My friends, the 241st birthday of this country will be upon us in a few days. Many of you, like me, will find that to be a very bittersweet day, for it marks the birth of the greatest, most advanced, and most enlightened civilisation that the world has ever seen- which its descendants have utterly destroyed through their own reckless stupidity.
That does not mean that we cannot celebrate this most auspicious occasion- and celebrate it the right way.
That, of course, means finding pictures of hot girls in Stars & Stripes bikinis posing seductively with the magnificence of Old Glory in the background.
That is the sort of thing that makes any red-blooded shitlord say: “God bless America!”
Happy Friday, boys. Have a restful, patriotic, and fun-filled Independence Day weekend.
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