“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Game of groans

The last and final (please God!) season of everyone’s favourite excuse to talk about porn at work, airing weekly on HBO throughout early summer almost every year for the past 9, is so bad, even its own cast cannot muster anything good to say about it: I have...

Make the rubble bounce

Those of you who follow our beloved and dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) know full well about his extensive writings on the subject of SJW infiltration into various institutions. One of those institutions that appears to have been quite thoroughly infiltrated is...

“Punch it, Chewie!”

Well, that sucks…: Seeing as it is May the 4th, therefore STAR WARS Day, it seems fitting to remember one of the best cast-members of the original trilogy – y’know, back when it got converged into a flaming pile of SJW-infested shit. The...

Phishing for Nigerians

I got an email in one of my personal accounts which was just too funny not to share. Please note that I have not changed one single word of the email, it’s quoted exactly as I got it: Greetings, My name is Major James K. Hoffman. I am an American soldier,...

300mph wall smash

In my post the other day about once-hot babe Tia Carrere, I wasaccused of being rather uncharitable toward the aforementioned lady by commenter “Himself”: I don’t know about 200 mph. She doesn’t appear to be anywhere near as bad as the examples...

996 nonsense

Alibaba CEO Jack Ma made headlines around the world recently when he talked about the “996 ethic” that he says is required in order to do well within his company: To survive at Alibaba Group Holding Ltd. you need to work 12 hours a day, six days a week....

200mph Wall Impact Victim

Does anybody remember an actress and model named Tia Carrere? You may remember her from films like Wayne’s World and the laughably silly action flick Showdown in Little Tokyo, which starred the tragically deceased Brandon Lee and the ridiculously...

The British CU(C)K Party

Y’know, boys, sometimes, on a slow news day, God just hands you a great headline for free: The Independent Group (TIG) of breakaway, anti-Brexit MPs from the Labour Party and the Tory left have officially registered as a new politcal party, under the moniker...

Domain Query: Planet Princess Tootsie Rolls

Following my (rather harrowing and mostly unpleasant) experience with CrossShit, commenter Andy asks: Would like to see your perspective on Planet Fitness next. Be sure to go on Free Pizza Day. 🙂 Well, to my considerable relief and delight, I am not in a country...