Ah, Monday, the great enemy of happiness and frivolity (and sleep). We meet again, as we inevitably must. And, honestly, this weekend really was way too damned short. I spent most of it absolutely exhausted from accumulated stress and physical wear-and-tear – I’ve been hitting some new deadlift PRs, and believe me, that does take a toll. You DO NOT lift 210Kg off the ground without feeling it, at some point.

Nonetheless, the Great Mondaydact Browser Slayer is here to put a smile on everyone’s faces and give us all hope for the future. And we’ve got a packed feature for you today, that’s for sure. (Not only that, but it’s actually ON TIME for once! Well… y’know… mostly.)

Today’s theme comes to us via our good friend, The Male Brain, who suggested that we honour the one and only Bruce Willis. Take it away, my friend:

Willis was born Walter Bruce Willis on March 19, 1955, in Idar-Oberstein, West Germany, where his father was stationed in the U.S. military at the time. Willis is the oldest of David and Marlene Willis’s four children, a group that includes three sons and a daughter. In 1957, following his father’s discharge from the military, Willis moved with his family to Carney’s Point, New Jersey.

There, the seeds for the tough, blue-collar edge that’s come to define so many of Willis’ roles were planted as he watched his father feed the family through work as a welder and later a factory employee.After graduating from high school, Willis followed in his father’s footsteps and found work with his hands, first in a chemical factory and then as a security guard, before returning to the classroom as a drama student at Montclair State University in New Jersey. Willis’ interest in acting didn’t wane, but eager to strike out on his own, he quit school after his sophomore year and moved to New York City to try and make it as a working actor.

For Willis, whose acting heroes include Robert De Niro, Gary Cooper, Steve McQueen and John Wayne, work didn’t come easy. He waited tables, tended bar and, when he had the chance, auditioned for roles. His first real break of any kind came in 1977 when he debuted in the off-Broadway play Heaven and Earth. More stage work followed, but in 1980 Willis jumped over to film when he scored a bit role in the Frank Sinatra film The First Deadly Sin. Two years later, he landed another minor part in The Verdict, starring Paul Newman. There was some exposure on the television screen, too, with occasional appearances on episodes of Hart to Hart and Miami Vice.

In 1984, after replacing Ed Harris in the off-Broadway hit Fool for Love, Willis headed west to Hollywood to audition for the Madonna vehicle Desperately Seeking Susan. Willis didn’t get the part, but in a decision that would prove to be incredibly smart, he stuck around an extra day in order to audition for a new romantic comedy called Moonlighting, set to debut the following March.

As the story goes, Willis dressed in combat fatigues and, donning a punk haircut, read for the part of David Addison, a wisecracking private investigator. He wowed the TV executives with his gregariousness and charming attitude to beat out some 3,000 other actors.

Co-starring Cybill Shepherd, Moonlighting revolved around the crime-solving exploits of Maddie Hayes (Shepherd) and Addison of the Blue Moon Detective Agency. The show, which aired until May 1989, was a huge hit for ABC and an even bigger launching pad for Willis. “Women find him appealing, and guys have a fantasy that they could be like him,” ABC talent vice president Gary Pudney told People magazine. “That’s why he’s become such a valuable commodity to us so quickly.”

(Which is basically the definition of “Alpha”.)

In 1987 Willis returned to film when he was matched with Kim Basinger in the comedy Blind Date. That same year, Willis married fellow actor, Demi Moore.

(I’ll just add that at the time she was less hotter than she became later, and maybe less crazy. – TMB)

The same year as the release of Blind Date, Willis, an avid blues fan and harmonica player, stepped into the music studio for Motown Records to record Return to Bruno, a collection of bluesy soul songs that produced a modest sales return.

In the summer of 1988, Die Hard, an action-packed flick that cast Willis as muscle-pumping hero John McClane, hit movie screens across the country with a bang. Even before its release, the film had managed to catch some notice, in part because both Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger had turned down the McClane role. When movie executives settled on Willis, in part because he brought a level of warmth and humor to the character, they agreed to pay him $5 million, a huge sum for an actor many still considered a relative Hollywood novice.

A year after Die Hard, Willis was at the wheel of another hit, and back in a full-on comedic role as the voice of Mikey, the ever-observant baby, in Look Who’s Talking. His role as the English tabloid journalist in Bonfire of the Vanities (1990) drew mixed reviews, and in 1991 the action movie Hudson Hawk, a vanity project of sorts, which Willis wrote and starred in, proved to be a box office failure. Other, less memorable projects soon followed.

Willis showed no signs of slowing down, demonstrating a range that mixed muscular intimidation (Sin City, Red), sharp comedic timing (The Whole Ten Yards) and a softer touch (Moonrise Kingdom) that few actors can claim.

Willis has since appeared in the sci-fi flick Looper (2012) as an older version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character, and reprised some of his earlier roles in A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Red 2 (2013) and Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014). Along with maintaining a full slate of screen work, the veteran actor made his Broadway debut in 2015 in a stage adaptation of Stephen King’s Misery.

Subsequent films featured Willis back in tough-guy mode, among them Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017), Acts of Violence (2018), a remake of Death Wish (2018) and Reprisal (2018). That year, he was also the subject of a Comedy Central roast, with ex-wife Moore among the talent assembled to crack jokes at his expense (see in the vids).During a busy 2019, the veteran actor again revisited an older character with the Unbreakable sequel Glass, and contributed voice work to The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part.

In 1987, Willis married actress Demi Moore. The couple, who divorced in 2000, have three children together: Rumer Willis (b. 1988), Scout LaRue Willis (b. 1991) and Tallulah Belle Willis (b. 1994).

On March 21, 2009, Willis, who remains close to ex-wife Demi Moore (he attended her wedding to Ashton Kutcher in 2005) and shares custody of his three children with her, backtracked on his pledge never to marry again, when he tied the knot with model-actress Emma Heming at the Turks and Caicos Islands. They then married again a few days later in a civil ceremony at Willis’ California home. Willis and Heming have two daughters, Mabel Ray (b. 2012) and Evelyn Penn (b. 2014).

Also, he may be a “closet Trump fan”, as evident by 2015 appearance in The Tonight Show – TMB:

Let’s enjoy some videos of Bruce doing what he does best:

[Especially when Bruce gets up and absolutely roasts the hell out of everyone who did it to him – Didact]

This last one ties into the headline of the week perfectly:

Oh, all right, one more – this one from the geeks at Screen Junkies about the survivability of the Die Hard franchise:

And here are some great memes related to John McClane, along with Dawn Pine‘s captions:

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#BasedTucker is Based

Mar 14, 2022

Mar 15, 2022

There was apparently a bit missing from that video too:

Mar 16, 2022

Mar 17, 2022

Mar 18, 2022

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Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain is back with some brain-teasers and funny stuff to keep us all occupied on this most ‘orrible day. We start with a video by Scott Manley (great name, by the way) about the human body’s ability to handle artificial gravity INNNN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!:

New channel around here, Foil Arms and Hog (heck if I know what that means) explains government philosophy through pizza, which is a novel approach, to say the least:

Y’all remember back when the Oscars were actually worth watching? That was ever so long ago:

The Babylon Bee continues to bee (sic) way ahead of the curve:

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Poli-ticking Off

Mark Dice is an entertainer, to be sure, but he’s actually very good at tickling your funnybone in order to deliver a serious message:

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Bill Whittle and his friends explain the so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill for the liberaltards who are too lazy and stupid to do their own homework on the subject:

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China Uncensored notes that Taiwan is getting VERY nervous watching the Russian invasion of Ukraine – as they bloody well SHOULD be, because at least the Ukies can kind of sort of fight, whereas Taiwan’s military may well be just a paper tiger:

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America Uncovered asks a very germane question:

Short answer is, of course, YES – America was doing quite well with respect to domestic oil production during the reign of the blessed and mighty God-Emperor, but of course, he was cheated out of a second term by a rigged election.

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Jared Taylor from American Renaissance explains the reality of free shit provided to minorities:

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Righteous Rantery

Paul Ramsey offers up his answer to a question on all of our minds:

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PJW is endlessly amused by the virtue-signalling stupidity of Westerners with respect to Ukie refugees:

Let’s be clear about something: Ukrainian refugees are an order of magnitude better to take in than economic migrants from North Africa, the Middle East, and Afghanistan. But they need to be taken in TEMPORARILY and then sent back. The West is not their home. Ukrainians are not Westerners with idiotic Western liberal ideals. They are Slavs, and have a VERY Slavic attitude toward culture, religion, race, and history. Their ideals ARE NOT compatible with the uber-tolerant, pussified, and spineless West.

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The lovely and charming Dr. Sam Bailey hands over to her husband, Dr. Mark Bailey, to explain the current (quite poor) state of virology:

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Lord Razor of the Fist Clan can barely contain his mirth at the release of Juicy Smooyay’s attacker from prison – who is Juicy himself:

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Warriors of Faith

The Dizzle shows exactly why it is such a bad idea to annoy a psychopath by being stupid:

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His good buddy Ridvan, The Apostate Prophet, teams up with him to analyse how Dr. Bart Ehrman – author of Misquoting Jesus, and an atheist – totally dismantles Izzlamist ideology:

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Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms provides a tour d’horizon of the research into the historical analysis of Islam’s origins to a raptly attentive church audience:

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Al-Fadi from CIRA International and his friend Mel from Sneaker’s Corner wrap up an excellent series on the subject of Islam’s origins and future:

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Dr. Frank Turek from Cross Examined explains the background behind the epic clash that motivated the Book of Exodus:

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Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp explains the realities of warfare as only one who has lived them can:

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Joker from Better Bachelor explains a core fact about TEH INNARWEBZ:

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Burn Paedowood to the Ground

If you liked Red Sonja, Midnight’s Edge has some bad news for you:

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Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock is brimming with schadenfreude about the utter failure of the STAR WARS Galactic Starcruiser hotel:

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Gary from Nerdrotic notes that George Rape Rape Martin is quite salty about fan feedback over the almost-certainly-never-to-be-published follow-up to his ASOIAF series, The Winds of Winter:

Look, folks, it’s been TEN YEARS. He’s never going to finish the series. The best you’re ever going to get in terms of closure, is the Game of Thrones series finale, which everyone hated. Deal with it. GRRM will almost certainly die long before he ever finishes the series (Voxemort the Malevolent, are you listening?).

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The Drinker definitely is not impressed by the upcoming Ms Marvel series on Devil Mouse Plus – there isn’t enough booze in all of Scotland to make this series look good:

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Reading Too Much Into Things

Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week concerns making light out of water, which I thought was something only the Almighty could do:

The saltwater reacts with the magnesium in the WaterLight that causes a simple chemical reaction that generates electricity.  

Two cups of water give the WaterLight enough juice to be powered for around 45 days, based on the kind of usage its users put it through, according to Pipe Ruiz, an executive creative director for Wunderman Thompson Columbia, a creative agency that collaborated with E-Dina in the creation of WaterLight. 

In the process, the salt and water get separated. So when the WaterLight is no longer able to illuminate, the water that’s remaining in the light can be used for cooking.

The light is capable of running for around two to three years which can then be recycled. E-Dina has provided these lights to people in the Guajira Peninsula, a coastal desert at the northernmost tip of South America. The region suffers from poverty and regions don’t really have access to electricity. 

E-Dina feels that these lights could replace kerosene or oil-based lamps as they can be charged on something that’s abundantly available to them — seawater. Members of the Wayuu tribe from the aforementioned peninsula are testing these lights out on boats, enabling them to even fish at night. 

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Your long read of the week is an excellent piece by Olga Sukharevskaya with RT about the history of ultranationalism and neo-Nazism in Ukraine – you might need a VPN to access it – which makes for both edifying and deeply disturbing reading:

Bringing followers of Stepan Bandera’s ideology to the DPR and LPR led to numerous crimes against civilians, which international organizations could not ignore. In September 2015, a report was published by the Special Rapporteur on extra-judicial executions, stating that “there remain a small number of potentially violent militia groups, such as the Right Sector, that act seemingly on their own authority, thanks to a high level of official tolerance, and with complete impunity” in the Donbass and the rest of Ukraine.

Amnesty International also published a report on the crimes committed by the Aidar Volunteer Battalion, as well as report on how the Security Service of Ukraine (SBU) kept people in unacknowledged detention for long periods of time (sometimes up to fifteen months) without proper criminal process being followed and denying them access to lawyers and relatives. The latter document provides gruesome details about the torture of a resident of Mariupol, Artem, (whose real name was withheld) by the Azov Battalion (that grew out of the Patriot of Ukraine neo-Nazi organization). He was tortured with electric shocks, sleep deprivation and waterboarding.

The UN Office of the High Commissioner on Human Rights cites multiple cases of the members of the Azov Battalion and soldiers of the Ukrainian army looting and violating civilians. In a most outrageous act of violence, a man with a mental disability was subject to cruel treatment and rape at the hands of members of the Azov and Donbas Battalions. The victim’s health subsequently deteriorated, and he was placed in a psychiatric hospital.

In Mariupol, the Azov Battalion was reported to have had a secret detention facility where multiple people were tortured. Ukraine’s SBU was said to provide the cover for the operation, which means that this activity was supported by the official government of Ukraine. What more proof do we need, if former deputy commander of the Azov Battalion, Vadym Troyan, went on to be appointed Deputy Minister of Internal Affairs of Ukraine, and the Azov Battalion itself is now a unit of the National Guard of Ukraine that serves the Ministry of Internal Affairs? Troyan was in charge of police reforms that involved a complete change of staff. On his orders, the officers who worked with the previous government of Viktor Yanukovych were let go and replaced. Many of the new recruits were eager to show off their Nazi salutes in front of the Ministry’s entrance carrying the coat-of-arms of Ukraine.

The fact is the authorities in Kiev don’t even hide their affection for symbols of the Third Reich. For example, the insignia of the Azov Battalion include the Wolfsangel (Wolf Trap) symbol that was very popular with various German Wehrmacht and SS units. It was carried by the 2nd SS Panzer Division Das Reich, among others. Azov members have also been pictured wearing the Schwarze Sonne (Black Sun) another well-known neo-Nazi symbol. The same goes for the insignia of the Donbass Battalion, which features the Nazi Eagle in a nose-dive attack.

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Linkage is good for you – some of these links go to RT, which means that you’ll need a VPN connection to access them , so get one if you haven’t already:

• The recent turmoil in Russia has shown all of us just how thoroughly the Empire of Lies controls the world economy, though this is going to start changing in a very big hurry;
• Paul Craig Roberts pulls no punches in his assessment of the Russian leadership’s responses to the West – I don’t agree with him, since he thinks like an American and not a Russian, but I admit that he may have a point;
• The great defender of liberty, Dr. Ron Paul, asks a rhetorical question about the New Evil Empire’s willingness to fight the Russians right down to the last Ukrainian;
• Pat “Mr. Paleoconservative” Buchanan points out the blindingly obvious to anyone who isn’t a permanent Deep State neoclown – US interests dictate putting a stop to this war, immediately, and agreeing to Russia’s quite reasonable terms;
• The Z Man has a very thoughtful piece for us, using the great war between Athens and Sparta as a reference point, to show how the war in Ukraine is actually the last stand of the neoclowns;
• Ben Judah explains that the Western world completely misread the Neo-Tsar – they thought he was bluffing about maintaining Russian territorial sovereignty, and he absolutely bloody wasn’t;
• Marcia Christoff makes an interesting historically informed argument in favour of constitutional monarchy to rule over Russia, and I think she’s got a good point – VVP is, after all, basically a Tsar in all but name;
• Dr. Philip Giradli, a former CIA operative who quit his post and resigned from the Agency out of sheer disgust at its practices, notes that we are watching the rapid disintegration of the New Evil Empire before our very eyes;
• The Chief Driver of the Uber of the Skies notes that some of his Turducken Planes encountered Chinese J-20s over the South China Sea, and reckons that the Chinks know what they’re doing with them;
• The University of Florida took time away from trying to figure out how to stop its freshmen from drinking themselves into a coma for long enough to cancel Karl Marx, which I have to say is hilariously stupid even by Floriduh standards;
• The Ukies don’t seem to have full control over their remaining drone stocks – first one landed in Croatia, somehow, and now another one has landed in Romania;
• Now that Russia’s “aggression” has taken over all available thinking power, the CDC can finally quietly admit that the Kung Flu isn’t actually very dangerous at all, and that we completely lost our damn minds over basically nothing;
• The Prime MInister of the world’s largest open-air concentration camp recently unveiled the new symbol for a “Women’s Network” over there, and quite hilariously, it looks like a cock and balls;
• If SkyNet ever becomes a real thing and turns self-aware, understand that it will figure out how to kill us all with completely novel chemical weapons in about the same amount of time as you need to make your breakfast;
• Readers over a certain age may remember a woman named Kerry Katona, who is raking in the megabucks from her OnlySimps account by flaunting her figure decades after anyone with any sense would want to see it;
• The star of a Limey soap opera says that her husband really likes watching her pretend-bang other guys on-screen – take a look at the man in question in the picture with the article, and you’ll immediately understand why;
• Scarlett Johansson notes that her third – yes, seriously – husband is not someone that she would have dated in high school, which proves the old adage that “men age like wine and women age like milk”;
• Doff your caps, gentlemen, and stand to attention to pay your respects, for a true legend of the screen, Peter Bowles, has left us for the Great Studio Lot in the sky;

And some more from Dawn Pine:

• The goobernment over in PommieBastardLande clearly believes in Rahm Emmanuel‘s rather Machiavellian notion of never letting a good crisis go to waste, and they certainly haven’t;
• America’s neoclowns seem to think that they can bully China using the same sanctions that they imposed on Russia – and they won’t, not least because they’re not working on Russia either;
• I had to check to make sure this headline wasn’t from The Babylon Bee or The Onion, and it isn’t – apparently, a woman who is still alive, sued various intelligence agencies for her murder, and even showed up in court to make her case;
• Is it really worth the effort to climb Mt. Everest in order to hold a tea party? We report, you decide;
• A stewardess – I mean, flight attendant – whines about how hard it is to date on the job, but the fact that she has a serious case of TCS and probably isn’t marriage material herself, might have a lot to do with her issues;
• If you marry a lazy woman, she’ll turn into a lazy wife who won’t do one damned thing to sort out your home – which will end in a very unhappy marriage, or a divorce, or both;
• Proving, once again, that some models actually have boobs, legs, AND brains, a 6-foot Israeli model now uses AI techniques to read out the Torah;
• If you really want clean cheap endless energy, then you might want to consider the geothermal route – it has drawbacks, for sure, and it only works in certain parts of the world, but it’s worth thinking about, at least;
• Sonia Gandhi, the Italian woman who very nearly became the Prime Minister of India at one point before popular opinion shut that down in a hurry, wants Faceborg to stop interfering in Indian politics – yeah, good luck there;
• This has to be one of the best Floriduh Man stories in a long time – one of them got caught trying to steal a crossbow by shoving it down his pants and hoping nobody would notice;
• James Blunt‘s music is a deadly weapon, and the fascist government in Kiwiland has proven it beyond any doubt – precisely how Mr. Blunt ever managed to bang Petra Nemcova, repeatedly, is quite beyond me;

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MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOZHUN!!!

The Neo-Tsar gave a rousing speech in front of 70,000 people at Luzhniki Stadium (I’ve been there, it’s damned impressive) – and there were 100,000 more people outside:

The Western presstitutes would have you believe that many of the peopple there were forced to be there by their employers, particularly those who work for state-owned companies. That is almost certainly true. But those people made up a distinct minority of the nearly 200,000 people present at the rally to commemorate the Russian annexation of Crimea. The reality is that the Russian people support the Neo-Tsar by overwhelming majorities.

As I mentioned in my Telegram channel when I brought this up – can someone please tell me again why we aren’t allowed to hang Western presstitutes on sight? To me, it seems like a perfectly reasonable way to handle their lies and bullshit.

Here’s the English translation of the speech.

Furthermore, the Neo-Tsar very clearly understands that this war in Ukraine – which, honestly, is really more of a combined arms operation designed to break the Ukrainian military into non-functional pieces and destroy the neo-Nazis – is merely a major escalation in an ongoing war to destroy the New Evil Empire.

Those of us who love God, freedom, and nation, should put aside our own personal feelings of the man – who is VERY hard to like, I’ll be the first to admit that – and understand that he is fighting for his nation and his civilisation against a literally Satanic GloboHomoPaedocracy.

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Those Who Fail To Learn From History…

History lessons of the week:

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Your Great Man of the Week is the legendary musical genius, Mozart:

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HALO Nation

If you were looking forward to the new HALO TV series, Ryan Kinel has some very, very bad news for you:

And now let’s watch slayergod Mint Blitz go to LITERALLY INSANE lengths to demonstrate what has to be the most ridiculously over-the-top kill in the entire history of the HALO franchise:

And I thought I spent way too much time playing HALO in my life…

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That’s Not Gone Well…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

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Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:

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Comedy hour:

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Pictionary, Pulchritude, Pew-Pews

Headlines of the week indicate that the Ukrainians haven’t completely lost their grip on reality:

Your “Scientific Method” moment of the week:

Your “High Life” moment of the week:

Your “Pouring Gasoline on the Fire” moment of the week:

Your “Bad for Digestion” moment of the week:

Your “Fountain of Youth” moment of the week:

Your “Village Missing an Idiot” moment of the week:

Your “MAFF” moment of the week:

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Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

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The Lords of Steel

Gym beast props this week go to Danny Grigsby, a USMC sergeant and all-out badass:

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Wise Uncle Chael the American Gangster wonders WTF is going on with the UFC’s heavyweight division:

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Jesus loves knockouts:

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Here is an excellent career retrospective on the legendary, and absolutely terrifying, Buakawminator:

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Icecapades

Shufflin’ keeps things groovin’:

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The Lords of Steel

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Hot Totty

And finally here is your Instathot to get the week off to the right start. This is Angelika Andreeva (Анджелика Андреева), age 27, from Krasnoyarsk, Russia. As I have stated before with a couple of the other Instathots featured on these pages from Krasnoyarsk,”[an] accurate description of the city might well be, ‘a city of about a million people in the middle of absolutely f**k-all where the temperature in winter goes down to -30 Celsius, or lower, and the mosquitoes and bears will gladly embrace you in summer'”. And that’s pretty much spot-on, really.

As for what exactly Ms Andreeva does… your guess is as good as mine, but I will say this in her favour – she does not seem to have an OnlySimps page. These days, that is a BIG positive – though she is almost certainly “enhanced”.

OK, that’s it, quit goldbricking and rubbernecking and get back to work.

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