“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Phishing for Nigerians

I got an email in one of my personal accounts which was just too funny not to share. Please note that I have not changed one single word of the email, it’s quoted exactly as I got it: Greetings, My name is Major James K. Hoffman. I am an American soldier,...

300mph wall smash

In my post the other day about once-hot babe Tia Carrere, I wasaccused of being rather uncharitable toward the aforementioned lady by commenter “Himself”: I don’t know about 200 mph. She doesn’t appear to be anywhere near as bad as the examples...

996 nonsense

Alibaba CEO Jack Ma made headlines around the world recently when he talked about the “996 ethic” that he says is required in order to do well within his company: To survive at Alibaba Group Holding Ltd. you need to work 12 hours a day, six days a week....

200mph Wall Impact Victim

Does anybody remember an actress and model named Tia Carrere? You may remember her from films like Wayne’s World and the laughably silly action flick Showdown in Little Tokyo, which starred the tragically deceased Brandon Lee and the ridiculously...

The British CU(C)K Party

Y’know, boys, sometimes, on a slow news day, God just hands you a great headline for free: The Independent Group (TIG) of breakaway, anti-Brexit MPs from the Labour Party and the Tory left have officially registered as a new politcal party, under the moniker...

Domain Query: Planet Princess Tootsie Rolls

Following my (rather harrowing and mostly unpleasant) experience with CrossShit, commenter Andy asks: Would like to see your perspective on Planet Fitness next. Be sure to go on Free Pizza Day. 🙂 Well, to my considerable relief and delight, I am not in a country...

The Didact hereby endorses the Green New Deal

Friends, brothers, shitlords, I come before you today to address a grave and terrible problem. That problem is: unregulated and unrestricted cow farts. As we know, 99.9% of all scientists believe that humans are behind the sudden, uncontrollable, and unprecedented...

The complete vindication of the God-Emperor

Being in Arabland as I am right now – long story, with pictures to follow later – I am rather behind on the news and my posting in general, but I did want to comment on the fact that Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation has now closed, and...

Good manners are sexist now

A hysterical woman who works for a hysterical organisation called the Daily Mail – only the second most sold daily newspaper in the United Kingdom of PommieBastardLand, whodathunkit – who goes by the name of Erica Tempesta (great name, that), has...