass-pain he unleashed on that audience of stuck-up self-important blow-hards and hypocrites. It was EPIC.

And the funniest part of the whole thing is that his opening diatribe is the ONLY part of the Golden Globes that anyone will bother watching. The rest of it was totally useless.

***

Comedy hour:

***

Related – this next lot of clips is all from our good friend The Male Brain, and consists of comedy clips from some great Israeli comedians:

***

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

***

Pics, girls, guns:

For the purists out there – “С новым годом, и Трумп ещё вашего президента”. And yes, I did that without Google Translate. My Russian is actually not that bad, though my Russian acquaintances might beg to differ.

Thanks to ol’ PJW back upstairs, I learned about this hilarious new “YES” meme that’s kicking around teh innarwebz, and boy is it a good ‘un.

Post image

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Y’all hear that?

That’s the sound of Leftist heads ASSPLODING from overexposure to based awesomeness.

Headlines of the week, and Floriduh Man is definitely up and moving about:

Your “WAY Too Much Information” moment of the week:

Your “Karma is a Bitch” moment of the week:

Your “NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!” moment of the week:

Your “Not Touching That One” moment of the week:

Девушки с оружием красота, оружие, девушки

***

Your dog of the week is the Galgo Espanol:

spanish dog breeds - galgo

***

The Trap Lord looks back over the biggest gym idiots of 2019, and my God but there are some howlers in this lot:

***

Something old, something new, something new, something beastly, something blue:

***

Girls, pay attention:

***

Alan Roberts from Every Damn Day Fitness has some very trenchant things to say about New Year’s “Resolutions”:

***

Remember back when Conor Macgregor was a true force of nature in the cage and not some drunk foul-mouthed shitty whiskey salesman?

Yeah, well, back in those days, he really knew how to put a beatdown on someone:

***

Your first Buakaw Beatdown of 2020 just goes to show you, once again, that Rule #1 of Life is, and always will be, DO. NOT. F***. WITH. BUAKAW. BANCHAMEK.:

***

#HeavyMetalHighway

You know how I’ve said in the past that I’m not really sure about AMARANTHE anymore? Well, here’s why:

I love SABATON. I used to love AMARANTHE, back when they made somewhat decent records. But the two ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT be mixed.

On the other hand, this next cover is really good:

***

And finally, here is your first Monday Instathot of 2020. Rather fittingly, she is Russian and a redhead. This is quite an unusual combination in the Great Frozen North that is Russia; in all the time that I have spent there I cannot think of more than five women that I have seen, out of hundreds or even thousands on the city streets, in the metro, and at the gyms and restaurants and parks that I visited, that were gingers. You’d have more luck finding ginger girls in New York City, where there is significantly greater Irish stock to be found.

Anyway, her name is Yulia (or Julia) Yaroshenko, she’s 30 years old, and she lives in Mother Russia. She’s apparently known for, shall we say, artistic modelling. This is merely a polite term for “takes her clothes off and gets photographed in the nude”. As far as I can tell she isn’t a PR0N actress. She – or more likely her photographer – does overdo it with the orange light filters, but there is no question that she has quite a unique look to her.

I reckon our friendly resident Badger is going to like her.

And I believe that with this selection just about everyone should be satisfied – even the most persnickety and stuck-up of Australians – since we have managed to reach several critical market sectors here:

Guys who like Slavic chicks;

Guys who like athletic chicks;

Guys who like chicks with nice racks;

Guys who like chicks with nice butts;

Guys who like chicks with frizzy hair;

Guys who like redheads; and

Girls.

Am I not kind?

Right, on with the CRUSHING!!!, gentlemen. Those SJW skulls aren’t going to become fine wine goblets by themselves.

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6 Comments

  1. Post Alley Crackpot

    In a dry desert wadi
    Sandy winds of despair
    Smells of burning oilwells
    Get stuck in their hair
    Down below in the valley
    They saw a tank firefight
    Their gunners drew their heavies
    And their sights drew in
    Then the tanks stopped their fight

    There he stood at the airport
    We heard the munitions fell
    Anyone on the ground there wasn't thinking
    This could be Heaven, because this was Hell
    Then they raised up the Red Flag
    And declared a new day
    There were muezzins inside the temple
    Afterward people heard voices say

    Welcome to the Hotel Iran Republic
    Such a bloody place (such a bloody place)
    Plenty of room at the Hotel Iran Republic
    Any kind of fear (any kind of fear)
    You can find it here

    His mind was definitely twisted
    His brother sold Evin experience tours
    But his eyes never misted
    When his brother sent those friends of yours
    How they made movies in the Seventies
    And lived without a regret
    Some fled to London to remember
    Most fled anywhere to forget

    So I called up the Ayatollah
    Send over tea, don't need any wine
    He said, We haven't had any spirit here
    Since Nineteen Seventy-Nine
    And those prison voices at Evin scream away
    Waking everyone in the middle of the night
    So everyone could hear them say

    Welcome to the Hotel Iran Republic
    Such a bloody place (such a bloody place)
    Plenty of room at the Hotel Iran Republic
    We have nice allies (we have nice allies)
    Who believe our alibis

    Chains hang from the ceilings
    Bare electrical wires aren't nice
    He said, they choose to be prisoners here
    Through their religious device
    And in the Supreme Leader's chambers
    They circle around the Great Beast
    They yell at it their screeching lies
    But they just can't get it to feast

    Looking back, I remember, I was
    Flying into Heathrow
    I had to find a passage out
    And leave behind everything I know
    Relax, said the British border watchman
    People like you, we are ready to receive
    You can leave Iran whenever you like
    But your history will never leave!

    (to the tune of "Hotel California" by The Eagles)

    Reply
    • Didact

      Dude, that takes the cake for the greatest blog comment I've ever seen here.

      Reply
  2. Dire Badger

    Good call on the model. Such a good call, in fact, that I already have a bunch of pictures of Yaroshenko in my stock photos. She's been the base for several RPG characters recently.

    Reply
    • Didact

      Not to brag or anything, but I do know how to pick 'em.

      Reply
    • Post Alley Crackpot

      The Russian model reminds me of Dina Meyer, but one that's been crossed with The Girl from Ipanema …

      That tan … no, seriously, it's that tan.

      My experience with Russian women has not involved anything resembling that tan at all. 🙂

      About that "Hotel California" parody: once I kept hearing that bit about "We haven't had any spirit here since 1979" in my head, I just had to do it.

      Took about thirty minutes.

      You're welcome. 🙂

      Reply
    • Didact

      The Russian model reminds me of Dina Meyer, but one that's been crossed with The Girl from Ipanema …

      Come to think of it, she really does look very much like Dina Meyer. No wonder she looked kind of familiar.

      My experience with Russian women has not involved anything resembling that tan at all. 🙂

      I'd wager it's a combination of consistent use of orange filters on all of her shots, with mixed-race heritage.

      Curly hair is extremely unusual among Russians, as is red hair. My guess is that she is part Armenian. The Armenians have a pretty strong immigrant contingent within Russia – I've met a few of them who work in the southern parts of Moscow where I was staying. Their skin and hair tend toward either very light and red, or darker and black. There is very likely some genetic mixing going on with that girl somewhere in her family tree.

      The fact that Ms Yaroshenko there has curls, supports this notion. A reader of mine personally knows of a Russian girl working in their military who is half-black, and she looks like a catwalk model. (I've seen her picture.) But she has curly hair. This is very unusual among Russian women – and even more so for them to leave it curled.

      About that "Hotel California" parody: once I kept hearing that bit about "We haven't had any spirit here since 1979" in my head, I just had to do it.

      What can I say? It was hilarious and awesome. I have great readers ))

      Reply

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