“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Friday T&A: Carly Cue Edition

Happy Good Friday to you all, my brothers. Today we remember the day that Our Lord fell upon the Cross, and it is a day for reverence and contemplation, to be sure. It is also a day to remember all that is good in this world. It is vitally important to remember that...

200mph Wall Impact Victim

Does anybody remember an actress and model named Tia Carrere? You may remember her from films like Wayne’s World and the laughably silly action flick Showdown in Little Tokyo, which starred the tragically deceased Brandon Lee and the ridiculously...

Le Seigneur est avec nous

I have not yet said anything about the terrible Notre Dame fire, mostly because I am not interested in virtue-signalling about how much I care so very deeply about a monument that I last visited when I was, I think, about 4 years old. (Or so my parents tell...

The British CU(C)K Party

Y’know, boys, sometimes, on a slow news day, God just hands you a great headline for free: The Independent Group (TIG) of breakaway, anti-Brexit MPs from the Labour Party and the Tory left have officially registered as a new politcal party, under the moniker...

Monday morning tax-day teabagging

Monday is a truly miserable day no matter where in the world you are – well, unless you’re in an Arab country, because their Monday is our Tuesday. (It’s a weird culture.) But this Monday, in particular, absolutely blows – worse than...

Friday T&A: Rule, Britannia Edition

Well, it’s Friday again, and by rights this should have been the day that Britain finally got the hell out of the hideous tranzi construct that we call the “European Union”. In reality, of course, this abomination, this travesty against the...

Domain Query: Planet Princess Tootsie Rolls

Following my (rather harrowing and mostly unpleasant) experience with CrossShit, commenter Andy asks: Would like to see your perspective on Planet Fitness next. Be sure to go on Free Pizza Day. 🙂 Well, to my considerable relief and delight, I am not in a country...

Brexit and the breaking

As Theresa Maybot’s utterly useless administration lurches from disaster to catastrophe with monotonous regularity with regards to getting Britain the hell OUT of the European Union, it is worth taking a look at some old-fashioned British humour to explain...