“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The female jackassalope

by | Jul 19, 2018 | gym idiots, Uncategorized | 3 comments

Back in early 2016, I encountered a particularly foul, vile, and noxious form of humanity in the Temple of Iron, the Crucible of Steel, the Altar to the Iron God – yes, that’s right, in the Holiest of Holies, THE GYM – who was so profoundly stupid and irritating that I promptly invented a new species classification for him: Jackassalopus vaccafoeda.

I thought I had seen enough of such stupidity once already. Unfortunately, it appears that there is now a female of the species as well:

A post shared by gymfuckery™ (@gymfuckery) on

At times like these, swearing in English simply does not suffice. One has to resort to swearing in Russian to capture the full flavour of such stupidity.

(Bookmark that link above. You will thank me for it later.)

To whit:

Что ПИЗДА! Ах ты, ёбаная блядь!!!



Note for the Russian speakers – I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about the dumbass in the video.

And note to the English speakers – I had to include that little disclaimer because what I wrote in Russian is quite rude. And Russians are not known to take insults too well. Just sayin’.

Honestly, given how much stupidity I tend to see from gym idiots here, I am at the point where I really do think that a law should be passed mandating that the Ten Commandments of the Iron God be posted in BIG BOLD LETTERS right inside the reception area of every gym – and that the trainers, who are generally useless, should be replaced by dedicated powerlifters armed with Tasers set to full power, for the specific purpose of zapping idiots who do things like this.

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3 Comments

  1. Dire Badger

    I am trying to figure out if she is trying to damage her spine, break her neck, or break her ankles and sue the Gym.

    Reply
  2. Ward B.

    I have to say that (even though it was a girl), it looked pretty gay…
    Not to mention unsafe and damaging to the body. Two words:
    Home Gym.
    It keeps you away from the idiots, pretenders, and down-right fools.

    Reply
    • Didact

      Or, better yet… the TOTAL GYM! Endorsed by none other than Chuck Norris!!! (Though, it should be remembered: Chuck Norris does not use the Total Gym to exercise. The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to exercise.)

      Reply

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