“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning Memorial mashup

It’s Monday again, and this Monday is a particularly special one, given that it is, of course, Memorial Day. There are several uniquely American holidays. Each one reveals a different facet of the American character. President’s Day shows...

Monday morning freedomboner

OFMIM. Could be worse, I suppose – I might not be around to help the horrors of this day go away with my epic-linkage-and-babes posts every week, after all. So let’s get started with the very necessary process of getting through this crap-sundae of a day...

Monday morning lingerie football

Monday is a BITCH. But, thanks to our good friend Dire Badger, we have some real bitches tackling each other on the field to make the day all better: I know basically nothing about gridiron, but I’m given to understand that most of those tackles are...

Monday morning Mortal Kombat

Welp… it’s Monday… Easy there, boys, it’s OK, the usual weekly post from your old buddy the Didact is here to make it all better. We start off with some epic gruesomeness, in the form of all of the fatalities from Mortal Kombat 11: I know that...

Monday morning MMA meltdown

Well, it’s Monday, and that of course is pure suckage. And I am in a particularly beastly mood today – as in, I am in a mood to go hit things and lift heavy shit. Being in that frame of mind has led me to assemble a whole bunch of interesting videos...

Monday morning Grand Tour goodbye

It’s Monday, the day after Easter Sunday, right after some assholes decided to blow themselves up in churches and hotels across Sri Lanka and killed over 200 Christian brothers and sisters in the process. I’ll give you one guess as to which exact...

Monday morning tax-day teabagging

Monday is a truly miserable day no matter where in the world you are – well, unless you’re in an Arab country, because their Monday is our Tuesday. (It’s a weird culture.) But this Monday, in particular, absolutely blows – worse than...

Monday morning vegan violation

It’s Monday, yet again, and I have to say that today I feel like hammered shit. This is partly why this post is a bit late – I needed the rest, very badly. Fortunately it is not for the reasons from about a month ago, when I had a really nasty case of...

Monday morning Chubb-Chubb chowdown

By Beelzebub’s butthole, Mondays seriously stink. Fortunately, yer very ‘eavy, very ‘umble servant is ‘ere to make it all better via the usual motley collection of vids, links, pics, fails, and a hot thot. It’s a public service that I do...

Monday morning gangrenous Gammatude

It’s Monday, again, rather inevitably but still very unfortunately. And as always, to help us, er, “celebrate” this most miserable of weekly headaches, we have the full motley collection of humour, gaffes, serious thoughts, and a serious thot to...