Fellow Vile Faceless Minion #6306 has raised the battle flag for us as the Hugo Awards approach:

Woe to you, trufen and CHORFs, pedophiles! For you wear a tuxedo one night a year, but inside are full of greed, cruelty and self-indulgence.You blind Toad! First clean out your rotten heart, then put on the penguin suit. 

Woe to you, trufen and CHORFs, pedophiles! For you are like Jeff Dahmer’s freezer, which outwardly appears normal and functional, but within are the tortured corpses of all your victims. So you also outwardly appear to earn a rocket the right way, but within your greed has overtaken you. 

Woe to you, trufen and CHORFs, pedophiles! For you give awards out like candy, and you memorialize your giants, saying, ‘If we had lived in the days of Asimov, we would not have taken part with them in the groping of victims.’ Thus you witness against yourselves that you are the children of those who raped children. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers. You monsters, you repugnant worms, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell? 

By appealing to the mercy of the Vile Faceless Minions? 

We have no mercy to give. 

An eternity in Hell is your best alternative.

From one VFM to another:

Oh, did I forget to mention that you probably shouldn’t play that with your speakers cranked up? Whoops.

The Hugo Awards are coming. And we VFMs shall be standing by with napalm, Agent Orange, flamethrowers, and our specially built rapidly collapsible sacrificial altars at the ready.

This should be a gas– and speaking of which: fellow VFMs, please remember to stock up on the same now that it’s below $2/gal. Firelighters available at a discount as well.