If ever you needed a good reason to hate bullshido, I’ve found at least two. Via Cage Potato:

Remember when we said nobody on Martial Arts Fail of the Week could possibly be worse than Ashida Kim? 

We might’ve been wrong. 

Enter Yellow Bamboo, a martial art based on “Balinese White Magic” which promises to create “the necessary power within you to achieve whatever positive outcome you desire.” 

In the case of the above video, the outcome most people desire is apparently being able to send legions of defrauded fools into spasms by posing and screaming as loud as you possibly can like you’re on Dragon Ball Z. 

What’s even better is that these Jedi Knight-like powers can be yours, FREE! All you have to do is send the school an email and they’ll send you the download link. Fortunately for the Potato Nation, someone linked their training on YouTube. It’s as laughable as you might expect. There’s crazy, rice-related initiation ceremonies, holy water, singing, full moons, fasting, energy beams, and other insanity. This might be the most cult-like martial art we’ve ever seen.

This is what Yellow Bamboo practitioners would like you to believe is real:

And this is how Yellow Bamboo actually stacks up in real life:

Oh, but wait, it gets worse:

If you can make it through that video without laughing out loud or screaming “BULLS***!!!” at your computer screen, then you’re made of sterner stuff than I am.

I swear this has to be the inspiration for Master Ken’s “Enter the Dojo” series, except that the series is a parody and this Ashida Ken Kim* idiot takes his own nonsense seriously.

Just as Churchianity is a blight upon the true Word, bullshido practitioners and arts like these are a blight upon real martial arts and real martial artists. These people have no sense of responsibility or accountability. They are con-men and deceivers, and deserve neither your money nor your patronage. They are downright dangerous because of the nonsense they peddle. The moment you put them into a rear naked choke, or kick them in the face, or manoeuvre them into an armbar, you’ll expose them for the bullshido artists they really are.

* Ken, Kim, whatever- when the bullshido is so ridiculous, it really doesn’t matter what the practitioner is called, other than “infinite degree of idiot”.