“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning crocodile feeding

Boys, there ain’t no way to get around it – Mondays SUUUUUUUCK. Which, of course, means that it’s time for another installment of the Great Mondaydact Browser Buster, to make it all better. This week’s installment is a few hours late because...

Monday morning Minnesota meltdown

Mondays suck, but this one sucks really badly. The world has watched in shock and astonishment as cities across the USA – though they are, quite conspicuously, the most blue cities in America – burn in the wake of George Floyd’s death....

Monday morning with the Fallen Soldier

Most Mondays are times for lighthearted jokes about what a terrible day it is and how we all need a bit of cheering up in the form of funny videos and memes mocking Leftist stupidity and evil. Not today. Today is Memorial Day, and for many – far too...

Monday morning with Mr. Smith

Monday. FFS, not this shit again. Fortunately, this Monday we can draw inspiration from a true gentleman, hero, and legend of the film industry – back when that meant something. At Dawn Pine’s suggestion, the headline for this week’s Great Mondaydact...

Monday morning Karen keepaway

Bloody hell, another Monday – one where I have some gnarly allergies, to boot. And here I’ve gone over 30 years without having severe allergic reactions to anything – other than Leftist stupidity, that is. But, time marches on, and so too does...

Monday morning Force-chokes

It’s Monday again – the weekly piss-bucket dump on our heads that just sets the tone for everything else, really. That, of course, is why I’m here with a mop and paper towels, to help you get over it. It’s Monday, May the 4th, which means that...

Monday morning CNNLOLs

Monday. BLAAARRGH. As always, though, your friend the Didact is here to make it much better with the Great Mondaydact Browser Crash. And we start by beating up on everyone’s favourite punching bag – CNNLOL. You know how I stated pretty bluntly a few days...

Monday morning with Brian Dennehy

Ugh. Monday again. That being said, there are some heartening signs that people are getting absolutely fed to the back teeth with the restrictions that they have been placed under, for NO GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER. Americans are spontaneously organising to protest...

Monday morning with the Omega Man

It is Easter Monday, which means that some of you are on holiday – and most of you, this year, are on holiday whether you like it or not. That is of course due to the unfortunate effects of the Kung Flu. And as you’ll find out tomorrow if you read the...

Monday Morning Battle Royale

Ah, Monday, my old enemy, we meet again. Actually, you know why that cat is really depressed? Because he just did an internet search and realised that, in China, he would be breakfast on a Monday. Nonetheless, both you and the cat can feel better now, because yer...