Literally:

A British woman finally found the partner of her dreams – her pet DOG. 

While she can be sure they won’t leave the toilet seat up or put foam round the sink… there is the chance she might get fleas. 

Amanda Rodgers married her dog Sheba in a romantic ceremony in Croatia. 

The unusual service in Split was attended by 200 people and nobody barked their objection. 

The 46-year-old divorcee wore black stockings and suspenders for the ceremony while Sheba wore a more traditional white bridal frock. 

The Metro reports that she said: “Sheba had been in my life for years, making me laugh and comforting me when I was feeling low. I couldn’t think of anything more I’d need from a life partner.” 

She married a (human) man 20 years ago but the marriage was short lived.

(Courtesy of Dalrock, though I actually saw the story as a link floating around somewhere else yesterday)

The stupidest thing about this whole setup is that we’re not just talking about a marriage to a dog- we’re talking about a marriage to a female dog. Isn’t that, like, double the bad juju? I’m actually going to go ahead and say that it’s more than even money that some female fiction writer out there is going to use this very story as the basis of some sort of lesbian werebeast bondage fiction. (Hey, if books about sex with dinosaurs– and if you tell me that you Googled that s*** on purpose, I’m never coming over to your place for dinner, ever, for any reason– are selling well, then this is just the next logical step, right?)

You want to know the funniest part? Have a look at the couple involved:

Look at the… er…  um… what’s the correct term to use for a female dog that is the husband in a marriage? I speak better English than any American, but my command of the language isn’t sufficient to figure this one out.

Anyway, look at the dog’s face. That look says: “I got spayed and now I’m MARRIED to this lunatic?! O Great Dog, what did I do wrong?!?”

Hell, as far as I’m concerned, this is legitimate grounds for calling up the RSPCA to get that poor dog out of there post haste. No dog deserves such a horrible fate!

Stories like this convince me beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord created Eve in order that life would never be boring- though the sheer nuttiness of some women does make you wonder about the entire breed.