Mondays suck no matter where you are, especially if you’ve been struck down with consumption for the past week – which I was. There is some sort of nasty strep infection running around that causes you to feel like you’re coughing your lungs out through, not over, your tonsils, while simultaneously pouring concrete straight into your sinus passage and giving you a serious case of chills and body ache.
The worst part is, my mum caught this first, then I left for Singapore thinking that I’d escaped the Plague, then my dad caught it while I was away, and then I realised on Tuesday that I was definitely coming down with something.
And then I had to fly back to the old country. The takeoff wasn’t too bad, but the landing was chuffing agony – it felt like someone was trying to drill into my right ear verrrrrry slowly with an ice pick.
But, I am coping, more or less, though I am drugged up to the gills with antibiotics, painkillers, and decongestants of various kinds. “Keep calm and carry on”, etc.
Sickness aside, Mondays are still pure suckage. Especially because this past week saw the death of a really great actor, one of those rare men who wasn’t a royal asshole and whose talent really was all that it was hyped up to be. It is with great sadness that we note the passing of Bruno Ganz – the man who played Adolf Hitler so brilliantly in Downfall (Der Untergang):
You know how we shitlords of the Maul-Right used to share those Downfall parodies and say that “one day, these will stop being funny… this is not that day”?
Well, I’m really sorry to say that… today is that day.
Rest In Peace, Herr Ganz. You were a true legend of the screen.
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On a related note, here are some of the funnier “Hitler Rant” parodies:
And, of course, the “Hitler Sad Puppies Rant” that blew up teh innarwebz a few years ago:
And here is the original, spectacular, rant in full HD glory:
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Several readers have noted that there is a new movie out about the death of Stalin is a Monty Python-esque take on the legendary monster’s passing, and it is every bit as full of mordant black humour as you might expect from the trailer:
Now, I’m reliably informed by one of those readers that this film is based on material that was unearthed from previously sealed Soviet-era archives, preserved from the time of Stalin’s death. And apparently what happened back then was so balls-out insane that the movie actually had to tone that shit down slightly, just to make it actually believable.
And even then, it still came across as one of the most deliriously over-the-top Python-esque sketches ever filmed. Despite the fact that almost all of it is real.
That being said – knowing what I do of what happened after the first true Emperor of China, Chin Shi Huangdi, died, and the extraordinary lengths that his lieutenants went to in order to disguise the fact, I can well believe that things after Stalin’s death went straight to pot in a fashion that only the Russkies themselves can possibly understand or appreciate.
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We saw the Jussie Smolett hoax completely fall apart last week, to the absolute delight and uproarious laughter of us shitlords, who never believed the whole thing for even a moment:
What I wonder is, how the hell did ANYONE actually believe this nonsense?
Oh, yeah, I forgot – liberals are both stupid and evil.
(Best comment on the video by Brother Razor: “The first time that an American scammed two Nigerians”. Yeah, I laughed. And yeah, I’m slightly evil.)
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Some Japanese dude with FAR more money than brains – and, evidently, no game whatsoever – decided to pay something like $2.61 million to take the virginity of an Azerbaijani model:
A young model who put her virginity up for sale online claims to have secured a winning bid of €2.4M (£2M).
Mahbuba Mammadzada, 23, from Azerbaijan, hit headlines last year for announcing her controversial money-making scheme, and claimed this week the auction had finally come to a close.
According to online agency Cinderella Escorts, the winning bidder is an unnamed ‘politician from Tokyo’, with a London lawyer and a Munich football player coming in at second and third place respectively.
The winning bidder will be able to have a doctor check Miss Mammadzada to make sure she is still a virgin before sleeping with her at a hotel in Germany.
It is understood that Cinderella Escorts will take up to 20 percent of the money as their part of the deal.
Note, the escort agency that arranged this transaction gets 20% of the fee as a commission. Pretty darned sweet deal if you can swing it.
This, incidentally, is what the virgin in question looks like:
Tastes vary, of course, depending on the individual man, but…
I’d say the dude SERIOUSLY overpaid.
You could buy a pretty decent pre-furnished one-bedroom apartment in the centre of Moscow for that much money, and still have more than enough money left over to date VASTLY more attractive Russian girls for the cost of two cups of coffee at Шоколадница or Кофе Хаус, plus maybe dinner for two at any halfway decent cafe.
A good date in Moscow will run you about $20 for two people for three hours. Russian girls rarely have sex with you before the third date – sensible of them, in my personal opinion – and a walk in the nearest decent park is completely free, so you could keep your “cost per lay”, to use a PUA term, to under $50 if you put in a halfway decent amount of effort.
Now, as a Christian, I have to point out that the Scriptures are VERY clear on the whole “keep it in your pants, buster” aspect of sex before marriage. So that is not an option for you if you are serious about obeying the Law.
But for you secular types out there, it’s not that hard to attract gentle, feminine, caring women who will go on dates with you, come back to your rented flat with you, and then cook you a very tasty breakfast the next morning.
Just take a word of advice from someone who has dated Slavic women, and bears the scars to prove it: far too many Eastern European women come with massive baggage and extremely difficult personalities.
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Talk about your real-life bunny-boilers – this crazy-ass chick makes Glen Close’s character look perfectly sane by comparison. In this case, the “bunny” in question is actually an extremely abused man, and the “boiler” is his batcrap-crazy girlfriend and mother of his two children.
The entire article is absolutely appalling, but I’m going to display a few excerpts here to give you an idea of just how bugshit INSANE this woman was, and is:
Officers from Bedfordshire Police found Alex Skeel, from Stewartby, cowering on the stairs after receiving a call from concerned neighbours who had heard him screaming following his latest attack at the hands of Jordan Worth.
Worth regularly attacked him with ‘weapons’ including a hammer, a screwdriver, bread knives and a broken hairbrush in a nine-month campaign of domestic abuse that left him ‘ten days away from death’ according to medics.
Now 22, Alex – a football coach – has revealed the extent of his horrific injuries for the first time in a BBC documentary that charts how he was violently assaulted, stabbed, starved and burnt by the mother of his two children, who was jailed in April 2018.
[…]
Shocking images in the documentary show Alex’s bruised and bloodied legs, scarred wrists and skin hanging off his arm where he was scalded with water from a kettle.
[…]
Despite friends describing Jordan as ‘delightful’ and her boyfriend as ‘quite smitten’, Alex’s mother Ged says it wasn’t long before her behaviour took a dark turn.
‘The longer they were together, and as the relationship grew, the mind games started playing,’ Ged recalls.
‘[Jordan would] say, I don’t really like the colour grey, I don’t think you should wear the colour grey,’ Alex recalls.
[…]
Things went from bad to worse when Jordan forced her boyfriend to change his phone number and threw away his PlayStation console to cut him off further from his loved ones.
She even set up a Facebook account in Alex’s name where she would send abusive messages to his friends in a bid to isolate him further.
Years later, when police questioned Jordan, she would blame it on Alex, saying: ‘He made it very clear he never wanted to see his family.
[…]
In time, Jordan became so controlling she took Alex’s wallet away, forcing him to quit the job he loved and instead accompany her to classes at the University of Hertfordshire where she could keep a watchful eye on him.
Alex claims things deteriorated to the point where his girlfriend would attack or assault him ‘every day’, and on one occasion she made him swallow an entire packet of sleeping pills.
During one attack, Jordan severed the tendons in his right hand with a bread knife, on another occasion she attacked him with a broken hairbrush, breaking his tooth in the process.
‘I had no money, I didn’t drive, so in the end I just ripped the tooth out,’ Alex says, recalling how being struck with screwdrivers, hammers and knives became part of everyday life.
‘I’d be asleep and she’d smack me in the head and I’d look in the mirror and I’d just be bleeding,’ he says. ‘I wasn’t eating properly, she didn’t let me. She made him sleep on the floor instead of the bed.
[…]
A kettle full of boiling water became Jordan’s weapon of choice, leaving her boyfriend screaming in pain as the skin hung off his arms and back.
‘She would wait up all night with a kettle of boiling water and if it went cold she would just wait and reboil it,’ he recalls.
WHAT…
THE……
ACTUAL………
Honestly, I’m picturing that Jordan girl with eyes the size of dinner plates – pointing in different directions while her head rotates in a full circle as she projectile-vomits while levitating three feet over a bed.
That sort of evil – and it is true evil – is definitely daemonic in nature. The woman doesn’t (just) need jail time, she needs a full-fledged exorcism.
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Speaking of daemons in human form:
… Okay, I know this is blasphemous and all, but I’m thinking that, in the case of those two women above, even the Big Man Upstairs might have a tough time getting rid of those daemons.
I mean, yeah, even daemons know the name of the Lord, and they shudder (James 2:19), but those two have no limit on their capacity for evil.
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While we’re on the rather dark subject of exorcisms:
Fr. Cliff Ermatinger is the pastor at a large parish in Milwaukee. He was quite calm and matter of fact.
[…]
During an exorcism, which is performed on a human whose physical body is controlled by a demon, the exorcist commands the demon to tell how they gained access to the person. It turns out there are a terrifying number of ways that demons enter. Contrary to what we learn from Hollywood, you don’t have to personally invite them. Each and every time you commit sin you open yourself up to demons, you enter into a contract with them. They don’t always take up residence but you may notice that after one sin, subsequent sins become easier. Slippery slope. Easy fix: go to confession OFTEN and don’t sin.
Fr. Cliff explained that what you see in a movie exorcism is nothing like what really happens. First, it isn’t over in 90 minutes. Exorcisms often take months or years to accomplish. What you see in a movie, with all of the terrifying deformities, super human strength, apparitions and voices, is quite accurate but all of the activity one would see in a movie actually often takes place over many, many exorcism sessions.
As I mentioned, he is a pastor in Milwaukee and his parish has a school. Those responsibilities could each easily be two full time jobs and exorcisms are actually his part-time work. He said he only does them at night because with a school full of children on the campus of his parish, the shrieking and screaming associated with this job is bad for business.
He also said that possessed people puke during exorcisms. They puke a lot. He keeps several buckets at the ready during the exorcism process. He can tell how an exorcism is progressing based on the changes in the vomit. For example, the man who ingested the cursed coke, although it was consumed years earlier, once Fr. was told the method of entry and commanded that the coke (and the demon) leave the body, the man began to vomit coke.
[…]
Father Cliff told another story of a teenage boy who, having purchased a Ouija board, brought it to the home of a friend where a group gathered to play with it. The teens invited any spirits present to touch them. All of them were immediately beaten up by unseen assailants. Covered in bruises, the owner ran home, leaving the board behind in his friend’s basement. Once home, crying and praying, he discovered his Ouija board had made its own way home, too.
He told another story of a young man in a cohabitating relationship began to exhibit demonic manifestation. The girlfriend kicked him out, thinking that the behavior was his. Having been raised a Catholic, instinctively consulted a priest, ending up with Fr. Cliff. During the months that followed, the young man went to confession, returned to an active faith and remained in the state of grace, going to daily Mass and Holy Communion. The demon was eventually exorcised and the man returned to his normal self. Once himself again, the girlfriend welcomed him back. Fr. Cliff told the young man that he was better off possessed by a demon with his soul in the state of grace than he was as a demon free man living in his current situation. Should he die as the former, his salvation was not in jeopardy, as it was in mortal danger in the latter circumstance.
Father said that he always asks the demons’ names and has encountered the same demon in different people. He also said that some methods of entrance are more common than others, one of those being pornography. It seems that many pornographic producers are also active Satanists. They put curses on their images. Humans voluntarily ingest (via sight) these images and the demon gets in. He told us that in one exorcism he commanded the demon to tell him the method of entry and his reply was “through my greatest invention ever, internet pornography.” I certainly didn’t have to be told that Satan invented pornography but the way Fr. related the story sent chills down my spine.
During a question and answer period someone asked if he was ever in frightened or in danger during an exorcism and he immediately answered “No, not at all.” I believe his courage comes from his complete trust in God and the Catholic faith.
Lesson the first, last, and most important:
DO NOT SCREW AROUND WITH THE OCCULT.
You will pay a price, no matter whether or not you believe in such things.
I don’t care if you are secular or religious. I don’t care if you are Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, whatever. Understand this, and understand it well:
Humans are at the very apex of the physical and material realm. WE are the top dogs, the apex predators, the strongest and best, with the ability to shape the material world to our liking as and when we see fit. (More or less, anyway, until Mother Nature decides to spank us hard for gettin’ uppity.)
However, we are at the absolute bottom of the spiritual realm. Our souls are literal food for the entities of that realm. Don’t, whatever you do, try to invoke them, get to know them, call on them, or do anything so catastrophically stupid as to invite them into your life. It will not end well.
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Lawrence Kenshin’s channel has to be THE go-to resource for striking breakdowns, but there is also a whole bunch of good stuff related to the best ways to train and become good at fighting:
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Monty Python set the bar for great British comedy back in the day, and it has to be said that the bar still hasn’t really been cleared since then:
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Soyboy thinks that old-school manly skills are overrated. Old-school manly man tells him to pull his head out of his ass:
The main point that Popp makes, which every soyboy really needs to understand, is that those “obsolete manly skills” actually result in a man learning a lot of other really useful shit. And what does learning a lot of really useful shit do for a man? It makes him strong, confident, and capable.
What is confidence? That’s really simple. It’s an attitude, a state of mind. It means knowing exactly what is going on at all times, because you have the experience and the skill to understand events around you. This allows you to stay totally calm in the middle of a raging storm, because you’ve been through it before and you know what to do when the entire world is losing its collective damn mind.
And when you know what to do, when you know how to handle yourself, you become better at everything – not just in that one particular area in life.
This, sadly for them, is something that soyboys will never understand. Drinking soy while reading Victorian sonnets to your bull-dyke “lady love” and, y’know, weeping, is not a “skill” and does not build confidence.
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I’ve been watching this Ukrainian lady’s videos for a while, and I have to say, she’s rather good at making points that other women these days can and should hear more of:
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If you are as utterly and hopelessly confused about the way that the Alien/Predator/Blade Runner sci-fi universes all stack together, here is a nice long timeline video that explains it all really rather well:
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Dog of the week – the Great Pyrenees:
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Pics from Power Line and other places:
Sorry, chaps, too late, J. J. Abrams has already screwed over the Star Trek franchise by turning it into much the same kind of SJW-converged shitfest that STAR WARS has now become.
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Gym idiots time – yes, I know, you don’t want to see this shit, but some of it is worth seeing just for the comedy value:
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Beasts do beastly things when deadlifting:
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What is the one thing that can truly defeat legendary muay thai beast and multiple world champion Saenchai?
The duckface Instathot model!!!
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And speaking of muay thai legends:
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#MetalWinds
Can I just say – I’ve lived in New Jersey, for quite a while. It ain’t quite what the boys from OVERKILL claim it to be. There is a reason why it’s nicknamed “the armpit of America”.
That said – there are, I will admit, a number of very, very nice suburbs and posh parts of NJ. They also happen to be very expensive to live in. And the state’s insane rules, regulations, and taxes make it harder to live there every year.
Still miles better than living in Manhattan, though, no matter which way you look at it.
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Instathot of the week is a tae kwon do girl who goes by the name of Sara Damjanovic. She is very flexible, likes to kick dummies in the face, and takes every possible opportunity to show off her extremely lithe body – whether it is appropriate to do so, or not.
Still and all, she is quite easy on the eyes.
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