There are no words…

I can’t quite tell what is the best (worst?) moment in that entire bunch:

• The dude wearing a PINK lifting belt (?!?!?) doing half-squats, dropping the bar, and then destroying a cheap squat rack in the process;
• The oblivious and useless spotter who lets his buddy get pinned under what looked like 315lbs, then watches as the weight slides off one end- I was really hoping the bar would whip back up and clock him in the face for being a jackass;
• The gratuitous and epic, er, camel toad courtesy of a hot girl with tight pants that evidently constricted blood flow to her brain;

Thing is, though, that mixed in with the stupidity and the noob nonsense, there are several genuine lifters who are put on the receiving end of extraordinarily dangerous situations- a couple of near-fatalities are mixed in there with the madness.

I sincerely hope that they weren’t hurt too badly and recovered quickly if they were.

Let me be very clear about this: I NEVER make fun of real lifters. I have enormous respect for those who lift real weight and do it well. I will never mock those who genuinely seek to improve themselves and put themselves out there in competitions to prove that they are the best.

As for the actual spazballs in there, though- for heaven’s sake, learn some proper goddamn form!

Now that we’re done mocking the gym idiots, let’s take a look at how the other half lifts lives:

Gentlemen, if you’re going to the gym, leave your woman at home. Or at least banish her upstairs to use the Stairmaster so that you aren’t smooching on her between sets.

Ladies, if you are going to insist on using the squat rack and the deadlift platform and so on, please at least do us the courtesy of using proper form. And NO PUSSY PADS.

Oh, and how could I make one of these posts without taking a dump on CrossFit: