Dammit, how is any evil genius megalomaniac supposed to go about smashing electrons together at light-speed in order to create a world-destroying superweapon re-create the conditions that existed at the start of the Universe, if those damn weasels insist on chewing through the freakin’ power cables?!

GENEVA (AP) — It’s one of the physics world’s most complex machines, and it has been immobilized – temporarily – by a weasel. 

Spokesman Arnaud Marsollier says the world’s largest atom smasher, the Large Hadron Collider at CERN outside of Geneva, has suspended operations because a weasel invaded a transformer that helps power the machine and set off an electrical outage on Thursday night. 

Authorities say the incident was one of several small glitches that will delay plans to restart the $4.4 billion collider by a few days.  

Marsollier says Friday that the weasel died – and little remains of it.

The weasel it was that died, eh? Who needs some knucklehead farm-boy in an X-wing- apparently we can destroy Death Stars just by chucking weasels at them!

Indeed, I’m pretty sure that was the plot summary of one of the early, thankfully cancelled, drafts of the original STAR WARS screenplay.

Oh well. At least now we can all rest assured that humanity’s attempts to create the most spectacular light show this side of a quasar can be carried out in peace.