Longtime readers* will know that I have often, consistently, and vociferously argued that the Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America must be defended at any and all cost, because it guarantees all of the other freedoms and powers reserved to the States and the people and keeps the size of the Federal government small and contained.

Of course, that was before I read this most perspicacious and eloquent article written by that most highly esteemed example of American jurisprudence, Justice John Paul Stevens.

Any halfway decent examination of what Justice Stevens wrote would surely agree with his points about how the Second Amendment does not restrict the Federal government’s ability to regulate, block, or even ban firearms sales.

If you think about it, what Justice Stevens is calling for is entirely reasonable and sane. After all, there are over 32,000 deaths a year caused by guns in the United States of America. Surely repealing the Second Amendment, and strictly regulating all gun sales to individual owners, would save the country over 32,000 lives a year, right?

And before you crazy boring old-fashioned and hopelessly out-of-date right-wingers start spouting your nutty conspiracy theories about how this would result in a Federal government reducing free citizens to a state of absolute despotism and so on and so forth, let’s be really clear about what repealing the Second Amendment would NOT do:

It would not result in us noodle-armed libprog manlets wanting to take your guns via government confiscation.

It would not result in making guns nearly impossible to buy.

And it surely would not result in more deaths caused by mass murderers in gun-free zones.

After all, if the government is sensible enough to take away the right to keep and bear arms, surely the government is also sensible enough to stop mass-murderers like that asshole who shot up that school in Florida recently.

As you can see, this formidable collection of facts and arguments has been more than enough to change the mind of this former shitlord on the subject of gun control. From now on, yer ‘umble servant will devote ximself to spreading messages of peace, tolerance, equality, and brotherly love to all who will listen.

After all, even one death caused by an errant gun-owner is too much. And America already suffers from over 32,000 of them every year.

*Those same longtime readers may also be aware of today’s date, and will treat this post… appropriately. For the new people, and for any SJW idiots who may have stumbled across this by accident – this is what a repealed and rewritten Second Amendment would actually look like:

Dipshits.

And if you want our guns – COME AND GET THEM!!!