“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning tax-day teabagging

Monday is a truly miserable day no matter where in the world you are – well, unless you’re in an Arab country, because their Monday is our Tuesday. (It’s a weird culture.) But this Monday, in particular, absolutely blows – worse than...

Monday morning vegan violation

It’s Monday, yet again, and I have to say that today I feel like hammered shit. This is partly why this post is a bit late – I needed the rest, very badly. Fortunately it is not for the reasons from about a month ago, when I had a really nasty case of...

Monday morning Chubb-Chubb chowdown

By Beelzebub’s butthole, Mondays seriously stink. Fortunately, yer very ‘eavy, very ‘umble servant is ‘ere to make it all better via the usual motley collection of vids, links, pics, fails, and a hot thot. It’s a public service that I do...

Monday morning gangrenous Gammatude

It’s Monday, again, rather inevitably but still very unfortunately. And as always, to help us, er, “celebrate” this most miserable of weekly headaches, we have the full motley collection of humour, gaffes, serious thoughts, and a serious thot to...

Monday morning hangover hitch

Monday usually feels a lot like this: And there are good reasons for that. Yesterday was St. Paddy’s Day, which is basically an excuse for girls to put on green shit and get drunk: This Monday, in particular, feels even worse than most, because of what happened...

Monday morning stomach bug

Oh what a miserable Monday… And for me it’s more miserable than most, because I spent all of yesterday in the throes of a very nasty stomach infection of some kind, which carries on through to today. It’s going to be a few days before I’m in...

Monday morning martyr-bride madhouse

Mondays are a real bear, dude. And I say that as someone who is called a bear by my own parents and sister. Fortunately, I have your usual hair-of-the-dog to help you get through this miserable day, in the form of links, videos, funny pics, a dog, some great...

Monday morning Downfall dolour

Mondays suck no matter where you are, especially if you’ve been struck down with consumption for the past week – which I was. There is some sort of nasty strep infection running around that causes you to feel like you’re coughing your lungs out...

Monday morning racist red men

It is a Law of Nature that Mondays just plain suck. We all know it, and we all have to find our own way to deal with it. Or, you could just let your old pal the Didact help you out. What I do here is a true public service, after all. And in this case, let’s get...

Monday morning haemorrhoid ointment

I’ll bet $20 that you didn’t expect to start your Monday by looking at a headline like that, eh? Today, though, it’s quite appropriate, because I finally got around to checking out our friend Terrence Popp’s EPIC breakdown of Jeff...