“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The 10 Ebonics Commandments

by | May 30, 2016 | Uncategorized | 1 comment

Classic. (I modified the First Commandment slightly. Just seemed appropriate.)

  1. I Be the LAWD yo’ God. Don’ be dissin’ Me.
  2. Don’ be makin’ hood ornaments outta Me or nothin’ in Mah crib.
  3. Don’ be callin’ Me fo’ no reason – Homey don’ play dat.
  4. Y’all betta be in church on Sundee.
  5. Don’ dis ya mama … an if ya know who ya daddy is, don’ dis him neither.
  6. Don’ ice a nizzle.
  7. Stick to ya own boo.
  8. Don’ be liftin’ no goods.
  9. Don’ be frontin’ like you all dat an’ no snitchin’ on ya homies.
  10. Don’ be eyein’ ya homie’s crib, ride, or nuffin’.

If you are black, and you read that, and you are deeply offended… ask yourself first and foremost why these exist in the first place. And be angry at that, instead of people like me.

If, on the other hand, you’re like pretty much everyone else who reads this pokey little blog of mine, you’re probably trying to stop your sides from splitting.

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1 Comment

  1. Morris

    In my case, cackling at that version of the Commandments is what I'm doing..

    Reply

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