“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”
After the cheer and joy of the Christmas and New Year season, it’s time to pay the inevitable price for all of that indulgence by getting back into the gym. So, like you do every year, you grab your kit, head down to your gym at your usual time, and prepare to embrace the pain of discipline to work off all of those extra calories you consumed.
And inevitably, you run smack bang into the reality that about a billion other people had the exact same idea at the exact same time. Which is why your gym looks like an Indian railway platform in summer.
Like this, but with weights. And FAR more stupid.
And just as inevitably, you find yourself surrounded by complete newbies who don’t know what the HELL they’re doing in there.
Therefore, in the grand tradition of sadly fallen brethren like Bronan the Barbarian! and Unleash The Beef, here are five of the most insufferable newbie gym idiots that you’ll see this January, courtesy of guff.com. View them and weep…
1. The REALLY Awkward Gym Buddy
To be as fair as humanly possible, this is actually from BroScienceLife, and they intended to MOCK gym idiots
2. The Accident Waiting to Happen
This is going to be very awkward to explain to the EMT guys…
3. “What Does THIS Machine Do?!?!”
I can FEEL my brain losing power…
4. The Oblivious Spotter
Totally worth leaving your buddy to die
5. The “Qualified Personal Trainer”
OK, I’m a little unclear on this one… is this a tricep dip or a prostate exam?
BONUS!!! The “CrossFit is TOTALLY Functional” Guy
Soon to be elected Mayor of Snap City- with his own assistant too!
Please, God, let it be March already so that we can get rid of these clowns…
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