If this is what they’re finding in the Amazon rainforest these days, then the illegal loggers who are wiping out that forest bloody well need to HURRY THE F*** UP:
What, in the name of all that is holy, is that idiot doing with his HAND next to that monster?!? Most sane and sensible people- a phylum of which this particular berk is plainly not a member- would have run screaming for the nearest can of weapons-grade insecticide.
One is left to wonder what other Lovecraftian horrors remain to be spewed from the bowels of the world’s rainforests and jungles. Think about it. Sub-Saharan Africa gave us Ebola; India gave us the Indian cobra; and now the Amazon, which appears to be second only to Australia in terms of pants-crappingly huge and lethal fauna, has given us that… thing.
I tend to be pretty anti-ecomentalist even at the best of times. Stories like this make me think that the absolute best thing we could do for our future as a species would be to turn every rainforest into a biohazard zone.
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Those are the moments that you realize God is probably not as genteel and nice as Morgan Freeman.
"Bruce?"
"Yes?"
"Look atcha feet, Bruce."
"Why, whazaaaOOOOMYGOD."
"Gotcha, Bruce. Bruce?"