“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The tower of voices

Seventeen years. It has been 17 years since the day that those Islamist rat-bastards flew those jetliners into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. Seventeen years since the day that over 3,000 Americans died – blasted, incinerated, crushed, smashed, ripped...

The Russkies have AT-STs now

Judging by what the Kalashnikov Concern has come up with, it looks like we might just start seeing freakin’ STAR WARS walkers on the battlefield in the near future: Kalashnikov Concern, Russia’s most famous weapons manufacturer, is showing off its...

The Left’s thermal exhaust port

Remember the penultimate scene of the very first STAR WARS movie? The iconic, pivotal, brilliant Death Star Trench Run? Remember how Luke Skywalker piloted his X-wing through a turbolaser-infested trench, into a veritable hurricane of enemy fire, while being...

“Tweedledim the Token Stormtrooper”

John C. Wright, perhaps the greatest sci-fi/fantasy writer alive today, decided to put himself through the sheer torture of watching STAR WARS VIII: The Last Jedi recently. Judging by his reactions, the experience was even more unpleasant than he expected. His...

Patton’s speech

If you have never seen the brilliant 1970 film Patton, starring George C. Scott – log off your computer, go to your nearest library (or, more conveniently, find your nearest good streaming service), and spend the next two hours watching it. Now that you have...

I’ll take the hand grenade

Especially after having to witness Mat Best in drag: I do quite like the idea of handling ISIS terrorists using a Barrett M-82 50-cal, though. I cannot imagine a better way to send a goathumper to Jannah, short of maybe a 120mm anti-personnel canister cartridge fired...

Gamma smackdown

This is what happens when a whiny little bitch who works for the Clown News Network tries to play hardball with adults in the Administratum of the God-Emperor: It is obvious within about ten seconds that professional whinger Jim Acosta is simply too short for the...

Making Sandford Great Again

Does anyone remember an absolutely brilliant British film from 2007 called Hot Fuzz? It was, and remains, one of the best buddy-cop movies ever made, and it is a perfect example of Simon Pegg doing what he does best – making people laugh so hard that their sides...

And now for a physics lesson

In cartoon physics, that is: Class, just remember the Three Laws of Cartoon Physics for the exam: The probability of any contraption issued by the ACME Corporation actually doing its job starts at 1%, and is thereafter inversely proportional to the sheer...

Monday Grouchies

A reader told me to go check out the Powerline blog’s Week In Pictures archives for various funny things. His advice was, of course, excellent – it turns out that those archives are packed full of very funny cartoons and demotivators that perfectly capture...